Age check!
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It’s honestly just who I am, I don’t understand moderation. I’m from the US and moved to Germany, and it’s exploited a lot less, which is nice, but I either give everything or nothing.
wrote last edited by [email protected]In a better world, being highly motivated to contribute to your neighborhood's well-being and improvement would result in... a nicer neighborhood with happier, healthier people living in it.
But now we're all just miners, digging up gold nuggets and hoping it means we get paid a fraction of their worth, with no regard to what this giant strip mine will do to the land we live in or our successors inherit.
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It’s honestly just who I am, I don’t understand moderation. I’m from the US and moved to Germany, and it’s exploited a lot less, which is nice, but I either give everything or nothing.
Do you manage to get by with English or have you learnt German?
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It is not automatically rewarded but most of the time. So I could either say in kindergarten or not yet.
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I had the good fortune to be influenced by the slackers of the preceding generation, so my plan was always to do the minimum amount of work and take on as little as possible.
Praise Bob Dobbs
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I'm 42 and it has worked out pretty well so far, honestly.
I joined the military, got good reviews (called "marks" for us), and tested well when I tried. Now I make good money, have the support of a lot of people in different departments and largely able to work on the projects I want, have gotten my #1 pick for station every time I have had to transfer, and will be retiring in 4 years with a bunch of ties to the community to keep me involved with things I enjoy after.
I get a lot of this is luck, and privilege (e.g. not everybody can join the military), and other factors. And regardless how hard I worked, many things ended up being popularity contests, so I missed some opportunties that way. But at no point did I feel like being nice and hardworking worked anything but in my own favor.
Somewhat similar for me. I get my choice of positions at work because I can do every single one better than most everyone else. I play nice(but not too nice) so they're willing to be flexible. Of course, sometimes management tries some shit, but that's what the union is for.
But overall, I get more hours (which I want) because I work hard, and the positions I want. I'm aware it's luck with my management team, but it's still great
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Half a year ago years old. I'm doing over 20 years in software engineering now. And apparently will have to repeat the lesson eventually.
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Career wise? The two metrics that matter is how well liked you are and how valuable you are perceived to be. Actually working hard and being nice can contribute to being well liked at work, and sometimes can increase one's own perceived value to the employer. But being nice and working hard aren't going to be rewarded in themselves.
I'm nice to people because it's the right thing to do. But it also has generally made me well liked my whole life. So I've never had trouble negotiating above-market pay for my jobs.
And I used to work hard when the situation called for it. Which isn't all situations. Most of my jobs had clients or customers, so doing right by them was usually more important to me than doing something right for the employer actually paying my salary.
But I also advocated for myself, made sure that a significant chunk of the "working hard" I did was towards actually documenting my value, or getting recognized for current contributions, and building my reputation for having the right skillsets and problem solving ability for future assignments.
Plus luck always plays a big role. Similarly situated workers at a booming/growing company paying out a bunch of bonuses, versus a failing company choosing which workers to lay off, are going to see very different results even if they're equally perceived. Much of my own success is simple luck of timing, right place/right time type stuff. If I were born 5 years earlier or 5 years later, or simply 500 miles away from my place of birth, I think I would've been struggling a lot more.
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I'm 42 and it has worked out pretty well so far, honestly.
I joined the military, got good reviews (called "marks" for us), and tested well when I tried. Now I make good money, have the support of a lot of people in different departments and largely able to work on the projects I want, have gotten my #1 pick for station every time I have had to transfer, and will be retiring in 4 years with a bunch of ties to the community to keep me involved with things I enjoy after.
I get a lot of this is luck, and privilege (e.g. not everybody can join the military), and other factors. And regardless how hard I worked, many things ended up being popularity contests, so I missed some opportunties that way. But at no point did I feel like being nice and hardworking worked anything but in my own favor.
Most work places aren't as socialized as the military, but your experience is still valid.
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I'm 42 and it has worked out pretty well so far, honestly.
I joined the military, got good reviews (called "marks" for us), and tested well when I tried. Now I make good money, have the support of a lot of people in different departments and largely able to work on the projects I want, have gotten my #1 pick for station every time I have had to transfer, and will be retiring in 4 years with a bunch of ties to the community to keep me involved with things I enjoy after.
I get a lot of this is luck, and privilege (e.g. not everybody can join the military), and other factors. And regardless how hard I worked, many things ended up being popularity contests, so I missed some opportunties that way. But at no point did I feel like being nice and hardworking worked anything but in my own favor.
Yeah, I don't know if it was my time in or what, but I came to the conclusion one day that we should just do a good job for the sake of doing a good job, and stop expecting people to fellate you for it. And I'm saying this having benefitted time and again from just doing a good job. There are times I did and times I didn't, but I'm at a point where I won't feel satisfied if I don't do it right. Maybe I'm just old now.
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Career wise? The two metrics that matter is how well liked you are and how valuable you are perceived to be. Actually working hard and being nice can contribute to being well liked at work, and sometimes can increase one's own perceived value to the employer. But being nice and working hard aren't going to be rewarded in themselves.
I'm nice to people because it's the right thing to do. But it also has generally made me well liked my whole life. So I've never had trouble negotiating above-market pay for my jobs.
And I used to work hard when the situation called for it. Which isn't all situations. Most of my jobs had clients or customers, so doing right by them was usually more important to me than doing something right for the employer actually paying my salary.
But I also advocated for myself, made sure that a significant chunk of the "working hard" I did was towards actually documenting my value, or getting recognized for current contributions, and building my reputation for having the right skillsets and problem solving ability for future assignments.
Plus luck always plays a big role. Similarly situated workers at a booming/growing company paying out a bunch of bonuses, versus a failing company choosing which workers to lay off, are going to see very different results even if they're equally perceived. Much of my own success is simple luck of timing, right place/right time type stuff. If I were born 5 years earlier or 5 years later, or simply 500 miles away from my place of birth, I think I would've been struggling a lot more.
This is a good take. There is also a fair bit of luck in physical and mental health, and having a good environment growing up where you can learn all of the skills that aren't taught in school. When I went through school the emphasis was on learning the facts and working hard... Neither of which are the top skills needed to make money.
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I’m not nice for someone else, I’m nice for myself. I like being nice to people, it makes me feel good, and that’s why I do it.
I’ve got a parent who’s incredibly selfish, narcissistic and evil. After processing the years of trauma he’s inflicted, I’ve realized all I want to be is a nice and genuine person. I want people to experience warmth and happiness, cause a life without it is not worth it.
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Mid-thirties. But I played it cool until I finished grad school. Then moved out to start my new life.
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I’m not nice for someone else, I’m nice for myself. I like being nice to people, it makes me feel good, and that’s why I do it.
I’ve got a parent who’s incredibly selfish, narcissistic and evil. After processing the years of trauma he’s inflicted, I’ve realized all I want to be is a nice and genuine person. I want people to experience warmth and happiness, cause a life without it is not worth it.
It's nice to be nice!
I don't even like being mean in roleplaying games lol
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40s. Very naive. Thought businesses cared about their employees. Now i realize they need little excuse snd milk the workers and never take a loss in favor of employees. Losses or lack of leadership ends up with golden parachutes and raising prices. Honesty is out the window in the world we live in today.
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don't know, I am still nice to people, want to work really hard and sometimes take more than enough work, But now I have clear boundaries & expectations, don't put up with some people's bullshit and plan well.
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Career wise? The two metrics that matter is how well liked you are and how valuable you are perceived to be. Actually working hard and being nice can contribute to being well liked at work, and sometimes can increase one's own perceived value to the employer. But being nice and working hard aren't going to be rewarded in themselves.
I'm nice to people because it's the right thing to do. But it also has generally made me well liked my whole life. So I've never had trouble negotiating above-market pay for my jobs.
And I used to work hard when the situation called for it. Which isn't all situations. Most of my jobs had clients or customers, so doing right by them was usually more important to me than doing something right for the employer actually paying my salary.
But I also advocated for myself, made sure that a significant chunk of the "working hard" I did was towards actually documenting my value, or getting recognized for current contributions, and building my reputation for having the right skillsets and problem solving ability for future assignments.
Plus luck always plays a big role. Similarly situated workers at a booming/growing company paying out a bunch of bonuses, versus a failing company choosing which workers to lay off, are going to see very different results even if they're equally perceived. Much of my own success is simple luck of timing, right place/right time type stuff. If I were born 5 years earlier or 5 years later, or simply 500 miles away from my place of birth, I think I would've been struggling a lot more.
Perception is so huge. Pre-pandemic, just looking around I assumed I was layoff-proof, but I got the axe anyway.
Last I heard there are two engineers and one manager sharing my old duties.
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- I was working 80-100 hour weeks and they refused to give me a raise or promote me.
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Middle-school. Not even joking. There are some really shitty people out there. Did a speed run of that life lesson.
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University. The expensive college wanted IT staff but only paid minimum wage and only hired people on financial aid.
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I was always told asking makes you seem entitled and you should do the work without complaint. Now I believe that yeah I am entitled to something. Still don’t say though and just grumble under my breath
