HR people smiling at you thinking that you are a complete moron
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Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.
I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.
I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.
I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.
I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.
As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.
The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.
I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you win your lawsuit. Fuck those goddamn bastards.
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Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.
I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.
I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.
I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.
I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.
As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.
The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.
If a corporation asks you to take one for the team, don't. "The team" will never take one for you.
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Never bought a Mac before, but what the hell are the specs in a $7k Macbook? I didn't think they went over $3k.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I've never priced one that high, but I'd suspect 16" screen and multi-TB nvme are the main culprits.
e: I was curious so I went and priced one. $7.3k for the 16" Pro with absolutely every bell and whistle. M4 Max 16/40 core, 128GB RAM, 8TB. It's a beast but holy shit that price tag…
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I had a meeting with plenty of important people tagged in, yet somehow I didn't think much, if anything, of it. Like it's just a meeting. Which it was. A meeting to inform me I was to be let go of the company. The possibility of that only occurred to me, I think, when prompted to think about it, on another meeting I had right before that one. That's right, two meetings back to back. Yet I was clueless…
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This is why Europe is awesome, if they do that here they owe you like 3-6 months of salary.
Not just Europe, Aussie here. I got the ol' covid chuck and between lack of notice, untaken leave and long service leave (had been there over 8 years) it cost them $58,000
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I've never priced one that high, but I'd suspect 16" screen and multi-TB nvme are the main culprits.
e: I was curious so I went and priced one. $7.3k for the 16" Pro with absolutely every bell and whistle. M4 Max 16/40 core, 128GB RAM, 8TB. It's a beast but holy shit that price tag…
Yeah I had that one, absolute beast would never buy that for myself but would have loved to keep it
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Yeah this matches my experience. HR person is always the one to have a bottle of whisky squirreled away for a good time.
I've been let go twice. It's shitty, but I realise they have very little power in a situation like that.
This is why I have so far refused to be a people manager. I'm not going to be able to emotionally handle laying someone off.
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Haha I tried that one, because I was legitimately too swamped and management got very upset.
And then?
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In my previous company, at about 9PM, about half the company got an invite for a 9AM meeting, and the other half for a 10AM meeting, we saw all the name in our invite of course. Let's say the evening was hard, to guess which group was staying and which group was fired! I was in the "stay" group, this repeated every quarter and after 3 or 4 quarters it was my turn to be in the fire group, the next quarter they closed the company and fired the remaining employees.
The HR lady was like the picture.
She looked like Anne Hathaway?
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Everyone in HR at my current company is hot. It almost seems like a prerequisite.
Did you get lucky with any of them?
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Finally no longer having to work
It's really been the absolute worst thing in life
after "being a kid"
and "going to school"I know the setup is that if you don't job hard enough
then something even worse is coming up
living in the streets, which is illegal
then living in the man made hell
called prison, which is just another kind of schoolBut this time, by seeing it coming,
turns out there's a way to opt out of the bad bits ! -
Gather round and attend my layoff time tale of woe.
I worked for this company for four years. They fell on hard times and, in place of layoffs, required employees to temporarily give up a portion of their salary on the condition it would be repaid within 2 years with interest, plus increased bonuses proportional with how much you sacrificed. I voluntarily gave up 20% as the company had never had a layoff in its history (no layoffs was part of their alleged culture) and all the old timers gushed about their massive bonuses after downturns like these.
I was given my quarterly review in October and I get a perfect score. I work three weeks, then am badly hurt on the job. It requires fairly major surgery, so I'm out for almost two months.
I literally limp back, probably a little too early. The first day is fine and I'm getting back up to speed. Boss shows appreciation to my dedication as I reasonably could have taken more time to recuperate. I tell her I need to discuss accommodations as I'm still healing. She agrees and sets an appointment for the next morning. Great job HamSandwich, everyone loves you.
I arrive to the accommodation meeting to find the head of HR and my boss. I figure HR is there to help with accomodations. Nope, I'm being terminated. For performance. Huh. I ask about my stellar review. My boss tells me there were issues. I ask about the issues. She is unable to give me any examples. I ask how I was supposed to know I had performance issues when I had a perfect review three work weeks ago and no one can tell me what I've been doing wrong. HR boss bitch pipes in with "Ham, at your seniority level you should just know." Fuck you, boss bitch. Fuck you.
As I'm packing up my things, I realize they cut me one day before my yearly stock shares were to be awarded. Security walks me out and tells me I'm one of many senior level employees being terminated. People are being fired for showing up five minutes late. Upper level admins are walking out in protest. It appears this was the strategy: bank on the company's good reputation to encourage increased voluntary salary cuts, then dump as many high earners as possible if still in a downturn. My boss is a spineless twerp and went along with it. She lies and tells the rest of the department I was terminated for sleeping on the job. Fuck you, boss. Fuck you.
The company had its first round of layoffs a few months later. Those employees also lost the money they gave up. The company's reputation is irreparably harmed and I'm currently suing them for lost wages.
Name and shame! That sounds like a horrid experience.
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Not just Europe, Aussie here. I got the ol' covid chuck and between lack of notice, untaken leave and long service leave (had been there over 8 years) it cost them $58,000
CANT YOU SEE HOW FREE WE ARE?!
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This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
I remember years and years ago when I still a regular employee I got into work one morning to find I no longer had access to any git repos. nothing. Well already knew the reason right then and there. I usually got in before everyone else so by the time people were coming into the office I was packing my stuff up to leave. People were all "where are you going?" I said "well I either got fired or laid off so I'm leaving, I'm not sitting through a bullshit meeting telling me why I was laid off"
wiped the laptop, wiped my externals, walked out, went and sat in a coffee shop to revise my resume. I got a call like an hour later asking me where I was and why I didn't attend the meeting I was apparently schedule for. I replied with "you laid me off" few minutes later they email me back saying they'll just send my ROE and last paycheque in the mail and then proceeded to explain why I and a few other devs were laid off. I didn't bother reading the rest of it.
Then I decided to become a freelancer and never looked back. best decision I made.
What REALLY annoyed me about the whole thing was I thought I was good friends with the IT guy that set up access to everything, he was the one that revoked my access the night before and didn't tell me. I was literally having a beer with him that night and he never said a word. out of everything that hurt the most. never spoke to him again.
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Everyone in HR at my current company is hot. It almost seems like a prerequisite.
It probably reduces the chance of male workers telling them to fuck off. Or the higher ups hire those so they can sexually harass them
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The two or three juniors they'll eventually have to hire to do the job
Or throw AI at it, because that will work super well
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Did you get lucky with any of them?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Christ... And people rail against claims that there's sexism in [any_industry]
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I remember years and years ago when I still a regular employee I got into work one morning to find I no longer had access to any git repos. nothing. Well already knew the reason right then and there. I usually got in before everyone else so by the time people were coming into the office I was packing my stuff up to leave. People were all "where are you going?" I said "well I either got fired or laid off so I'm leaving, I'm not sitting through a bullshit meeting telling me why I was laid off"
wiped the laptop, wiped my externals, walked out, went and sat in a coffee shop to revise my resume. I got a call like an hour later asking me where I was and why I didn't attend the meeting I was apparently schedule for. I replied with "you laid me off" few minutes later they email me back saying they'll just send my ROE and last paycheque in the mail and then proceeded to explain why I and a few other devs were laid off. I didn't bother reading the rest of it.
Then I decided to become a freelancer and never looked back. best decision I made.
What REALLY annoyed me about the whole thing was I thought I was good friends with the IT guy that set up access to everything, he was the one that revoked my access the night before and didn't tell me. I was literally having a beer with him that night and he never said a word. out of everything that hurt the most. never spoke to him again.
Great story on how you handled it. And totally agree with you on the IT guy. What a douche that he just couldn't give you a heads up.
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Name and shame! That sounds like a horrid experience.
Ah yes, shaming shameless corp always works
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The only good thing about getting laid off is 1) you can at least collect unemployment 2) It's easier to get another job because you weren't simply fired
