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  3. Is there like a cheat code for dating apps?

Is there like a cheat code for dating apps?

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  • I [email protected]

    Yes, it can be a way of exploring various social situations without pressure whilst also having fun.

    There aren't any particularly good forums for it on Lemmy unfortunately but if you like I can send a discord invite to a community for finding people to rp with on DM.

    L This user is from outside of this forum
    L This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #13

    Sure that would be nice

    I 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • L [email protected]

      32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #14

      ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they’ve gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm.

      I feel like there's actual empirical evidence I've seen of that. Great engagement-drivers, though, and never getting you into a serious relationship helps keep you a customer/product.

      People are getting savvy to it now, and completely moving away from online dating. We'll see if non-shit services make a comeback.

      Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking.

      I mean, irl is the eventual goal, right? The online part is, at best, a better way of picking who to date.

      Otherwise, online roleplaying might push all the buttons you need. Or therapy, if you want to handle your anxiety better.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • L [email protected]

        Sure that would be nice

        I This user is from outside of this forum
        I This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #15

        sent a message

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • V [email protected]

          Yes. Give up and go get a social hobby or volunteering. If you volunteer, you will literally be drowning in pussies

          sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
          sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #16

          Only if he volunteers at a cat shelter...

          1 Reply Last reply
          6
          • snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS [email protected]

            That sounds like "The Nathan Fielder Method" from The Rehearsal.

            I This user is from outside of this forum
            I This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #17

            hadn't heard of that one, sounds like a fun comedy series

            snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • L [email protected]

              32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

              kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
              kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by [email protected]
              #18

              Guaranteed to get matches if you show off big wads of cash in your pics, no matter what you look like.

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • L [email protected]

                32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                #19

                I've never never bothered with online dating, but I've heard quite a bit of anecdote about it being an absolute dumpster fire for anyone over 30 who doesn't look like a pornstar. As others have mentioned, stop wasting time with the apps and do -something- that interests you that'll get you out and interacting with like-minded people, and see where that takes you.

                A 1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • I [email protected]

                  hadn't heard of that one, sounds like a fun comedy series

                  snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                  snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #20

                  It absolutely is!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • _thisdot@infosec.pub_ [email protected]

                    Here are the steps

                    1. Don't be ugly
                    2. See step 1
                    agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA This user is from outside of this forum
                    agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                    #21

                    It's

                    1. Be attractive
                    2. Don't be unattractive

                    Just not being ugly isn't enough, you gotta be actively hot.

                    N Z _thisdot@infosec.pub_ 3 Replies Last reply
                    9
                    • L [email protected]

                      32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #22

                      As a woman my advice is as follows: be a decent and caring human being who does something positive for others on a daily basis. Needy and deceptive behavior drives away people who are attracted to you.

                      A N S 3 Replies Last reply
                      10
                      • sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                        I've never never bothered with online dating, but I've heard quite a bit of anecdote about it being an absolute dumpster fire for anyone over 30 who doesn't look like a pornstar. As others have mentioned, stop wasting time with the apps and do -something- that interests you that'll get you out and interacting with like-minded people, and see where that takes you.

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #23

                        do -something- that interests you that’ll get you out and interacting with like-minded people

                        But then you meet either normies or other male nerds, depending on whether you pretend to like normal stuff or actually do the stuff you really like.

                        I wish old OkCupid was still a thing. There were still way more men than women there but at least it was possible to find the interesting women.

                        sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • L [email protected]

                          32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #24

                          Be interesting

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • L [email protected]

                            32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                            9 This user is from outside of this forum
                            9 This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #25

                            Been in a relationship for quite a while so this is 2nd hand knowledge, but you wanna avoid any app that's been around for more than 2-3 years.

                            At the beginning the apps need to get a reputation for successfully hooking people up and they're usually not urgently searching for money thanks to venture capitalism. After that point though they need to grow and profit.

                            You know what's bad for user growth in a dating app? Successfully matching people into a long term relationship; those users may never return.

                            The end result is what I hear tinder is these days: a siphon into the bank accounts of single people that will do everything it can to avoid making them not single.

                            umbrella@lemmy.mlU 1 Reply Last reply
                            13
                            • A [email protected]

                              do -something- that interests you that’ll get you out and interacting with like-minded people

                              But then you meet either normies or other male nerds, depending on whether you pretend to like normal stuff or actually do the stuff you really like.

                              I wish old OkCupid was still a thing. There were still way more men than women there but at least it was possible to find the interesting women.

                              sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                              sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by [email protected]
                              #26

                              I mean, you'll have to choose a hobby or w/e that puts you into a compatible crowd. If you're interested in women, don't choose something that's male-dominated.

                              ...also idk what 'normie' means to you, but it's actually okay to date someone who isn't a carbon-copy of yourself as a different gender. My wife isn't into hardly any of the nerdy shit that I am, nor vice versa, but there's enough overlap that we don't generally struggle to find things to do together; but enough that's distinct that we can explore our own interests when the other isn't available. What's way more important is you enjoy eachother's perosnality. Specific interests, field of study etc absolutely do not need to be on the same page.

                              So again, pick something. It doesn't have to be your favorite thing to do; if you enjoy it even a little, there's your like-minded overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA [email protected]

                                It's

                                1. Be attractive
                                2. Don't be unattractive

                                Just not being ugly isn't enough, you gotta be actively hot.

                                N This user is from outside of this forum
                                N This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #27

                                Which plays into how you present yourself vs how you look in general.

                                A 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L [email protected]

                                  32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                                  fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #28

                                  Yeah there is, change your sexual preference to bisexual and match with a few guys.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • V [email protected]

                                    Yes. Give up and go get a social hobby or volunteering. If you volunteer, you will literally be drowning in pussies

                                    miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                    #29

                                    100% volunteering. Think about it: 2 randos volunteering for the same thing!! Instant commonality! Whodda thunk!!
                                    Dating apps hate this secret.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • B [email protected]

                                      As a woman my advice is as follows: be a decent and caring human being who does something positive for others on a daily basis. Needy and deceptive behavior drives away people who are attracted to you.

                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #30

                                      You don't prefer attractive people?

                                      B 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • A [email protected]

                                        You don't prefer attractive people?

                                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                                        B This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #31

                                        There is no universal definition of attractive for all people, women, men, robots or space aliens.

                                        Be your true self and if you look far enough, you’ll be someone’s fantasy ( no guarantees on if you will find them attractive as well ).

                                        Even if only 1 in 10 million people think of you as their fantasy; that means you have 800+ possible partners to choose from.

                                        S A 2 Replies Last reply
                                        1
                                        • N [email protected]

                                          Which plays into how you present yourself vs how you look in general.

                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #32

                                          Ok, obviously people being attracted to you is a huge plus but there are plenty of average and even below average dudes out there with amazing women. Why?

                                          Because they're typically genuinely nice, caring dudes that don't treat women like some mountain to be summited.

                                          You want to know how to have enjoyable relationships with women? Maybe try actually being friends with a woman; no ulterior motives. Just find a friend and nurture that friendship. It's incredibly easy to be around women when you don't tack a bunch of sexual bullshit onto every situation involving them.

                                          Inevitably, you'll either find a suitable partner organically or you'll be introduced to someone that meshes well with you.

                                          Women make up 50% of the population. If you can't have a normal interaction or a friendship with them, that's a problem that requires you to look inward to resolve.

                                          Z 1 Reply Last reply
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