Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.
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All consulting is like this. It’s a way to offload blame for your decisions by not making any in-house.
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I know it's a joke, but executive and analyst are oxymorons in the corporate world.
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I thought CEOs commanded wildly exorbitant salaries because they were super smart and made all the decisions. Why would a consulting firm exist?
Consultants are paid to provide outside consensus. They strengthen the CEO's perceived smartness. They give it validity. McKinsey, because of its brand, provides the most value to a CEO in the boardroom.
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But if he did, would they take it?
Only if you also sold the idea to the investor class
It's why companies all seem to lay people off and go to a subscription model in lock step - the stock price only goes up because they're playing both sides
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From my (fortunately) brief experience in software consulting, I can confirm that is an important unwritten rule of the job. It doesn't matter what exactly you sell to customers, as long as they are willing to buy it and come back. It explains why a lot of software is dogshit.
"I can't produce anything, so I'll take money away from other people doing business" ~consultants
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Because that’s the slop it turned into. It was a place for documentaries and educational content, just like MTV used to have music. But watching Kate torment her brood of children or Honey BooBoo eat sketti makes the kind of money airing a college lecture doesn’t.
This kind of content taking off and the popularity of the Kardashians were the proverbial canary in the coal mine for the intellectual apocalypse we're dealing with now. We are what we eat, and what you watch absolutely influences how you think and act.
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And if you are wondering why the German military is being made fun of so much: it's McKinsey again. But no worries, we took care if it. The minister of defense in charge back then is long gone. Cause she is the president of the European Commission now. Multiple of her children have worked for McKinsey in the past. What a coincidence!
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All consulting is like this. It’s a way to offload blame for your decisions by not making any in-house.
Sounds like they still get paid then!
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Why do I associate TLC with, like, Trading Spaces and other domestic not-quite-a-game shows like that? Am I conflating it with something else? Also I haven't had "television" in decades now.
It used to be PBS for adults. I remember turning it on and there would be a documentary about like piano players and the connection to the brain.
Went down hill thanks to reality TV.
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"What's your advice?"
"My advice is to not take my advice. That'll be 63 million dollars, please."
More like "tell me what you already decided to do, and pay me out the ass to create a justification for it so you can pin it on us if it's a giant fuckup after the fact'.
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TIl, I could do this job.
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All consulting is like this. It’s a way to offload blame for your decisions by not making any in-house.
Our company paid a consulting firm 100k to deliver the same message our internal had been saying for 5 years.
Oh yes. The board member used to work for that consultancy.
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This company also advised multiple large opiate manufacturers.
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TIl, I could do this job.
A lot of high paying decision making jobs could be done much better if they were actually given to people based on their talents and not who they know or are related to.
The hardest part about the job is getting it
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McKinsey:
For when you have no fucking clue how to do your job, and want authoritative, plausible deniability about that.
When you used to work for them and hope to return someday as partner, so you push as much business their way as you can.
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Guess what the guys an McKinsey are doing...
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I thought CEOs commanded wildly exorbitant salaries because they were super smart and made all the decisions. Why would a consulting firm exist?
In theory they provide advice in areas that the company is not expert in. E.g. a pharmaceutical company would ask a consultant to recommend and implement an accounting system.
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When you used to work for them and hope to return someday as partner, so you push as much business their way as you can.
Yeeep.
Its all an incestuously club of referrals and nepotism at the top of corporate America, who would have guessed.
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In, fire 30 percent of the workforce, new logo, boom, out.
You are now a fully trained management consultant.
Is that normal shitposting you're doing?
