Is there like a cheat code for dating apps?

[leaveittogod@lemmy.zip]

I am very awkward when it comes to women so yeah it would be nice if the apps worked

[moseschrute@piefed.social]

Just treat her with respect and be a good listener. Maybe my perception is skewed but it seems like most men can’t do that these days. For context, I’m also a man.

Edit: also want to add, find someone that makes you feel secure. Being in a secure relationship may take time if you’re anxious or avoidant, but it’s worth it. Don’t waste time on people that play games. Even if it’s fun, there is no substitute for a secure relationship

[shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works]

Look abroad, try bumpy

[snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

That sounds like "The Nathan Fielder Method" from The Rehearsal.

[leaveittogod@lemmy.zip]

Sure that would be nice

[canadaplus@lemmy.sdf.org]

ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they’ve gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm.

I feel like there's actual empirical evidence I've seen of that. Great engagement-drivers, though, and never getting you into a serious relationship helps keep you a customer/product.

People are getting savvy to it now, and completely moving away from online dating. We'll see if non-shit services make a comeback.

Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking.

I mean, irl is the eventual goal, right? The online part is, at best, a better way of picking who to date.

Otherwise, online roleplaying might push all the buttons you need. Or therapy, if you want to handle your anxiety better.

[iceblade02@lemmy.world]

sent a message

[sterile_technique@lemmy.world]

Only if he volunteers at a cat shelter...

[iceblade02@lemmy.world]

hadn't heard of that one, sounds like a fun comedy series

[kolanaki@pawb.social]

Guaranteed to get matches if you show off big wads of cash in your pics, no matter what you look like.

[sterile_technique@lemmy.world]

I've never never bothered with online dating, but I've heard quite a bit of anecdote about it being an absolute dumpster fire for anyone over 30 who doesn't look like a pornstar. As others have mentioned, stop wasting time with the apps and do -something- that interests you that'll get you out and interacting with like-minded people, and see where that takes you.

[snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

It absolutely is!

[agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works]

It's

1. Be attractive
2. Don't be unattractive

Just not being ugly isn't enough, you gotta be actively hot.

[bacon_pdp@lemmy.world]

As a woman my advice is as follows: be a decent and caring human being who does something positive for others on a daily basis. Needy and deceptive behavior drives away people who are attracted to you.

[arbitraryvalue@sh.itjust.works]

do -something- that interests you that’ll get you out and interacting with like-minded people

But then you meet either normies or other male nerds, depending on whether you pretend to like normal stuff or actually do the stuff you really like.

I wish old OkCupid was still a thing. There were still way more men than women there but at least it was possible to find the interesting women.

[korhaka@sopuli.xyz]

Be interesting

[9point6@lemmy.world]

Been in a relationship for quite a while so this is 2nd hand knowledge, but you wanna avoid any app that's been around for more than 2-3 years.

At the beginning the apps need to get a reputation for successfully hooking people up and they're usually not urgently searching for money thanks to venture capitalism. After that point though they need to grow and profit.

You know what's bad for user growth in a dating app? Successfully matching people into a long term relationship; those users may never return.

The end result is what I hear tinder is these days: a siphon into the bank accounts of single people that will do everything it can to avoid making them not single.

[sterile_technique@lemmy.world]

I mean, you'll have to choose a hobby or w/e that puts you into a compatible crowd. If you're interested in women, don't choose something that's male-dominated.

...also idk what 'normie' means to you, but it's actually okay to date someone who isn't a carbon-copy of yourself as a different gender. My wife isn't into hardly any of the nerdy shit that I am, nor vice versa, but there's enough overlap that we don't generally struggle to find things to do together; but enough that's distinct that we can explore our own interests when the other isn't available. What's way more important is you enjoy eachother's perosnality. Specific interests, field of study etc absolutely do not need to be on the same page.

So again, pick something. It doesn't have to be your favorite thing to do; if you enjoy it even a little, there's your like-minded overlap.

[njspradlin@lemmy.world]

Which plays into how you present yourself vs how you look in general.

[fizz@lemmy.nz]

Yeah there is, change your sexual preference to bisexual and match with a few guys.