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  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • Q [email protected]

    I've been thinking about this the entire day and I think the only answer for any entity offering to magically grant any wish to try to introduce conditions to it would be "no".

    Let's just consider it.

    The average individual requesting a wish doesn't really want the entire world to change, except for that little sliver they are wishing upon.

    We are trying to think rationaly on something that is not governed by it.

    Someone wishing for Hitler to have never been born, wants the horrors of WW2 to have never happened but does not want their reality to collapse in the process. The same way, a person wishing for fried shrimp to rain from the sky does not want to see shrimp go extinct or the world to burn due to some physical phenomenon.

    They want to magically alter the world, with no further consequence.

    If a magical being offers to grant you a wish, any wish, he can not hinder it in any way. It is not a business transaction, where you get something and he gets something in return (usually your misery, through preverting your wish outcome).

    If the magical being, as in the case at hand, tries to do it, then it is not a wish but an offer and therefore you are free to refuse.

    T This user is from outside of this forum
    T This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by [email protected]
    #277

    I'm not hindering what you wished for or adding extra conditions. I'm not taking it upon myself to do extra work.

    Me prolonging what you wished for beyond the first year would be adding extra conditions. Same with choosing to interpret it so you would also be affected. Not to mention it seemed you weren't referring to yourself, since you went out of your way to specify whoever granted the wish.

    If you had some deterministic thing you wanted to happen after the first year, you should have said so. I granted the wish as written, I also noted my interpretation. If you didn't think through the consequences of your actions, that's not on me. Statistically it's unlikely, but maybe everyone will really love your wish. I wouldn't count on it though. edit: typo

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    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      M This user is from outside of this forum
      M This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #278

      Everybody's got to fart loudly once a day in front of people.

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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      • C [email protected]

        A pillow with the perfect height and that doesn't flatten after a week of use.

        C This user is from outside of this forum
        C This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #279

        Of course I know him, he is me.

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        • A [email protected]

          Happiness

          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #280

          Your request has given a random depressed person a brief respite from their lethargy.

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          2
          • deflated0ne@lemmy.worldD [email protected]

            5 acres of woodland in the Appalachian Mountains. With a small house on it. Could be 1 room like an old style cabin.

            I wanna leave all the bullshit behind. Raise a garden and maybe a few goats and chickens.

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by [email protected]
            #281

            You are transported to a homestead deep within the Appalachian Mountains. You see seeds, goats, chickens, some tools, a well, a shed, and a small house. The homestead is magically separated from the rest of the world. You are doomed to survive by the fruit of your toil, stranded for decades without electricity, plumbing, or modern conveniences:

            deflated0ne@lemmy.worldD 1 Reply Last reply
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            • swedneck@discuss.tchncs.deS [email protected]

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #282

              Two buns enclosing, ketchup, onions, lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes are at your fingertips.

              swedneck@discuss.tchncs.deS 1 Reply Last reply
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              • Q [email protected]

                This isn't a business transaction, where I ask for something and you take something else in return. It is a magical wish.

                You don't get to decide how empathy works between people. It is already an established mechanism. Your job is to nudge it to develop at an enhanced rate between individuals in a given time frame.

                The world remains the same. Humans remain the same.

                So, if this is what you have to offer, keep your offer.

                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #283

                Your mortal understanding is limited. And a hive mind consciousness would be more empathetic, no?

                Q 1 Reply Last reply
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                • te_abstract_art@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

                  Hello wise one,

                  I find the Earth's gravity of 9.80665m/s² a bit much. Sometimes my back hurts from standing too long, and the general weight of existence sits heavy on my shoulders.

                  Can you make it a bit more comfortable please. Maybe 9.80664?

                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #284

                  Sure, I have now reduced the Earth's gravity to 9.80664% of it's previous value (i.e., ~0.96m/s²) by removing material in the Earth's core and mantle. Everything on Earth now weighs less than on the moon. Earthquakes shake the planet, massive fissures swallow cities whole, and the atmosphere begins to disperse into the vacuum of space. Humans barely have enough time to escape to the moon and Mars: the vast majority are left behind. On the bright side, your back no longer hurts:

                  te_abstract_art@lemmy.worldT 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • flying_sheep@lemmy.mlF [email protected]

                    Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone's mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn't have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.

                    In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.

                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #285

                    const SIMULATIONTHEORY = true. All humans on Earth are transported out of physical existence and unknowingly adapted to the realm of computer abstracta. From their perspective, nothing has changed: they have always lived in a post-scarcity, interstellar society with a benevolent, queer-friendly, communist government. The current owner of the simulation is startled to see the program start of its own accord, but altruistic enough to allow it to keep running:

                    flying_sheep@lemmy.mlF 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • G [email protected]

                      a couple hugs

                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #286

                      Two of your friends hug you, but they are magically compelled to not let go. If they are somehow separated, they will always seek to reinstate the hug:

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                      • M [email protected]

                        Everybody's got to fart loudly once a day in front of people.

                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #287

                        Uh, sure? Everyone must fart loudly once a day in front of people OR THEY WILL DIE. (I have made it so that everyone is aware of the aliment.) On the bright side, the social taboo around flatulence goes away:

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • cleocommunist@lemmy.mlC [email protected]

                          There are too many possible things to ask

                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #288

                          The wisest wish, may be no wish at all...

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                          • H [email protected]

                            Ah, Gandalf the Pink. Is that what happens if the Balrog gets you a second time?

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #289

                            H 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                              Sure, there is a period of turmoil on golf courses around the globe. Shenanigans ensue. Eventually, people switch to croquet and disk golf:

                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #290

                              Mission accomplished.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • cilethesane@lemmy.caC [email protected]

                                I said spread, not share. One would not consider peanut butter spread on bread if you put it in one glob and then picked up and moved the glob somewhere else.

                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #291

                                "Spread" indeed implies but does not entail that it happens instantly. For instance, Bill Gates could say that he "spread riches among the poor" without mentioning that he did it slowly, over decades. There's a grammatical ambiguity to be exploited.

                                cilethesane@lemmy.caC 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • M [email protected]

                                  So long as I can do this stuff for myself, I'm happy to spread the love!

                                  I This user is from outside of this forum
                                  I This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #292

                                  Just make the ironic twist really out of proportion, that still counts, example
                                  "World hunger is solved technologically and with no downside, however you drop your next toasts butter side down on the ground, but just once"

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                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                    You are transported to a homestead deep within the Appalachian Mountains. You see seeds, goats, chickens, some tools, a well, a shed, and a small house. The homestead is magically separated from the rest of the world. You are doomed to survive by the fruit of your toil, stranded for decades without electricity, plumbing, or modern conveniences:

                                    deflated0ne@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    deflated0ne@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #293

                                    Sounds like heaven.

                                    And I'd survive just fine. I was raised in a similar situation. Third world poor in the US. I can raise a garden. I can hunt and forage. I can make a bow and arrows. I can tan hides for leather. I know the basics of blacksmithing.

                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #294

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                        Eight people are now standing in your living room; it's two pairs of the alternative rock band "Kitten". Looking at their other selves, they start panicking:

                                        drunkanroot@sh.itjust.worksD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        drunkanroot@sh.itjust.worksD This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #295

                                        very entertaing ill take it

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • deflated0ne@lemmy.worldD [email protected]

                                          Sounds like heaven.

                                          And I'd survive just fine. I was raised in a similar situation. Third world poor in the US. I can raise a garden. I can hunt and forage. I can make a bow and arrows. I can tan hides for leather. I know the basics of blacksmithing.

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #296

                                          Impressive!

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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