How old is too old to have kids, in your opinion?
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Dude, that sounds wealthy beyond most people's dreams.
We're really not.
We live in a regional area, so the math is different.
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
You didn't ask for it, but my advice is not to have kids, at any age.
Life is so short, and you'll never have enough time to do everything you want before you're too old to.
So why burden yourself with a kid(s)?
That assumes the kid(s) is totally healthy and doesn't grow up to be an asshole, addict, or troublemaker.
But if your kid(s) ends up with health problems, intellectually slow, or has nightmare behaviour problems, you'll hate living the rest of your life. Then you'll resent them, which would suck for everyone.
And at your husband's age, you'll be doing it all alone. And in 20 years, you'll likely be caring for your husband, so there's no life, even after this kid(s) becomes an adult.
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You can freeze eggs. Checkmate!!
I hope that's a joke, but if not...women freezing eggs have sometimes encountered huge, huge problems. Huge financial problems, a quick search says 10-15K & often reaching 20K per egg freezing, retrieval procedure. Then $800/yr storage. Then costs for thawing & use. Tbf I see some lower quotes from New Hope but it's best to overestimate these costs & be pleasantly surprised when they're lower.
Freezing of eggs doesn't guarantee a successful pregnancy or healthy/live baby. A woman boldly wrote a piece called 'Freeze your eggs, free your career' and experienced a terrible, across the board dozen egg failure. At least she had the humility to share her story with the world, so they can see & learn from it. Takes a big person to admit maybe they were wrong.
I advise all wannabe future parents in their 20s to get to fucking. I don't personally advise having children, but obviously 20s are peak time if you can swing it. Biologically. It's not going to get any better.
I am immensely grateful for the egg freezing technology, how you can use it to cheat the infertility of cancer treatments, other bad medical conditions. But it's still a poor substitute for nature's plan, no guarantees, and I don't think it needs to be used by all women everywhere.
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
Had kids at 36 and 37. Feel this was a good age, as I’d done my adventuring and world exploring, and now they’re young teens and I’m in my 50’s. I’d be hesitant to have a kid now, as the sleepless nights of the first few years would hit really hard.
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
Health issues due to paternal age are a lot more difficult to do genetic testing for compared to issues tied to maternal age. If planning to use his sperm, consider speaking with a genetic counselor and have some serious conversations about what it looks like if you have a baby with certain health issues.
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I'm biased. 42 when we had our first kids, twins.
Depends on your guy and your circumstances.
Being more settled (having more money) as an older parent is a huge advantage.
I had 6 months off work during our pregnancy just to do all the things (complex pregnancy). My partner hasn't worked since she fell pregnant.
We had 2 au pairs for the first 6 months to help out.
I just generally have more dad time than other guys. For example, i almost always drop our kids at day care and pick them up after, on my e-bike. I very, very rarely see any other dads there. At fathers day afternoon tea there were me and 2 other dads...
We've recently made down payments on an apartment for each of them. They will be paid off by the time they're ready for uni.
We're not wealthy, just more settled in our 40s.
Other dads in their 20s might have more hair than me and I'm sure some dads are just cooler than me, but I dont think there's any real risk my kids will be disadvantaged in any way.
Dads in their 20s are just much more likely to get divorced.
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You're asking for opinions so here's mine.
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It's kind of a shitty world to bring a child into. I know people have said this for probably centuries, but now it's more true, I think, due to climate change, politics, technology, etc.
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Are you wealthy? If not, kids are expensive and makes you more dependent on not losing your job.
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Kids ruin your independence and maybe your relationship. Would you and your husband agree on how the child would be raised. What would happen if you broke up?
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Your husband will be 70 when the child turns 18. SEVENTY! ( I can't see the post while I'm typing. I think you said he's 51, right? )
People always say they are happy they did it and wouldn't give up parenthood for anything. But they also say they were happiest BEFORE the children arrived.
That said there are lots of positives too, but this is sort of from my perspective when we had to make the choice. My wife is a devout Christian and I'm an atheist. I let her do her thing and she lets me do mine. We don't talk about religion really, but a decision would have to be made regarding a child.
Point 1 is from someone who spends too much time on the internet.
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
"you're never too old to have children" -- Jeffrey Epstein
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You didn't ask for it, but my advice is not to have kids, at any age.
Life is so short, and you'll never have enough time to do everything you want before you're too old to.
So why burden yourself with a kid(s)?
That assumes the kid(s) is totally healthy and doesn't grow up to be an asshole, addict, or troublemaker.
But if your kid(s) ends up with health problems, intellectually slow, or has nightmare behaviour problems, you'll hate living the rest of your life. Then you'll resent them, which would suck for everyone.
And at your husband's age, you'll be doing it all alone. And in 20 years, you'll likely be caring for your husband, so there's no life, even after this kid(s) becomes an adult.
only reason i might want to have kids is to have people who care about me when i'm old. But i really dont want to have any for sake of those kids since world will go to shit. I hope i dont have to live to old age, not that it would be something anyone should want even under better circumstances considering how old people are treated if they cant live on their own.
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We're really not.
We live in a regional area, so the math is different.
Bullshit. Most people are a paycheck from collapse and you've over here with maids, single income household, and enough disposable income to buy your kids APARTMENTS. Let me guess, after uni they will rent out said apartments and use that to fund their houses while being landlords?
You are so beyond out of touch with the common person.
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only reason i might want to have kids is to have people who care about me when i'm old. But i really dont want to have any for sake of those kids since world will go to shit. I hope i dont have to live to old age, not that it would be something anyone should want even under better circumstances considering how old people are treated if they cant live on their own.
only reason i might want to have kids is to have people who care about me when i'm old.
There are a lot of variables that would need to fall into place for that to be a reality, and chances are, you'll be supporting your kids until you die.
Not worth the gamble (IMO) in time, energy, and money, if that's what the hope is.
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
Upper 30s is pushing it, genetically speaking, but I wouldn't discourage people in their early 40s from trying it. Ever person and every family can have different sizes and shapes.
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I hope that's a joke, but if not...women freezing eggs have sometimes encountered huge, huge problems. Huge financial problems, a quick search says 10-15K & often reaching 20K per egg freezing, retrieval procedure. Then $800/yr storage. Then costs for thawing & use. Tbf I see some lower quotes from New Hope but it's best to overestimate these costs & be pleasantly surprised when they're lower.
Freezing of eggs doesn't guarantee a successful pregnancy or healthy/live baby. A woman boldly wrote a piece called 'Freeze your eggs, free your career' and experienced a terrible, across the board dozen egg failure. At least she had the humility to share her story with the world, so they can see & learn from it. Takes a big person to admit maybe they were wrong.
I advise all wannabe future parents in their 20s to get to fucking. I don't personally advise having children, but obviously 20s are peak time if you can swing it. Biologically. It's not going to get any better.
I am immensely grateful for the egg freezing technology, how you can use it to cheat the infertility of cancer treatments, other bad medical conditions. But it's still a poor substitute for nature's plan, no guarantees, and I don't think it needs to be used by all women everywhere.
Good information!! Upvoted
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
Have kids for the kid, not for your journey... I think I know what you mean, but still: it has to be said.
I also think 50 is way too old. That potential kid is gonna loose his dad way too soon. -
I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
Instead of making new kids, let's save the ones stuck in the foster care system. The ones who are needing care and love more than the vague concept of "what my child could be" and an actual human being on this earth today.
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Dude, that sounds wealthy beyond most people's dreams.
Seriously, owning more than a single property is rich.
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I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
My ex's dad was in his early 60s when she was born. It was neat
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Have kids for the kid, not for your journey... I think I know what you mean, but still: it has to be said.
I also think 50 is way too old. That potential kid is gonna loose his dad way too soon.Big range in healthy active person v heart disease and diabetes. That's a 35 v 10 year life expectancy.
You do have a higher chance of birth defects from men that old.
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Point 1 is from someone who spends too much time on the internet.
That's just not... Yeah ok you're right.
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When I think of older men having kids I mostly think of how unfortunate it is for the kid.
By the time your kid is 20 his dad will be 72, which would me like, on average he might get 5 more years of having a dad. If he's lucky maybe 10-15.
Sorry to be macabre but it is something to consider.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Other elephant in the room is how healthy is the dad? A super motivated, athletic and engaged older dad is still better than an uninterested, over weight, young dad.
