Age check!
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Career wise? The two metrics that matter is how well liked you are and how valuable you are perceived to be. Actually working hard and being nice can contribute to being well liked at work, and sometimes can increase one's own perceived value to the employer. But being nice and working hard aren't going to be rewarded in themselves.
I'm nice to people because it's the right thing to do. But it also has generally made me well liked my whole life. So I've never had trouble negotiating above-market pay for my jobs.
And I used to work hard when the situation called for it. Which isn't all situations. Most of my jobs had clients or customers, so doing right by them was usually more important to me than doing something right for the employer actually paying my salary.
But I also advocated for myself, made sure that a significant chunk of the "working hard" I did was towards actually documenting my value, or getting recognized for current contributions, and building my reputation for having the right skillsets and problem solving ability for future assignments.
Plus luck always plays a big role. Similarly situated workers at a booming/growing company paying out a bunch of bonuses, versus a failing company choosing which workers to lay off, are going to see very different results even if they're equally perceived. Much of my own success is simple luck of timing, right place/right time type stuff. If I were born 5 years earlier or 5 years later, or simply 500 miles away from my place of birth, I think I would've been struggling a lot more.
This is a good take. There is also a fair bit of luck in physical and mental health, and having a good environment growing up where you can learn all of the skills that aren't taught in school. When I went through school the emphasis was on learning the facts and working hard... Neither of which are the top skills needed to make money.
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I’m not nice for someone else, I’m nice for myself. I like being nice to people, it makes me feel good, and that’s why I do it.
I’ve got a parent who’s incredibly selfish, narcissistic and evil. After processing the years of trauma he’s inflicted, I’ve realized all I want to be is a nice and genuine person. I want people to experience warmth and happiness, cause a life without it is not worth it.
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Mid-thirties. But I played it cool until I finished grad school. Then moved out to start my new life.
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I’m not nice for someone else, I’m nice for myself. I like being nice to people, it makes me feel good, and that’s why I do it.
I’ve got a parent who’s incredibly selfish, narcissistic and evil. After processing the years of trauma he’s inflicted, I’ve realized all I want to be is a nice and genuine person. I want people to experience warmth and happiness, cause a life without it is not worth it.
It's nice to be nice!
I don't even like being mean in roleplaying games lol
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40s. Very naive. Thought businesses cared about their employees. Now i realize they need little excuse snd milk the workers and never take a loss in favor of employees. Losses or lack of leadership ends up with golden parachutes and raising prices. Honesty is out the window in the world we live in today.
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don't know, I am still nice to people, want to work really hard and sometimes take more than enough work, But now I have clear boundaries & expectations, don't put up with some people's bullshit and plan well.
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Career wise? The two metrics that matter is how well liked you are and how valuable you are perceived to be. Actually working hard and being nice can contribute to being well liked at work, and sometimes can increase one's own perceived value to the employer. But being nice and working hard aren't going to be rewarded in themselves.
I'm nice to people because it's the right thing to do. But it also has generally made me well liked my whole life. So I've never had trouble negotiating above-market pay for my jobs.
And I used to work hard when the situation called for it. Which isn't all situations. Most of my jobs had clients or customers, so doing right by them was usually more important to me than doing something right for the employer actually paying my salary.
But I also advocated for myself, made sure that a significant chunk of the "working hard" I did was towards actually documenting my value, or getting recognized for current contributions, and building my reputation for having the right skillsets and problem solving ability for future assignments.
Plus luck always plays a big role. Similarly situated workers at a booming/growing company paying out a bunch of bonuses, versus a failing company choosing which workers to lay off, are going to see very different results even if they're equally perceived. Much of my own success is simple luck of timing, right place/right time type stuff. If I were born 5 years earlier or 5 years later, or simply 500 miles away from my place of birth, I think I would've been struggling a lot more.
Perception is so huge. Pre-pandemic, just looking around I assumed I was layoff-proof, but I got the axe anyway.
Last I heard there are two engineers and one manager sharing my old duties.
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- I was working 80-100 hour weeks and they refused to give me a raise or promote me.
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Middle-school. Not even joking. There are some really shitty people out there. Did a speed run of that life lesson.
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University. The expensive college wanted IT staff but only paid minimum wage and only hired people on financial aid.
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I was always told asking makes you seem entitled and you should do the work without complaint. Now I believe that yeah I am entitled to something. Still don’t say though and just grumble under my breath
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I was always told asking makes you seem entitled and you should do the work without complaint. Now I believe that yeah I am entitled to something. Still don’t say though and just grumble under my breath
insight is the first step to progress. congratulations
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40s. Very naive. Thought businesses cared about their employees. Now i realize they need little excuse snd milk the workers and never take a loss in favor of employees. Losses or lack of leadership ends up with golden parachutes and raising prices. Honesty is out the window in the world we live in today.
Honesty is out the window in the world we live in today
be the change you want to see in the world
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It's nice to be nice!
I don't even like being mean in roleplaying games lol
aren't we all roleplaying in the stage that is real life?
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30ish. Working for a company that wouldn't let me move to their QA department because they "needed me more where I was" even though the manager of QA wanted me. The QA department didn't have anyone that knew how my department worked so they had never done any QA checks on us. Would have been a pay bump and no after hours support rotation. I got another job and they asked what they could do to avoid my leaving, and I said if they had done it then I wouldn't be leaving.
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Um, I began falling apart about 11 years ago, but it got really bad over the past few years. I can specifically remember being in therapy over the holidays and coming to this exact realization. Like, I knew it before that, but that was the day that I, like, really felt it. I'm in my early forties.
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People like that will do shit like that and then genuinely think "I thought them a valuable lesson." Like... no, arsehole, you just traumatised a kid for absolutely no reason and taught them that hard work doesn't pay.
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Do you manage to get by with English or have you learnt German?
I’d already learned German, but I did begin as an adult and I’ve got C2 German, so it’s not impossible.
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I was really fortunate to be raised by parents who knew that was bullshit brainwash propaganda. Thanks mom and dad! You aren't perfect but hey nobody is. Love you both!
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It’s cute that she thinks I ever had a plan.
