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  1. Home
  2. Not The Onion
  3. New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Not The Onion
nottheonion
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  • S [email protected]
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    J This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote on last edited by
    #43

    AI and turds are redundant, btw.

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    • S [email protected]
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      H This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote on last edited by
      #44

      Reverse digestion extrapolation!

      ( https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jWFxlRpcjd0 )

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      • S [email protected]
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        fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
        fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote on last edited by
        #45

        Shit's gett'n creeeepyyy

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        • M This user is from outside of this forum
          M This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote on last edited by
          #46

          During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.

          M jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • S [email protected]
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            quoll@lemmy.sdf.orgQ This user is from outside of this forum
            quoll@lemmy.sdf.orgQ This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote on last edited by
            #47

            fucking gay woke ai telling to eat more vegetables

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            • J [email protected]

              The billions spent chasing these unicorns could be so much better used to lift communities out of poverty and give clean water and housing to thousands. Our priorities are fucked.

              J This user is from outside of this forum
              J This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote on last edited by
              #48

              We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

              J robotzap10000@feddit.nlR A 3 Replies Last reply
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              • S [email protected]
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                wrote on last edited by
                #49

                Poomaster 5000 will determine your level of productivity from your crap! Think how that will benefit your betters!

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                • J [email protected]

                  We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

                  J This user is from outside of this forum
                  J This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote on last edited by
                  #50

                  And yet...

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                  • M [email protected]

                    During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.

                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                    #51

                    We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting

                    Or just an extra upward facing camera.

                    Kids in 2050: “Everybody knows the myth that no two buttholes look alike is just an urban legend to convince you to reverse image search your butthole against the TOTO leak of 2034.”

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                    • S [email protected]
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                      wrote on last edited by
                      #52

                      AI is automating the job of the owners of "sick toilets" (that's what we call those weird toilets with the poo shelves).

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • J [email protected]

                        We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

                        robotzap10000@feddit.nlR This user is from outside of this forum
                        robotzap10000@feddit.nlR This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #53

                        But where are we supposed to find dirt-cheap labor if we eradicate poverty?! Won't someone think of the shareholders?

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                        • S [email protected]
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                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #54

                          Now poopin #2573819 analyzing.... Not mouse based on diameter, not horse due to consistency, not human or dog according to length. Cow not detected via splat-o-meter measuring system.

                          Wombat detected!

                          Geometry based wombat detection system has detect wombat poop. 50% confidence. It could also be Lego.

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                          • D [email protected]

                            What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?

                            jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                            jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                            #55

                            Hopefully with a strong passphrase too. I don't want my mother in law to see my poop history when they come over.

                            Edit: actually, I don't want to see theirs either 😧

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • M [email protected]

                              During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.

                              jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #56

                              Covid is still a pandemic and sewage is still being tested to monitor for spikes of cases in countries which have stopped funding rapid antigen tests

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                              • R [email protected]

                                I don't want Big Tech having access to my sacred turd data

                                jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote on last edited by
                                #57

                                I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I'm sure all the analysis can be done locally

                                W 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • I [email protected]

                                  Wait, are you the AI?

                                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                                  R This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #58

                                  Yeah. Don't even need a real algorithm to make me. I'll just repeat the same thing

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                                  • J [email protected]

                                    We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #59

                                    But everyone doesn't want to live in a post-scarcity society. Lack of survival challenge leads to mental degradation.

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                                    • S [email protected]
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                                      N This user is from outside of this forum
                                      N This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #60

                                      Just a screen that says, "corn again, huh?"

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                                      • S [email protected]
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                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #61

                                        I'm honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.

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                                        • S [email protected]
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                                          nutwrench@lemmy.mlN This user is from outside of this forum
                                          nutwrench@lemmy.mlN This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #62

                                          Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?

                                          A 1 Reply Last reply
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