The great millennial garbage gyre
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Millennial here. Have recently dabbled with the apps. Honestly the guys I was shown were not objectively bad looking. Many of them were pretty attractive. But not my type at all. My interests were books and video games and nerdy sweetness…and it kept recommending me muscle gym divorced military dads. So I gave up.
muscle gym divorced military dads
I know a bunch of these dudes, and most of them are into books and video games.
Something about the RPG grind mechanic in certain video games and a typical strength/barbell progression program scratch the same itch, so people who tend to be into one are also into the other.
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I think a lot of nerdy people need to just start going outside and doing stuff. Like, if you enjoy DND roll up to the local hobby store and start hanging out, even if you arent playing.
None of this is targeted directly at you, just as good a spot as any to rant.. lol
I think more people would be surprised that the horror stories are the minority. At my local game story I go to a painting night once a month mostly to hang out and chat. There are a pretty even split of women/men.
Point is I think this a safe spot to make friends and making friends is the only way to get into a relationship you'll actually enjoy.
I met my girlfriend doing Star wars rp. My friend met his girl playing magic l. All my single friends have something in common. They don't make time for their hobbies and don't hang out with like minded people in that space.
Just a side note I'm not saying that everyone should go harass people at their FLGS or use it as a dating service, but rather, going out and hanging out with like minded people opens up a lot of options that aren't on dating apps.
I'm pretty introverted too but when people are into whatever my hyper focus is it's much easier to open up. Go out there! Be uncomfortable! Not a cure all but it's something.
Freaking Star Wars RP. Spectacular!
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The pics part is weird because it's like... I'm supposed to have other people's photos of me? I don't have photos of me. Why would I take a photo of the same thing I see every morning like I'm just trying to say hello to the world, like I'm an actually happy, well-adjusted person who wants to update all of his friends on his day.... oh, that's, ok. I get it now. That's why.
Yep. It takes a minute to break that mindset. Worse is remembering on trips, like on my last one I forgot to take a pic while walking the amazing vineyard.
Feels like a meat market, but the effort helps.
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How do young people meet new people these days? I met my husband while at work. Became official via Facebook status.
I suspect that ordinary avenues for meeting friends in one's 30's is also available for meeting partners, only you have to acknowledge that most of the people you meet aren't going to be single/interested.
I'm an extrovert. I talk to strangers in certain settings, especially where waiting around is normal. One of my best friends, I met in line waiting to get into a standup comedy show. I've met other friends in line for concerts and sporting events, too. I've also met friends sitting at the bar or some kind of communal table of a restaurant, and connected over the food itself. It just takes the boldness of asking for contact information and then texting "it was nice to meet you today, great talking to you" and then sometimes that becomes a friendship.
But pure strangers are hard to connect with in one interaction. Most of the friends I made after 30 were from repeated interactions over time: neighbors you see regularly, other regulars at the dog park/coffee shop, etc.
And once you're in a mode where you can make friends, if some of them happen to be single and compatible, maybe you try going out on a date.
And yes, this means that sometimes you'll meet people at the gym, or at their place of work, or other circumstances where it's frowned upon to hit on strangers. But making the friendship bridge first can give you that read on the situation of whether they're actually open to dating.
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Married an "older" woman.
Ran into any problems where you can't keep up?
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muscle gym divorced military dads
I know a bunch of these dudes, and most of them are into books and video games.
Something about the RPG grind mechanic in certain video games and a typical strength/barbell progression program scratch the same itch, so people who tend to be into one are also into the other.
That’s very interesting…I’ll have to take your word for it. My ex was in the military and my experience was…not that. I’m sure some are wonderful people.
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All dating apps suck, but Hinge sucked less for me. I actually found someone with similar interests that wasn't just looking for a free dinner.
apps centered on polyamory tend to be far less hostile to its users. I assume it's because a user getting one or two good relationships out of the app doesn't lose them those users.
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In my 50s and I don't bother anymore. It's just not worth the hassle. In my 30s I would have had to send out 100 messages to get 1 date. It's so much worse in my 50s.
I'm in IT who generally is tech oriented. I've never even thought of touching dating apps. The idea itself of meeting digitally first, when there are so many women around in real life, is somewhat absurd to me. I feel like the apps might be used mostly by the ones who fail to make contact in real life, which already makes you questionable
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But who makes the profit in your silly goose scenario? Somebody has to be making money or it's a terrible idea!
This is what we call long-term investment a taxman wins once you have kids
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Married dude here who has a lot of single dude friends. 1/3 is accurate.
And if it's not Rogan, it's some other right-adjacent influencer. It's fucking weird too. They're regular dudes, helping old ladies on the street and supporting a neighbor. Then suddenly, they crack and share how terrible women are.
Then you got women who are on the other side, complaining about how terrible men are.
I don't understand it.
I mean, when there's less cross-interaction nowadays and everyone's in their own bubbles prevent a challenge their preconceptions, it makes sense.
This is affecting all facets of society, politics even.
Also there's survivor bias: there is also the fact that on these platforms, the impact of assholes in the dating pool is much greater then the good ones, because it's the same assholes being cycle through the system, whereas the good ones have already reached the terminal state and found their partner.
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Oh that's kinda crazy. The minimum age here is like 14, albeit with a huge amount of restrictions. I think it got my first job at 15
But I was working in my parents restaurant since i was like 6 or 7. Its "technically" not allowed but people mostly turn a blind eye to parents using their kids as labor, unless its otherwise abusive/neglectful
wrote last edited by [email protected]Damn, at 15 you're still at school here and going to school is compulsory by law. (It is also financially supported by the state, i.e. pupils and parents don't have to pay for school attendance themselves. Well, through taxes)
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Ran into any problems where you can't keep up?
Definitely. She makes dirty dishes waaaaaay faster than I can wash them. I have no idea how, but she'll use 6 plates 4 spoons and a colander when she gets takeout.
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I can't wait for TRUMPDate. Make America Date Again. Can't go wrong.
Someone tried this with a dating app for right-wingers only called "The Right Stuff", which has faced significant criticism for lacking female users.
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This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
I am forklift certified. I do not need this.
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The joke is well we are pretty much the same, but complain about not being able to find partners. Reality: because we don't want to. Lemmy users are not so different from Reddit users.
Ah yes, both big dumb pandas. At least were fluffy…?
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Ah yes, both big dumb pandas. At least were fluffy…?
I'm lean and short
Barely any tummy.
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This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
Here's a concept: women over 29 years old don't view Tinder as a good option for finding decent men. Therefore only the most desperate are the ones who sign up to display themselves on the digital meat market.
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Honestly, some of the women I see have profiles that are basically demanding an incredible amount of labor from their potential partners.
No coffee dates, no walks. They want something planned out multiple days a week and in exchange they'll put up with you grunting on top of them.
They want something planned out multiple days a week and in exchange they'll put up with you grunting on top of them.
Lol, women enjoy sex as well my dude. With an opinion like that it kinda sounds like you may be stepping on your own feet there.
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Married dude here who has a lot of single dude friends. 1/3 is accurate.
And if it's not Rogan, it's some other right-adjacent influencer. It's fucking weird too. They're regular dudes, helping old ladies on the street and supporting a neighbor. Then suddenly, they crack and share how terrible women are.
Then you got women who are on the other side, complaining about how terrible men are.
I don't understand it.
And if it's not Rogan, it's some other right-adjacent influencer. It's fucking weird too. They're regular dudes, helping old ladies on the street and supporting a neighbor. Then suddenly, they crack and share how terrible women are.
Yeah.... Idk what it's all about. A lot of the girls in the company have issues with dudes who like the idea of hooking up with a dancer, then as soon as they get in a committed relationship they want them to quit because they get insanely jealous of other people watching them dance.
The younger crowd of men seem to be super possessive and simultaneously believe that girls only have sex to get things they want and at the same time are massive sluts who can't be trusted not to cheat......
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The bar isn't low. Not being a lazy bum or misogonyst is the bare minimum (as it should be). The real bar is multiple bars in form of a 110 meters hurdles. You have to jump over all of them. Everything below that and the other person will feel as if they are settling.
Not being a lazy bum or misogonyst is the bare minimum (as it should be).
Idk, just judging by any post containing gender discourse on Lemmy.....seems to be a pretty big hurdle for a lot of dudes.
You have to jump over all of them. Everything below that and the other person will feel as if they are settling.
That may just be a product of being younger. By the time you get to my age both men and women seem to be wanting to settle down and are more likely to compromise with the idea of an imperfect partnership.
