HR people smiling at you thinking that you are a complete moron
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In outside sales so everyone is working remote. I get an email around 7PM that we are going to have a meeting tomorrow (on line of course) at 3PM. I had heard that a big layoff was coming. But why a call at 3PM instead of first thing in the morning if I was going to get laid off. Later that evening I get calls from friends about the 10AM meeting. I told them I never got a message about it, but I did about a 3PM meeting.
What they did was all the people they were laying off were on the 10AM meeting. It was half the total sales force. at the 3PM meeting for the survivors, they explained to us what was going on.
This just happened a month or so ago at my place of employment... except there were no invites. No meetings. It went more like
9am: Hey, where did my chat with so and so go? Friggin teams...
11am: Now the other one is missing? Wtf?
1pm: Outside TM: Hey... dumb question, but do you have as many people on your team as you did yesterday?
Email Invite for 1:30PM has entered the chat
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You should have kept the Mac, seriously. I often had no response trying to get laptops back from employees and was asking HR if we couldn't get a form for new hires to sign regarding company equipment returns. Can't remember the reasoning but HR told me the company is basically powerless to force the issue. In any case, the legal costs of suing you would quickly stack higher than $7K.
Sure, I'll gladly send the laptop back, you'll just have to pay my hourly freelance rate for the labor involved. My rate is $240,000/hr, I'll have it shipped out within 30 business days of payment. Alternatively, feel free to send a courier for pickup, my current address is 189 Beaker St, McMurdo Station, Antarctica.
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Where the fuck do y'all work that your HR "rep" looks like Anne Hathaway? Every company I worked for had a lady that looked like she retired after thirty years of proctoring detentions at a public highschool.
Everyone in HR at my current company is hot. It almost seems like a prerequisite.
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You should have kept the Mac, seriously. I often had no response trying to get laptops back from employees and was asking HR if we couldn't get a form for new hires to sign regarding company equipment returns. Can't remember the reasoning but HR told me the company is basically powerless to force the issue. In any case, the legal costs of suing you would quickly stack higher than $7K.
Yeah but they would hold back the severance pay until they received the laptop, they have done this before lol
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It would be nice to get some time in advance as notice. Like Trump get 4 years as he can't be fired for some unknown reason even though he has and is still doing illegal things(tarifs without kongress approval etc.)...
Apparently being a child fucker isn’t a reason to get fired either
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Do they get special training on how to lie with a straight face?
It's a prerequisite to get the job in the first place.
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Well at least its suspect enough to prepare :). I once came in at 9am and we had random people funneling everyone into a conference room with HR people to tell us our department would no longer be needed.
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Well at least its suspect enough to prepare :). I once came in at 9am and we had random people funneling everyone into a conference room with HR people to tell us our department would no longer be needed.
This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.
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She looks like a whitewashed Victoria Newman from the boys.
She looks like she married the founder of WeWork
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Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.
I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.
I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.
I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.
I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.
As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.
The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.
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This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.
Damn Europoors hating their (HR departments') freedoms.
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You should have kept the Mac, seriously. I often had no response trying to get laptops back from employees and was asking HR if we couldn't get a form for new hires to sign regarding company equipment returns. Can't remember the reasoning but HR told me the company is basically powerless to force the issue. In any case, the legal costs of suing you would quickly stack higher than $7K.
Can't they just file a police report suggesting you stole it? It's the government's job then and since the police barely have to investigate anything they are sure to actually do something. That's a quick way to get a search warrant filed.
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Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.
I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.
I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.
I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.
I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.
As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.
The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.
I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you win your lawsuit. Fuck those goddamn bastards.
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Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.
I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.
I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.
I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.
I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.
As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.
The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.
If a corporation asks you to take one for the team, don't. "The team" will never take one for you.
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Never bought a Mac before, but what the hell are the specs in a $7k Macbook? I didn't think they went over $3k.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I've never priced one that high, but I'd suspect 16" screen and multi-TB nvme are the main culprits.
e: I was curious so I went and priced one. $7.3k for the 16" Pro with absolutely every bell and whistle. M4 Max 16/40 core, 128GB RAM, 8TB. It's a beast but holy shit that price tag…
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I had a meeting with plenty of important people tagged in, yet somehow I didn't think much, if anything, of it. Like it's just a meeting. Which it was. A meeting to inform me I was to be let go of the company. The possibility of that only occurred to me, I think, when prompted to think about it, on another meeting I had right before that one. That's right, two meetings back to back. Yet I was clueless…
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This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.
Not just Europe, Aussie here. I got the ol' covid chuck and between lack of notice, untaken leave and long service leave (had been there over 8 years) it cost them $58,000
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I've never priced one that high, but I'd suspect 16" screen and multi-TB nvme are the main culprits.
e: I was curious so I went and priced one. $7.3k for the 16" Pro with absolutely every bell and whistle. M4 Max 16/40 core, 128GB RAM, 8TB. It's a beast but holy shit that price tag…
Yeah I had that one, absolute beast would never buy that for myself but would have loved to keep it
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Yeah this matches my experience. HR person is always the one to have a bottle of whisky squirreled away for a good time.
I've been let go twice. It's shitty, but I realise they have very little power in a situation like that.
This is why I have so far refused to be a people manager. I'm not going to be able to emotionally handle laying someone off.
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Haha I tried that one, because I was legitimately too swamped and management got very upset.
And then?
