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  3. Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.

Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Microblog Memes
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  • N [email protected]

    All consulting is like this. It’s a way to offload blame for your decisions by not making any in-house.

    vetoftheseas@discuss.onlineV This user is from outside of this forum
    vetoftheseas@discuss.onlineV This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #90

    Sounds like they still get paid then!

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC [email protected]

      Why do I associate TLC with, like, Trading Spaces and other domestic not-quite-a-game shows like that? Am I conflating it with something else? Also I haven't had "television" in decades now.

      vetoftheseas@discuss.onlineV This user is from outside of this forum
      vetoftheseas@discuss.onlineV This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #91

      It used to be PBS for adults. I remember turning it on and there would be a documentary about like piano players and the connection to the brain.

      Went down hill thanks to reality TV.

      1 Reply Last reply
      6
      • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

        "What's your advice?"

        "My advice is to not take my advice. That'll be 63 million dollars, please."

        C This user is from outside of this forum
        C This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #92

        More like "tell me what you already decided to do, and pay me out the ass to create a justification for it so you can pin it on us if it's a giant fuckup after the fact'.

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        • B [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          K This user is from outside of this forum
          K This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #93

          TIl, I could do this job.

          R 1 Reply Last reply
          5
          • N [email protected]

            All consulting is like this. It’s a way to offload blame for your decisions by not making any in-house.

            K This user is from outside of this forum
            K This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #94

            Our company paid a consulting firm 100k to deliver the same message our internal had been saying for 5 years.

            Oh yes. The board member used to work for that consultancy.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • B [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              bakkoda@sh.itjust.worksB This user is from outside of this forum
              bakkoda@sh.itjust.worksB This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #95

              This company also advised multiple large opiate manufacturers.

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              • B [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                D This user is from outside of this forum
                D This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #96

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                • K [email protected]

                  TIl, I could do this job.

                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #97

                  A lot of high paying decision making jobs could be done much better if they were actually given to people based on their talents and not who they know or are related to.

                  The hardest part about the job is getting it

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  5
                  • S [email protected]

                    McKinsey:

                    For when you have no fucking clue how to do your job, and want authoritative, plausible deniability about that.

                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #98

                    When you used to work for them and hope to return someday as partner, so you push as much business their way as you can.

                    S 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • G [email protected]

                      Guess what the guys an McKinsey are doing...

                      K This user is from outside of this forum
                      K This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #99

                      https://archive.is/tcv2p

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                      0
                      • F [email protected]

                        I thought CEOs commanded wildly exorbitant salaries because they were super smart and made all the decisions. Why would a consulting firm exist?

                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #100

                        In theory they provide advice in areas that the company is not expert in. E.g. a pharmaceutical company would ask a consultant to recommend and implement an accounting system.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • K [email protected]

                          When you used to work for them and hope to return someday as partner, so you push as much business their way as you can.

                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #101

                          Yeeep.

                          Its all an incestuously club of referrals and nepotism at the top of corporate America, who would have guessed.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • blackmist@feddit.ukB [email protected]

                            In, fire 30 percent of the workforce, new logo, boom, out.

                            You are now a fully trained management consultant.

                            G This user is from outside of this forum
                            G This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #102

                            Is that normal shitposting you're doing?

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                            1
                            • J [email protected]

                              Consulting services are vital because they improving corporate synergy by utilizing market solutions and relocating potential where it is needed most.

                              G This user is from outside of this forum
                              G This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #103

                              Gotta efficiently operationalize that strategy.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • B [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #104

                                Man I wish I knew how to grift rich people like this

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                                • justas@sh.itjust.worksJ [email protected]

                                  Pichai was so bad, even McKinsey didn't want to keep him.

                                  C This user is from outside of this forum
                                  C This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #105

                                  McKinsey likes to hire recent graduates who they suspect will wind up in high places. It builds them strong connections and lets them brag to potential customers as well as customers' stakeholders that they have cutting edge talent and that they hire the best and to tell potential employees that a few years with them is part of how you move from an elite educational institution into high levels of business or politics.

                                  The worst thing this says about Pichai is that he was the sort of person who seeks to be on the ladder to elite careers.

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                                  • B [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #106

                                    Consulting services rarely are there to help figure out what to do, they're there to help convince other people that what you want to do is the right move.

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                                    • B [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #107

                                      The real skill isn't the advice - it's convincing executives that contradicting your previous $100M recommendation somehow validates hiring you again.

                                      🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

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                                      • blackmist@feddit.ukB [email protected]

                                        In, fire 30 percent of the workforce, new logo, boom, out.

                                        You are now a fully trained management consultant.

                                        N This user is from outside of this forum
                                        N This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                        #108

                                        I had a friend who did consulting right out of college. Half the time he said it was his job to suggest layoffs so the people in charge could pretend it wasn't their idea.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • G [email protected]

                                          C'mon now...

                                          If they can't charge all that money to be wrong. How can they pay the US government the $722,000,000.00 they owe?

                                          The Justice Department said McKinsey Africa had received credit for cooperating with its investigation and conducting anti-corruption training for employees. The $122,850,000 McKinsey has agreed to fork up includes a penalty it will pay in South Africa.

                                          McKinsey is also in talks with the Justice Department to pay more than $600 million to resolve a separate investigation into the consulting firm's work helping opioid manufacturers boost sales that allegedly contributed to a deadly addiction epidemic, people familiar with the matter have told Reuters.

                                          https://www.reuters.com/world/africa/mckinsey-africa-pay-122-million-south-africa-bribery-scheme-us-justice-dept-says-2024-12-05/

                                          You think Purdue Pharma could have made all those drug addicts customers without McKinsey pushing pills for them?

                                          Won't some think of the Billionaires stock portfolios!

                                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #109

                                          Fair, but like, nothing sells itself like opiates. [I'm actually aware they're the ones who encouraged the massive ad campaign focused on claiming oxycontin isn't addictive, though given Sackler previous behavior I believe in their ability to figure that strategy out on their own]

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