Get. Off. The. Plane.
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
One other thing is that the people should allow other people who are already ready to walk out pass them before standing and taking out their carry-on. Most times I've seen all passanger wait for each row taking out their carry-ons sequentially instead of 10 taking them out at the same time. If everyone would be me with a carry-on it'd take around 5-10m since I only take the aisle when I'm ready to leave and/or there is another person taking out their carry-on in front or behind me.
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I just assume that deplaning is not happening until people 2 rows ahead stand up to grab their carryons. Everything before that is part of the flight experience.
Zero stress.
wrote last edited by [email protected]It's remarkable how many people in these comments detest people wanting to have a chill time when flying.
We're not slowing the rest of you down - we're getting out of your way. There's so many moving parts that an extra five minutes are so far down the list of things that I'm just not fussed.
Trains are a bit different - there rushing can make all the difference. The limiting factors there are usually how quickly one can get between platforms!
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
May the odds ever be in your favour!
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Simple question to find out, how much space is there between you and the person in front when you leave the plane?
I try to chill in my window seat and wait for one of the big gaps to open up, then I flip into the aisle, Scorpion my carry-on ("Get over here!"), and rush past the flight attendants to get stuck behind everybody else still meandering up the jetway.
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I try to chill in my window seat and wait for one of the big gaps to open up, then I flip into the aisle, Scorpion my carry-on ("Get over here!"), and rush past the flight attendants to get stuck behind everybody else still meandering up the jetway.
I don't fly often enough to have a strategy, it's terrible for the environment.
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This is the way to think about it. Maybe a little less condescending, but que sera. I do everything I can to be on time, and I'm early 99% of the time, and so if shit happens and I'm caused to be late, through either my own fault or that of others, que sera. I'll notify whoever needs notifying and just go along.
Shit happens. And shit compounds shit. I refuse to stress over it and make everything worse.
Seconded
why stress out over missed flights - if it's the airlines fault, they will also rebook you & get you a hotel if needed. Happens... -
(Source: TikTok video)
Except the 1st one of you would stop and convince the 2nd one of you to suck his dick before the 200 become 1 again after deboarding, thereby delaying all the other 198 too, by about 30 more seconds.
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I feel like I'm going crazy here with so many comments insisting the fastest way is to wait for everyone in front of them to go first. I could hardly engineer a slower way to go about it
Shortly after pandemic I was on a couple of flights where they would make people leave in 5 row groups starting from the front. I saw one or two flights where people actually understood the instructions and everyone just stayed seated waiting for their turn. Then 5 rows would get up and leave. Then the next 5. It went very smoothly. I didn't time it but it looked faster than the usual way.
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I’m the exact opposite. I get annoyed when everyone springs up at the same time, as if rushing into the aisle will get them off the plane faster. Last time I flew, I had an aisle seat. I stayed seated while everyone lined up in the aisle. Meanwhile, the asshole in the window seat sprang up, and looked at me expectantly.
I had to be like “uhh bro the aisle is already full. Where do you expect me to go? Sit your happy ass back down and wait for the line to start moving.” Even worse, I knew his bag was behind us, so he’d have to push everyone in the aisle backwards in order to get to it. No, you can fucking sit there and wait your turn, like you were taught in kindergarten.
as if rushing into the aisle will get them off the plane faster
No, as if it's more comfortable to stand after sitting for hours on end. Also, being ready to move with your bag would undoubtedly help.
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The moment the seatbelt sign goes off, a bunch of people always stand in the aisle, even though the exit door won’t open for several minutes and even though several of them are a dozen rows from their belongings.
They can’t deboard yet, and are only making themselves an impediment, so those in forward rows can’t even try to access the bins. In this photo, like on most flights, the majority of people in the forward seats can’t stand, because the aisle is filled with people who can’t deboard yet, likely because the door hasn’t opened yet.
This saves the bargers at best 30 seconds at the expense of everyone else forward in the plane, and it’s very rude.
The problem is obviously that the people moved forward, not that they're standing... Standing/stretching makes total sense from every angle. It confuses me greatly how many people in the thread are mad that people stand up.
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(Source: TikTok video)
Most off that time is standing still, while the L1 door is still closed, and the jetway has not even begun to move to connect to the aircraft.
People don't realise that once the plane is parked, engines are shut down and belt signs go off, there's still shit to do before deplaning can begin.
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One other thing is that the people should allow other people who are already ready to walk out pass them before standing and taking out their carry-on. Most times I've seen all passanger wait for each row taking out their carry-ons sequentially instead of 10 taking them out at the same time. If everyone would be me with a carry-on it'd take around 5-10m since I only take the aisle when I'm ready to leave and/or there is another person taking out their carry-on in front or behind me.
So the correct way to do it is for people like you to skip the line? People who get up and move forward make me want to go postal. They exude "fuck everyone" energy and they think the fact that I stayed seated a few extra seconds is their invitation to skip line. Fuck that.
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Just stay seated. You're going to wait for the luggage anyway.
If you're smart you did everything in your power not to check a bag, so nope. And no I'm not staying seated. I'm stretching and I'm going to be ready. Such a confusing thread.
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This is the same line of thinking as, "if everyone drove like me, there'd be no traffic," (a phrase used exclusively by terrible drivers).
Project much?
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What's the hurry to stand up, especially if there's a bus that waits for everyone or if needs to wait the luggage
Just enjoy seating down
I get pissed when they turn off the entertainment system immediately after landing
Just enjoy seating down
Turns out, after sitting for hours, sitting is the thing that is least enjoyable in the history of humanity
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At the risk of sounding boomer despite not being boomer, have others noted a decline in basic decency with deplaning? In the past maybe two years or so even I've never seen so many people from the back of the plane rush ahead into the aisle blocking people in front of them from getting out and disrupting the hell out of the standard row by row front to back organized way to get off a plane. Last. Flight I took when I got into the tunnel some lunatic behind me tried to trample me, stepped on the heel of my shoe and ripped my shoe off. Not even a "sorry"
Modern air travel is the epitome of enshitification.I saw someone itt say that it speeds up deplaning for them to rush to the front like you're saying.
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I saw someone itt say that it speeds up deplaning for them to rush to the front like you're saying.
It likely does. The chaotic bumrush wouldn't be permitted by the airlines if it didn't work. The sense of panic in promotes is probably good for deplaning averages.
Like so many things that are good for corporations, it's very damn unpleasant for customers. -
(Source: TikTok video)
wrote last edited by [email protected]I have kids now so some of this applies less but!
I totally agree with you. I don't usually have a checked bag when it's just me, so there's no waiting around the baggage claim to look forward to. I DO NOT stop to pull my overhead bag. I've either got it under my seat, already pulled it from the overhead, or I fuckin eyeball that thing like there's about to be a missile intercept (because there is) and I grab and pull while I walk. Once I leave my seat there is no pause. In the same way, if I'm inside on the window, I'm watching for space and when middle seat moves I follow. None of this "oh shit I forgot the light turned green".
Even now with kids we are only slightly slower than that. I have to let the gremlins (who you probably didn't know were on the plane because they've been hyper entertained out of their fuckin minds) be line leader to walk off the plane and I need enough time to stand up and get the bags off the seat behind me onto my body to urban pack mule that shit out of here.
What I'm NOT doing is texting my boyfriend oblivious to the cues being presented to me, smashing through the line because I'm an inconsiderate fuckwit, or standing up when it's my turn and gazing into the overheads like I'm lost in the Arby's menu. Stage your shit and get the fuck off the plane without stopping, then walk like you got some place to be or move to the side. No big deal.
More importantly than any of that though, I've got this really weird superpower where I can listen to what the fuck the FAs say. If someone needs to get off the plane first, I can stay seated and wait for them to haul ass off the plane. Or at least I would, except it's always like a herd of cattle with no awareness instantly reacting to the sound of the seatbelt light turning off no matter what.
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If you're smart you did everything in your power not to check a bag, so nope. And no I'm not staying seated. I'm stretching and I'm going to be ready. Such a confusing thread.
wrote last edited by [email protected]You had the entire flight to walk to the pisser and back to your seat for as many times as you wish, but now , exactly at the last and most annoying moment, you absolutely can't sit down for 5 fucking minutes? The door will open at the same time.
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You had the entire flight to walk to the pisser and back to your seat for as many times as you wish, but now , exactly at the last and most annoying moment, you absolutely can't sit down for 5 fucking minutes? The door will open at the same time.
You have no idea what opportunity I had, not that it matters. I want to stretch and I have zero idea why it bothers you or anyone else here declaring it a crime.
