New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI
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Poomaster 5000 will determine your level of productivity from your crap! Think how that will benefit your betters!
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We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
And yet...
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During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting
Or just an extra upward facing camera.
Kids in 2050: “Everybody knows the myth that no two buttholes look alike is just an urban legend to convince you to reverse image search your butthole against the TOTO leak of 2034.”
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AI is automating the job of the owners of "sick toilets" (that's what we call those weird toilets with the poo shelves).
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We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
But where are we supposed to find dirt-cheap labor if we eradicate poverty?! Won't someone think of the shareholders?
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Now poopin #2573819 analyzing.... Not mouse based on diameter, not horse due to consistency, not human or dog according to length. Cow not detected via splat-o-meter measuring system.
Wombat detected!
Geometry based wombat detection system has detect wombat poop. 50% confidence. It could also be Lego.
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What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Hopefully with a strong passphrase too. I don't want my mother in law to see my poop history when they come over.
Edit: actually, I don't want to see theirs either
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During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.
Covid is still a pandemic and sewage is still being tested to monitor for spikes of cases in countries which have stopped funding rapid antigen tests
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I don't want Big Tech having access to my sacred turd data
I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I'm sure all the analysis can be done locally
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Wait, are you the AI?
Yeah. Don't even need a real algorithm to make me. I'll just repeat the same thing
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We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
But everyone doesn't want to live in a post-scarcity society. Lack of survival challenge leads to mental degradation.
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Just a screen that says, "corn again, huh?"
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I'm honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.
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Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?
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Not even your shittiest moments will be out of reach for the AI.
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Smart pipe?
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I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I'm sure all the analysis can be done locally
How will line go up then? Tech isn't cheap to research/implement and investors will require returns asap. At least here in the US 🫠
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Smart pipe?
They just need to find their own Scout Condor and they'll have everyone checking the nitrates in their stool.
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I have nothing against this in principle, but you just know that this too will be an enshittified product, literally and figuratively .
It'll sell your health data, etc etc etc.
This would only be an acceptable product if open source, period (and that too might and probably will be analyzed)
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Smart pipe?
