smart bed
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Look at this dumb asshole that got the $2500-2600 (assuming queen mattress) plus $17/mo or 199/yr subscription mattress cover (eg not the actual fucking mattress or bed frame). What a broke piece of shit. Should’ve gotten the $2850-2950 pod 6
After briefly googling what this actually is and the costs involved I have 0 sympathy for anyone involved. This is 100% tech bro bullshit. A temperature controlled bed sounds neat, I guess, and I am always a sucker for analytics, but this is possibly the most consumer hostile bullshit I have ever seen. It is all of the worst practices of modern tech wrapped into a device:
Grossly overpriced? Check
$350 upsell for physical controls? Check
Tons of vague language about health benefits that extrapolate valid claims onto their product, suggesting their product has benefits beyond something far cheaper (eg temperature does impact sleep but a $10 fan or $150 window unit would likely be fine because research is generally about environment and not about the surface of the bed)? Zero research about the device itself and zero funding for them to get this product investigated? Check
Subscription required? Not technically, core functionality still works, but you lose all the analytics, all the “smart adjustments” of temperature (it basically will just hold a constant temperature throughout the night whereas the subscription will adjust it gradually based on movement) and the biggest point is that your warranty is voided and you lose all support if you don’t maintain a subscription
Also while I don’t know this for sure I am betting there is 0 chance that you can fix this thing if it breaks.
This thing is so dumb and if you buy it I will judge you. You could buy a 2001 Honda accord LX with 141,000 miles. for that price. That’s a reliable car. I had one and drove it to 200k, sold it and I’m sure it ran for a while longer. Maintain it well and you’ll get 250-300k out of that bad boy. Meanwhile your dumb water bed cover will break and leak all over which is apparently so bad people all worry about all the posts theyve seen about leaking and the social media team has to come share blog post about how they make them less shitty now. sorry if you got the first batch, i guess. But it’s okay because as dumb redditors point out you can give them another $500 to extend the warranty to 5 years. Just remember to keep that subscription active or that warranty is void you stupid piece of shit.
you still need a fucking mattress! You know someone buying this isn’t throwing it on a $400 ikea mattress. They’re going for the $3200 foam mattress. I am so mad about this
Edit: it also sells the biometric data its harvests about you to advertisers. Reddit posts show it uploads anywhere from 10-30gb of data per month, so it’s collecting quite a bit of data
Internet of Things is a scam
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Invest in orthopedic mattress and linen sheets instead of this crap.
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tbh until I read ur comment I just assumed this was a shitpost tweet making fun of the state of consumer electronics, not a real product
I bought a gleeb for my glibben needs but it has no interoperability with floob, so I bought an adaptor from Amazon with a weird brand name made of plastic... etc etc
Just buy a blanket...?
This product is more for people that run hot during the night. Especially for couples where one runs hot and the other runs cold during the night. And the cold one doesn’t want to sleep with ac on all night. With this product the hot sleeper can just turn on the bed cooler on their side to cooldown. So a blanket wouldn’t help in that situation. There are other brands that don’t require internet or a subscription. And yes if you only buy this product to warm your mattress than you are stupid.
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Shit primarily on the people at the company making the joke product, and secondarily on the dumbass who bought one.
The individuals at the company are the problem. The internet tends to comment like they don't get this.
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Shit primarily on the people at the company making the joke product, and secondarily on the dumbass who bought one.
The individuals at the company are the problem. The internet tends to comment like they don't get this.
"the Internet" is commenting exactly that way...
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This product is more for people that run hot during the night. Especially for couples where one runs hot and the other runs cold during the night. And the cold one doesn’t want to sleep with ac on all night. With this product the hot sleeper can just turn on the bed cooler on their side to cooldown. So a blanket wouldn’t help in that situation. There are other brands that don’t require internet or a subscription. And yes if you only buy this product to warm your mattress than you are stupid.
Than is not then
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While the IKEA mattress is fine for you or me, I really don't think this smart mattress is actually that expensive. I believe 5k and up is still relatively common for a high quality mattress.
When you annualise it over 10 years and between two people, if they're getting better sleep than they would have otherwise, who are we to judge how they spend their money? It's actually not that bad in terms of value. There are nights in the summer where I would gladly pay €200 to not be sweating into the sheets.
Obviously, relying on a company for an app to control your bed is the idiotic part. But the price itself is not outrageous for me.
The best mattress I've owned was like $1500 and has lasted me 15 years now. Even with inflation, your figure is quite high
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That's not a smart bed, that's an internet-connected revenue-extractor.
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Invest in orthopedic mattress and linen sheets instead of this crap.
Maybe you don't live somewhere where the average summer temperatures are 30C or higher. I'm those places, this would be a great product; your alternatives are to swelter all night, or A/C your house. A self-cooling bed would be more energy efficient.
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Shit primarily on the people at the company making the joke product, and secondarily on the dumbass who bought one.
The individuals at the company are the problem. The internet tends to comment like they don't get this.
The individuals at the company are the problem. The internet tends to comment like they don’t get this.
You make it sound like if you make and sell a thing, people are required to buy it. If you tried to sell me an AI bed that would not function without an active internet connection, I'd laugh at you.
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HOLD ON IS THIS NOT SATIRE!? I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY
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Shit primarily on the people at the company making the joke product, and secondarily on the dumbass who bought one.
The individuals at the company are the problem. The internet tends to comment like they don't get this.
The individuals at the company are the problem. The internet tends to comment like they don't get this.
Its actually the endless profit seeking that corporations must abide by in order to succeed that has led to shitty unnecessary tech and AI integration being in everything. The individuals working to make a living are only a symptom of that process. If they did not exist some other desperate soul would sell their labor instead. They might carry responsibility but they do not cause this issue.
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Maybe you don't live somewhere where the average summer temperatures are 30C or higher. I'm those places, this would be a great product; your alternatives are to swelter all night, or A/C your house. A self-cooling bed would be more energy efficient.
I just took a trip down south in the US and obsessively monitored the weather back home and pined for it haha.
92F (33C) where I was at, 68F (20C) at home.
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Waterbeds suck, honestly. They're great for people who have a very consistent body temp and don't have a partner. Get warm or cold in the middle of the night? Tough, it takes ages to change the temp of a huge mass of water. Partner with a different comfort zone? Too bad.
They're also pretty uncomfortable for a lot of people. I hate waterbeds
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This product is more for people that run hot during the night. Especially for couples where one runs hot and the other runs cold during the night. And the cold one doesn’t want to sleep with ac on all night. With this product the hot sleeper can just turn on the bed cooler on their side to cooldown. So a blanket wouldn’t help in that situation. There are other brands that don’t require internet or a subscription. And yes if you only buy this product to warm your mattress than you are stupid.
Especially for couples where one runs hot and the other runs cold during the night.
Without elaborating too much, this is my situation, and we solve this by having the room cold for him and blankets for me. Actually, the situation is much better when our insurance stops jerking us around about his medication that fixes his night sweating and other related problems, but we're American, so can't be helped.
It just seems like a lot of trouble when you can buy a blanket idk.
Honestly, I'm the one paying for a subscription service that doesn't help (insurance), so I guess I'm the clown here.
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Especially for couples where one runs hot and the other runs cold during the night.
Without elaborating too much, this is my situation, and we solve this by having the room cold for him and blankets for me. Actually, the situation is much better when our insurance stops jerking us around about his medication that fixes his night sweating and other related problems, but we're American, so can't be helped.
It just seems like a lot of trouble when you can buy a blanket idk.
Honestly, I'm the one paying for a subscription service that doesn't help (insurance), so I guess I'm the clown here.
Well I did say that this is for people that don't like to have the AC on all night, like when the cold sleeper keeps complaining about a cold head or the noise. Like not everyone lives in the US where HVAC is the norm many people in the world have those big AC units hanging on the wall that can be pretty noisy.
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https://www.eightsleep.com/product/pod-cover/
It's real. I was legitimately expecting to feel foolish for believing it.
There's one born every minute.
haha funny joke. wait wdym this isn't some random twitter account making up unrealistic funny scenarios? whatt
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I initially thought this was a satire comment, on a satire product.
The fact it is real makes something feel fundamentally wrong with the world.
It's... it's not satire?!
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a physical knob vs "state-of-the-art" AI
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It's... it's not satire?!
Welcome to the future!
