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Piss Post

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • T [email protected]

    A-B-S. A-always, B-be, S-shitting. Always be shitting! Always be shitting!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's shit or walk. You shit or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the turtlehead comin' out; you think they came out to take a look around? Guy doesn't sit on the toilet unless he wants to shit. Sitting there waiting to deliver the goods! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Moss) What's the problem pal?

    K This user is from outside of this forum
    K This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #39

    PUT...THE TP...DOWN! TP is for SHITTERS.

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • S [email protected]

      Just make sure to put it back when you're done

      T This user is from outside of this forum
      T This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #40

      NEVER!

      piss burglar

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      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        P This user is from outside of this forum
        P This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #41

        Farting while pissing is cool though

        I 1 Reply Last reply
        5
        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #42

          Sitting to pee instantly solves half of these

          Q J 2 Replies Last reply
          2
          • S [email protected]

            If your intent in the bathroom is the left label, the face is the one you make when the top label happens.

            P This user is from outside of this forum
            P This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #43

            But why is she so happy to be peeing while peeing?

            S 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • S [email protected]

              Sitting to pee instantly solves half of these

              Q This user is from outside of this forum
              Q This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #44

              This chart is for sitting to pee.

              S 1 Reply Last reply
              2
              • T [email protected]

                I modified Alec Baldwin's "Always Be Closing" speech from Glengarry Glenross. If you haven't seen it, it's good.

                R This user is from outside of this forum
                R This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #45

                Ok, so I just made up always be shitting as definitely being a thing. Damnit. It felt so real.

                Thanks for the rec though!

                P 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • P [email protected]

                  But why is she so happy to be peeing while peeing?

                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #46

                  You've never spent the entire 2nd intermission waiting in line to return 3 16oz'ers back to the wild, have you?

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                    socsa@piefed.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    socsa@piefed.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #47

                    I can fix her

                    sharkfucker420@lemmy.mlS 1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • P [email protected]

                      Farting while pissing is cool though

                      I This user is from outside of this forum
                      I This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #48

                      you can see the autistic vibrations in the pee stream

                      swedneck@discuss.tchncs.deS 1 Reply Last reply
                      3
                      • socsa@piefed.socialS [email protected]

                        I can fix her

                        sharkfucker420@lemmy.mlS This user is from outside of this forum
                        sharkfucker420@lemmy.mlS This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #49

                        There is literally nothing to fix

                        ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • S [email protected]

                          Sitting to pee instantly solves half of these

                          J This user is from outside of this forum
                          J This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #50

                          are you imagining this woman pees standing up..?

                          ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
                          5
                          • Q [email protected]

                            This chart is for sitting to pee.

                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #51

                            Then I don't see the problem in shitting during peeing.

                            Q 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • sharkfucker420@lemmy.mlS [email protected]

                              There is literally nothing to fix

                              ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                              ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #52

                              Babe, everytime I fart, I piss and shit myself.

                              "There's literally nothing wrong with that."

                              L 1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • J [email protected]

                                are you imagining this woman pees standing up..?

                                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #53

                                I am now.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • Z [email protected]

                                  I love that someone took time out of their day to carefully plan and prepare this chart.

                                  ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                  ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #54

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                                  2
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    What was causing it?

                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #55

                                    Cheap or processed red meat.
                                    Steaks, etc, are fine but stuff like cheap burgers or the packaged sliced meat from supermarkets are a no no.

                                    The tricky thing was I could have a cheap burger every day for a week and it would be ok. Or just one the next week and it felt like the world was falling out of my arsehole and mouth.

                                    In the end my doctor instructed me to go on a diet to eliminate different foods and drinks. A month with no caffeine, a month with no fried food, a month with no alcohol, etc etc. It was only when I got to the month of no red meat that it all stopped.

                                    I can still eat red meat but it needs to be good stuff. No mince, no 'beef' pizzas and so on.

                                    swedneck@discuss.tchncs.deS 1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
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                                      Z This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #56

                                      Now add rows and columns for:

                                      • cumming
                                      • vomiting
                                      • bleeding
                                      • menstruating
                                      • dying
                                      C T 2 Replies Last reply
                                      8
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        Then I don't see the problem in shitting during peeing.

                                        Q This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Q This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #57

                                        The problem is your bathroom timeline just changed. That's a face of consternation because a 1 minute excursion has turned into at least 5 minutes.

                                        S 1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • Z [email protected]

                                          Now add rows and columns for:

                                          • cumming
                                          • vomiting
                                          • bleeding
                                          • menstruating
                                          • dying
                                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #58

                                          And sneezing. Have you ever sneeze-sharted? Worst feeling ever

                                          swedneck@discuss.tchncs.deS 1 Reply Last reply
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