Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. HR people smiling at you thinking that you are a complete moron

HR people smiling at you thinking that you are a complete moron

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
142 Posts 92 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • jomiran@lemmy.mlJ [email protected]

    Where the fuck do y'all work that your HR "rep" looks like Anne Hathaway? Every company I worked for had a lady that looked like she retired after thirty years of proctoring detentions at a public highschool.

    gladiusb@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
    gladiusb@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #44

    Everyone in HR at my current company is hot. It almost seems like a prerequisite.

    thebat@lemmy.worldT icastfist@programming.devI 2 Replies Last reply
    2
    • S [email protected]

      You should have kept the Mac, seriously. I often had no response trying to get laptops back from employees and was asking HR if we couldn't get a form for new hires to sign regarding company equipment returns. Can't remember the reasoning but HR told me the company is basically powerless to force the issue. In any case, the legal costs of suing you would quickly stack higher than $7K.

      B This user is from outside of this forum
      B This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #45

      Yeah but they would hold back the severance pay until they received the laptop, they have done this before lol

      1 Reply Last reply
      5
      • M [email protected]

        It would be nice to get some time in advance as notice. Like Trump get 4 years as he can't be fired for some unknown reason even though he has and is still doing illegal things(tarifs without kongress approval etc.)...

        B This user is from outside of this forum
        B This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #46

        Apparently being a child fucker isn’t a reason to get fired either

        1 Reply Last reply
        3
        • M [email protected]

          Do they get special training on how to lie with a straight face?

          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #47

          It's a prerequisite to get the job in the first place.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • M [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            P This user is from outside of this forum
            P This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #48

            Well at least its suspect enough to prepare :). I once came in at 9am and we had random people funneling everyone into a conference room with HR people to tell us our department would no longer be needed.

            K 1 Reply Last reply
            8
            • P [email protected]

              Well at least its suspect enough to prepare :). I once came in at 9am and we had random people funneling everyone into a conference room with HR people to tell us our department would no longer be needed.

              K This user is from outside of this forum
              K This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #49

              This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.

              luccus@feddit.orgL T 0 3 Replies Last reply
              19
              • gmtom@lemmy.worldG [email protected]

                She looks like a whitewashed Victoria Newman from the boys.

                K This user is from outside of this forum
                K This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #50

                She looks like she married the founder of WeWork

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • M [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  A This user is from outside of this forum
                  A This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #51

                  Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.

                  I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.

                  I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.

                  I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.

                  I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.

                  As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.

                  The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.

                  daggermoon@lemmy.worldD B T 3 Replies Last reply
                  59
                  • K [email protected]

                    This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.

                    luccus@feddit.orgL This user is from outside of this forum
                    luccus@feddit.orgL This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #52

                    Damn Europoors hating their (HR departments') freedoms.

                    H 1 Reply Last reply
                    4
                    • S [email protected]

                      You should have kept the Mac, seriously. I often had no response trying to get laptops back from employees and was asking HR if we couldn't get a form for new hires to sign regarding company equipment returns. Can't remember the reasoning but HR told me the company is basically powerless to force the issue. In any case, the legal costs of suing you would quickly stack higher than $7K.

                      Y This user is from outside of this forum
                      Y This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #53

                      Can't they just file a police report suggesting you stole it? It's the government's job then and since the police barely have to investigate anything they are sure to actually do something. That's a quick way to get a search warrant filed.

                      mirthfulalembic@lemmy.worldM 1 Reply Last reply
                      5
                      • A [email protected]

                        Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.

                        I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.

                        I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.

                        I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.

                        I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.

                        As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.

                        The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.

                        daggermoon@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                        daggermoon@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #54

                        I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you win your lawsuit. Fuck those goddamn bastards.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        14
                        • A [email protected]

                          Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.

                          I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.

                          I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.

                          I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.

                          I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.

                          As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.

                          The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.

                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #55

                          If a corporation asks you to take one for the team, don't. "The team" will never take one for you.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          27
                          • M [email protected]

                            Never bought a Mac before, but what the hell are the specs in a $7k Macbook? I didn't think they went over $3k.

                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by [email protected]
                            #56

                            I've never priced one that high, but I'd suspect 16" screen and multi-TB nvme are the main culprits.

                            e: I was curious so I went and priced one. $7.3k for the 16" Pro with absolutely every bell and whistle. M4 Max 16/40 core, 128GB RAM, 8TB. It's a beast but holy shit that price tag…

                            B 1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • M [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              L This user is from outside of this forum
                              L This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #57

                              I had a meeting with plenty of important people tagged in, yet somehow I didn't think much, if anything, of it. Like it's just a meeting. Which it was. A meeting to inform me I was to be let go of the company. The possibility of that only occurred to me, I think, when prompted to think about it, on another meeting I had right before that one. That's right, two meetings back to back. Yet I was clueless…

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              16
                              • K [email protected]

                                This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.

                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                T This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #58

                                Not just Europe, Aussie here. I got the ol' covid chuck and between lack of notice, untaken leave and long service leave (had been there over 8 years) it cost them $58,000

                                C 1 Reply Last reply
                                7
                                • B [email protected]

                                  I've never priced one that high, but I'd suspect 16" screen and multi-TB nvme are the main culprits.

                                  e: I was curious so I went and priced one. $7.3k for the 16" Pro with absolutely every bell and whistle. M4 Max 16/40 core, 128GB RAM, 8TB. It's a beast but holy shit that price tag…

                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #59

                                  Yeah I had that one, absolute beast would never buy that for myself but would have loved to keep it

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • grrgyle@slrpnk.netG [email protected]

                                    Yeah this matches my experience. HR person is always the one to have a bottle of whisky squirreled away for a good time.

                                    I've been let go twice. It's shitty, but I realise they have very little power in a situation like that.

                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #60

                                    This is why I have so far refused to be a people manager. I'm not going to be able to emotionally handle laying someone off.

                                    grrgyle@slrpnk.netG 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • grrgyle@slrpnk.netG [email protected]

                                      Haha I tried that one, because I was legitimately too swamped and management got very upset.

                                      thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #61

                                      And then?

                                      grrgyle@slrpnk.netG 1 Reply Last reply
                                      4
                                      • magister@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                                        In my previous company, at about 9PM, about half the company got an invite for a 9AM meeting, and the other half for a 10AM meeting, we saw all the name in our invite of course. Let's say the evening was hard, to guess which group was staying and which group was fired! I was in the "stay" group, this repeated every quarter and after 3 or 4 quarters it was my turn to be in the fire group, the next quarter they closed the company and fired the remaining employees.

                                        The HR lady was like the picture.

                                        thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #62

                                        She looked like Anne Hathaway?😯

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • gladiusb@lemmy.worldG [email protected]

                                          Everyone in HR at my current company is hot. It almost seems like a prerequisite.

                                          thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #63

                                          Did you get lucky with any of them? 😏

                                          W 1 Reply Last reply
                                          1
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups