Is there like a cheat code for dating apps?
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
wrote last edited by [email protected]They absolutely have gotten way, way, way worse. I deleted all of them, despite 1.) being single, 2.) wanting to date again, and 3.) having met multiple dates on multiple apps in the past. They're simply not like they used to be, in part because of Match Group buying them all up and in part because the other non-Match Group options followed that same "successful" model.
It honestly feels like the only way to succeed is to pay, but EVEN THEN, using Tinder for example, you'll still be pestered to pay even more to "make sure your messages are seen" and most of the likes they suddenly turn on once you pay will be fake, bot profiles. To an absurd degree these days. And the prices are outrageous, with many of them having the gall to charge WEEKLY now.
It's not a you thing, it's a "the apps really, really suck" thing. There's a reason so many people, men and women alike, complain about these apps and insist they must "only see the worst matches." Because they almost certainly do. If they send you your best matches, you wouldn't subscribe anymore. If they send you bad matches, plus "good" fake matches, they think it'll keep your hopes up. Except it's obvious when all the fake profiles look the same, are exactly 99 miles away from you, etc...etc...
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On the apps, the cheat code is paying up. Even then, it won't guarantee any success. Last app I used was bumble, around the end of 2023, which was on its way of enshittification, but still worked muuuuuuuuuch better than tinder. Got lucky and met my current gf there (4th or 5th woman I managed to go out on a date from that app, out of many that I chatted with).
My main problem which makes me rely on the apps is that I simply rarely feel like going outside. Not doing any group activities seriously hurts your chances of finding anyone interesting.
Real life wise, your best bet would be trying dance classes, especially any that are supposed to be danced in pairs
I hear ya but dancing classes are definitely not for me
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Absolutely no idea what the current set is called, I'm afraid. I've been in my current relationship for over a decade
One of my mates was telling me the other week he is getting a lot of luck with one where you match and then immediately set up an IRL date without directly talking. I don't remember the name though, sorry
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Be a girl.
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Profile:
- full body pic
- face pic
- pic showing interests
- pic showing social life
- description taking about your interests and what you want to do (hiking, games, sports, clubs, whatever, open to new things, etc... Don't be shy about nerd shit)
- be honest.
- be positive.
Behavior:
- pick one day a week.
- pick one hour on that day, preferably the later half of your most normal schedule, or around 6pm otherwise.
- swipe for no more than 15 minutes/app in that hour.
- Most important: Look at people's profiles, be VERY picky. Swipe right ONLY on people you actually want to TALK to. If that's 3 out if 100 it's actually a good thing.
- do this for 3-6weeks if you're M4F.
The goal is to train the algorithm on the types of people YOU like. If you swipe right on everything it learns nothing and will show you people, and show you to people who share much less potential interest in a date.
This limited swipe schedule is also to combat brain-rot incelification and burnout. Sucks to be alone but go touch a tree and hang out with friends. No friends? I know it sucks shit but you gotta start there. Do the stuff you like doing around other people and take pictures. Helps with the profile, softens the loneliness, and you'll have people to confide in after a bad date.
Lastly, if you abused your account before(swiping right indiscriminately) it may be messed up. Let it sit a few weeks before trying again.
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
I think it's swipe up 2x, swipe down 2x, swipe left 2x, swipe right 2x, B, A, Start
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
This may sound like an odd question, but why are you dating? What are you seeking out that you don't have now?
I guess what I'm trying to say is my philosophy is to not go out of the way to find someone directly, but rather build one's own self confidence and communal hobbies that naturally draws you to people, friends or love interests alike.
Ironically I ended up meeting my soul mate within a year of committing to being content with being single. That altered my mindset and I guess made me more attractive and focused on self-improvement.
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This may sound like an odd question, but why are you dating? What are you seeking out that you don't have now?
I guess what I'm trying to say is my philosophy is to not go out of the way to find someone directly, but rather build one's own self confidence and communal hobbies that naturally draws you to people, friends or love interests alike.
Ironically I ended up meeting my soul mate within a year of committing to being content with being single. That altered my mindset and I guess made me more attractive and focused on self-improvement.
Because I never had a partner and it's frustrating
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I think it's swipe up 2x, swipe down 2x, swipe left 2x, swipe right 2x, B, A, Start
That's just the normal cheat code. You have to fast open your calculator at the end and type 666 for goth girls.
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Because I never had a partner and it's frustrating
wrote last edited by [email protected]I've been there. Always been awkward, always struggled with it, always had complex emotions about it. I can confirm though what the previous person said: building yourself up as someone with your own rich world that people would be interested in, that's the healthiest way. You should try as much as possible to do this, I know it's hard. I know you just feel like it's never your turn. But you have to try. I've never met anyone on dating apps but that's also because I used to go out a lot for specifically this reason. But pubs and clubs aren't exactly healthy, it lead more to wasted years, wasted money, and meaningless hookups that left me just as miserable... It was eventually when I took up traveling with organized groups (where I could socialize with like-minded strangers around a healthy topic that we had in common) that I met my current partner.
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
wrote last edited by [email protected]If you figure it out, let me know. I am also in my 30s and have never had any success with dating websites/apps. I've only ever had success meeting people the natural way.
Personally I wouldn't even bother with dating apps. Date someone from work or go to a singles event. I've had great success with those methods.
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
its always attractive or not, race also matters because people are that vain; white people and attractive would get more hits, and it goes down the list least likely. do they ask income , and some ask about your "size"
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
sexy horny gay dudes are always ready to show you what a real sexual revolution looks like.
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Having gone from the guy with no matches to getting good matches, in part from advice from female friends, here's what worked for me in order of priority:
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De-red flag. Remember, men are about 5-10x as likely to commit acts of violence as women. So imagine you're looking at your profile as a third person, assuming there's a good chance you're a serial killer. Make sure your jokes are clearly jokes and can't be read as hinting at any extreme beliefs or even overall weirdness. Seriously, there's like a 90% chance that if you haven't done this already, you've got something on your profile that's terrifying to most women. Now a common faulty cognition I see is "I should tell her what other girls don't like about me as a warning". No, stop. That's not how you do it. Because girls will assume it's 1000% worse than what you're saying, and even worse the algorithm will nuke you if you get too many rejections. Instead, see step 4) and reject other girls who won't be into you.
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Good pictures. Again, 1) comes into play here. No dark backgrounds. Nothing that looks like one of those pictures they show of suspects on the news. Outdoors is good. If you have pictures with people, great. If not, no sweat, just make it look good. Look up a guide on how to take a good selfie and use it.
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Keep your written answers short. No one reads them anyway, unless they're really long and creepy. You're not going to convince her you're Shakespeare, she's really just checking to make sure you don't remind her of someone she had a terrible experience with.
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Now all that being said, the best strategy for swiping is to be the opposite of most people. Don't just swipe on anyone who meets your attractiveness standards. Instead, swipe only on girls you'd really be excited to meet, and that you think would be excited to meet you too. Are you frugal? Don't swipe right on the model with a Gucci bag. I know it's hard. But you really have no chance of making it and dating her would make you miserable anyway. So swipe left and get the little boost that helps you meet a better match. I will say I've followed this strategy on Hinge which supposedly has a better algorithm for matching people, so I can't guarantee it for other sites.
#4 is so true, even 15+ years after I stopped using dating sites. I went on a lot of bad dates with attractive girls until I found my wife, who I matched mostly on details than looks alone.
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sexy horny gay dudes are always ready to show you what a real sexual revolution looks like.
Remember when conservatives used to say it was a choice? If it was a choice, I would have lost my virginity a lot sooner.
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Tell us more about your current usage. What are you doing and where is it failing?
Some of the other posts already hit the highlights. Have a variety of well lit photos. Your profile should be short, but with some unique-ish hooks for people to talk about (eg: "reading 'such and such' for my book club!" - several things for someone to ask about there).
When you do match with people, don't send generic messages. Don't just send "hey". Go read https://nohello.net/en/ for a post about that in other contexts.
After you've had one or two successful exchanges, clear any deal breakers you might have (eg: "really enjoying this conversation but wanted to make sure you saw on my profile I have a toddler. Are you okay with that?"). If that succeeds, ask them out.
Don't provide too many choices. People get overwhelmed easily. "I'd love to talk more about (whatever we we were talking about). Do you want to go on a date? I like (local bar), but (other bar) in your neighborhood looks fun, too!". Two choices. They'll probably pick one.
More specific advice may be available if you tell us more about your specific experience
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Remember when conservatives used to say it was a choice? If it was a choice, I would have lost my virginity a lot sooner.
Same here. I'm like a classic bear IRL and I get attention. My luck with women is nowhere close.
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Guaranteed to get matches if you show off big wads of cash in your pics, no matter what you look like.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Really? I feel like this needs to be empirically tested.
There's ways to accomplish that while not being rich, and rich people don't usually do that, but then again people are dumb.
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
- Be rich
- Don't be poor
I think that's the only legit cheat code
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32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
- Don't be a misogynistic piece of incel shit
- ?????
- Profit!
