‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing
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Well, I need a reverse proxy or VPN or something so that the phones can connect to my Home Assistant server from outside the LAN. That's the main thing I haven't gotten done yet.
ah. tailscale is great for that. I personally just leave my home assistant exposed behind a reverse proxy
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This comment is just 'what do you have to worry about it you're not doing anything wrong' with extra words.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Nope. That’s only part of it. You’ve flattened the nuance into cliché without refuting the substance. But if that’s what you walked away with, that’s fine.
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My partner and I used to use location sharing pretty much 100% of the time. We just felt better knowing we could find each other.
But today, we do not, because the trust is shattered.
Google just cannot be trusted with our locations.
Home Assistant
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There are options that don't use Google et al.
So you have suggestions?
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For me, knowing my spouse’s location is just convenient for knowing ETA without bothering her. It’s not really about trust at all
Same. We both follow each other and neither of us care. We mostly have it enabled for the “just in case” scenario that anything happens to one of us. We can make sure that we know of our last known location.
I’ve also had her use it one time I was away from home in NYC. And I was too drunk to figure out which subway to take to get back to my hotel. So she walked me through step by step while on the phone with me. It fucking rocked.
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So you have suggestions?
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If you have to use these things in a relationship, then you already have a problem.
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Fun fact, location sharing is literally a form of communication. Super convenient. This thread is filled with people in shitty relationships. Yikes.
You realize you are also sharing your location with third parties or you havent figured that out yet? lmao
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Been sharing with select friends and family for years now, zero issues. And if we did have an issue? I'm turning it off for you
️ pretty simple. Frequently extremely convenient.A friend of a friend of mine is sharing with a friend of theirs. And it's a crap show like you said, coming over, inviting themselves to events, why were you there, etc. Everything you said. And it's still a problem, to the point where they leave their phone at home if they are doing anything sensitive, because they are afraid of hurting the person's feelings by turning it off
I think the key is having a backbone, and also not having crap friends
️Why would you want to share your location so third parties can have access to it?
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Uhhh, I trust her which is precisely why she has my passwords. Are you guys teenagers or something?
Also, location sharing is literally a form of communication. What if there’s an emergency?
Why would you want to give third parties access to your locations?
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lol do you think your phone isn’t normally recording your your location data even without this feature turned on?
lol Do you think its not made worse by turning it on?
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Home Assistant
Seconded.
And having each other's location is really helpful. I'm nervous if my partner doesn't know where I am.
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You'll never be able to stop someone that wants to cheat. Best you can do is be funner and sexier than anyone else your partner might be around. Never understood why that's so hard for some people.
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When we need to know each others location, we share it via element / matrix. Our own server, so no third party.
Happens maybe four times a year.
(Also, do you just always have location services enabled?? IMO it's a battery drain, I pretty much only enable it for this and while I need to navigate)
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If you have to use these things in a relationship, then you already have a problem.
This is the correct take.
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I can’t believe the number of people in here with paranoia and shitty relationships that can’t communicate with their “partner”
wrote last edited by [email protected]RIGHT??? Jesus Christ people.. Get some therapy
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You'll never be able to stop someone that wants to cheat. Best you can do is be funner and sexier than anyone else your partner might be around. Never understood why that's so hard for some people.
That's the gist of the success of my marriage. Even before we met, we both had reached a point of maturity where we were confident in ourselves as single people, and then from that solid base you can build the relationship in a healthy way. We both try to be the best to our partner, while being ultimately independent. These over-jealous people are using their relationship as a crutch for life so they're terrified of it going wrong. Either that or they're guilty themselves and projecting.
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Yes we're teenagers. We've been married 15 years, ceremony was when we were three.
Privacy is important, have you never kept a diary? Do you film therapy sessions lest your partner not know what you discussed? Shit with the door open? You don't need justification for wanting privacy, you need privacy so when you have a good reason for it nothing looks different.
What if there’s an emergency?
What if there is? Get help, that's an insane fear to live with. If I am unconscious there's nothing to do anyway, the hospital or whatever will find her details in my purse and call. What the fuck am I going to do, sit there watching the dot on the map and calling 000 if it stops moving? You are a lunatic, we have society to take care of us while we're out and about and emergency beacons if you're like camping beyond the black stump or sailing the Pacific.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I imagine this form of abuse is done by sociopaths that convinced their traumatised partners this is actually a good thing.
All the people in this thread that they do it for years and it's normal? Sociopaths.
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Sounds like trust issues
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I imagine this form of abuse is done by sociopaths that convinced their traumatised partners this is actually a good thing.
All the people in this thread that they do it for years and it's normal? Sociopaths.
My wife has done courses on warning signs for abusive relationships as part of some mental health first aid certification stuff.
2 biiiiiig red flags are insisting on surveillance and not letting people have separate finances. We have a combined account sure, and also pocket money accounts and whatever else. For all I know she's set up a trust. I mean I don't think she has because she'd probably tell me but she has the freedom to do so.
