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  3. Anon dates a 19 y/o

Anon dates a 19 y/o

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  • F [email protected]

    Who told you there was anything at all you could do in your life that there wouldn't be something better than you at? Why do you let that stop you from doing anything?

    W This user is from outside of this forum
    W This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #158

    I have friends I worry about daily, which sometimes gets in the way of self-improvement. I have a very rigid schedule that I'm like, failing right now. I work 9 hours a day, and get up at 5 AM. I have to pay off my mother's debt, or she is screwed. She works for an abusive company, and I put up with abuse in order to get her out.

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    • A [email protected]

      Oh really? I thought it ment a women marring for money in general.

      People can do what they want, but women shouldn't have to feel like they have to marry some dude a decade older just to have a decent life and start a family. That's all I'm saying.

      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #159

      Sure, they shouldn’t, but that’s life now. You gotta have a lot of money to have children today.

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      • F [email protected]

        A lot of people are downvoting this because a 19 year old is an adult who can make their own choices and you are insinuating that there's something so objectively wrong with dating an older person that it should be illegal.

        N This user is from outside of this forum
        N This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #160

        I am not in any way suggesting it should be illegal. I don't think I mentioned that once.

        What I am insinuating that if you're that young dating someone much older, there is almost always a massive power imbalance between the two in the relationship, romantically, and so it's a very difficult thing to overcome.

        If you're a 30/40/50+ year old person dating a 19 year old, there is usually something wrong with one party, the other, or both in that scenario. A 19 year old, romantically, is not mature enough or at the same place in their life as a 50 year old person. This will, at best, strain the relationship significantly as each partner will want something different out of life as the relationship progresses.

        If they don't, then one of them is likely a deeply broken individual. And that's usually going to be the much older person that's got some issues happening.

        The 19 year old truly doesn't know any better, or thinks they do, or is getting something in trade like security from the much older person and they're willing to give up other aspects of their life in trade for this.

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        • early_to_risa@sh.itjust.worksE [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #161

          Rule #492 do not call women your own age a hag

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          • O [email protected]

            It feels wrong to read manga-style art left to right.

            B This user is from outside of this forum
            B This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by [email protected]
            #162

            The whole comic was brain rot talk that i didn't even notice it didn't narratively connect.

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            • underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU [email protected]

              I’ll just keep trying until I get one.

              Literally all you can ever do.

              That said, I never really got one-night stands as a thing. If I connected with someone enough for sex, I was typically getting along well enough for friendship.

              Had three relationships that ran 2-5 years each before I got married, with a smattering of dating and perennial party girl friends in between.

              But it's so weird to want to hook up, then never see that person again.

              H This user is from outside of this forum
              H This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #163

              That said, I never really got one-night stands as a thing. If I connected with someone enough for sex, I was typically getting along well enough for friendship.

              Admittedly, in my case I may be overstating the one night stand nature. I see see most of these women every once in a while out and about and they're still friendly. However I'd not describe us as friends but more like friendly acquaintances that once had sex who sparsely see each other out in the wild. I've not had the chance to get in another major conversation with them and walk to a place after (I don't live in town but I have an agreement with a friend), so maybe something more might come about but probably not. I think they knew that we did not have much in common and we were just bored and horny.

              I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I'll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily. Right now I commute to work, every blue moon hit a local place after work. There might not be enough frequency for solid friendship.

              underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU 1 Reply Last reply
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              • H This user is from outside of this forum
                H This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #164

                Yeah it kind of is. Thing is though its almost easy to avoid rightwingers for me, they don't seem to hit spots I frequent. Men or women.

                I can pretty easily look past it mostly if someone is religious (though I may engage in light ribbing because I'm an atheist).

                I did have one woman try and uh... "fix" me and my atheism at a bar. She was one of those neopagan "heretic" type crystal people. It was a strange experience trying to discern what the hell she was talking about. She seemed convinced that I understood her religious rhetoric but she was on some kind of advanced reading. She had me hold a crystal she kept in her bag. Admittedly we did not end up going to bed together... She was painfully hot and I was legitimately intimidated by how hot she was and how crazy she seemed.

                I kind of hope I see her again because at the very least it was kind of interesting talking to her. Then again IDK I'll probably continue to be intimidated and nothing romantic is likely to happen between us.

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                • S [email protected]

                  Yes, but even people who don’t go online much, even people I actually do care about in my own life, still fall into that category. The people I care about tend to be much nicer and wouldn’t call someone a hag but they do lack a certain level of maturity. Green-text makes it near certain but it’s a “not all rectangles are squares” situation.

                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #165

                  Oh, but all rectangles are squares if we shoehorn a non-standard metric (this comment has absolutely nothing to do with the thread and it's just a dumb math joke).

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                  • H [email protected]

                    That said, I never really got one-night stands as a thing. If I connected with someone enough for sex, I was typically getting along well enough for friendship.

                    Admittedly, in my case I may be overstating the one night stand nature. I see see most of these women every once in a while out and about and they're still friendly. However I'd not describe us as friends but more like friendly acquaintances that once had sex who sparsely see each other out in the wild. I've not had the chance to get in another major conversation with them and walk to a place after (I don't live in town but I have an agreement with a friend), so maybe something more might come about but probably not. I think they knew that we did not have much in common and we were just bored and horny.

                    I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I'll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily. Right now I commute to work, every blue moon hit a local place after work. There might not be enough frequency for solid friendship.

                    underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                    underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #166

                    I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I’ll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily.

                    Best of luck. But yeah, the 'burbs are absolutely awful for meeting people who aren't already settled down. Live in the city with the cool single people! I did that all through my 20s and liked it so much I never left.

                    H 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU [email protected]

                      I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I’ll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily.

                      Best of luck. But yeah, the 'burbs are absolutely awful for meeting people who aren't already settled down. Live in the city with the cool single people! I did that all through my 20s and liked it so much I never left.

                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                      #167

                      I have always been too poor until recently to really afford that until now and I'm not in my 20's unfortunately.

                      I've been stuck in rural/suburban hell for most of my life because it was what I could afford. I could split a house with roommates easily for cheap rent. And I went to a nerdy sausage fest of a college (before I realized I was bi). I'll admit I'm trying to make up for lost time now. I feel like I would of had more fun had I done this in my 20's... but whatever, late is better than never I guess.

                      TBH, the city I'm going to move to is kind of small as well. Hopefully I can maybe move to a bigger one at some point if I can get a job in a big city someday, but with this economy I think it might be a while.

                      underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • H [email protected]

                        I have always been too poor until recently to really afford that until now and I'm not in my 20's unfortunately.

                        I've been stuck in rural/suburban hell for most of my life because it was what I could afford. I could split a house with roommates easily for cheap rent. And I went to a nerdy sausage fest of a college (before I realized I was bi). I'll admit I'm trying to make up for lost time now. I feel like I would of had more fun had I done this in my 20's... but whatever, late is better than never I guess.

                        TBH, the city I'm going to move to is kind of small as well. Hopefully I can maybe move to a bigger one at some point if I can get a job in a big city someday, but with this economy I think it might be a while.

                        underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                        underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #168

                        I’ve been stuck in rural/suburban hell for most of my life because it was what I could afford.

                        Yeah. I was living in a ratty townhouse inside Houston's Beltway 8 with no less than four other roommates way back in 2009. It wasn't always great, but you can't argue with $300/mo rent. When I moved out with my then-girlfriend, I was immediately paying more than $800/mo. And then rental prices skyrocketed, so we found the first affordable home we could grab and locked ourselves in.

                        I will say this about roommates. Between the four of us, we were either going to a house party someone knew about or we were hosting one, pretty much every weekend. Great way to meet people.

                        TBH, the city I’m going to move to is kind of small as well.

                        Small is relative. You're in a place with north of 50,000 people and your odds of meeting someone go way up. Live in a big city with 2.4M people and the odds are even better, of course.

                        But I found a nice little beach volleyball spot about 20 minutes drive from my home. Never had a hard time meeting other people while I was playing.

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