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  1. Home
  2. Microblog Memes
  3. I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.

I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.

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microblogmemes
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  • P [email protected]

    Depends where you are in the world really. In the UK, that is very much a you problem, not the pedestrian's. Not that people drive like it in some parts of the country, generally in rural areas.

    W This user is from outside of this forum
    W This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #55

    My understanding is that this is also the case (legally) in most of the US. Pedestrians have right of way.

    People sure don't drive like it though. Too many motherfuckers doing 50 down the fire lane in front of some local shops.

    O 1 Reply Last reply
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    • amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA [email protected]

      I'm really good at operating vehicles and other heavy machinery while on LSD, it doesn't significantly impair my coordination or reflexes. Delivered pizzas, drove a forklift once, and left more than a handful of underwhelming/unpleasant trip parties without having to wait til I came down. I suspect it's a combination of my particular neurodivergence plus a lot of practice gaming while tripping, hard to prove though.

      G This user is from outside of this forum
      G This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #56

      Upvoted for being genuinely the scariest. It's not scary that you're really good. It's scary that you actually believe yourself.

      A S amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA 3 Replies Last reply
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      • B [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
        toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #57

        I underwent a total dickectomy

        A K 2 Replies Last reply
        6
        • amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA [email protected]

          I'm really good at operating vehicles and other heavy machinery while on LSD, it doesn't significantly impair my coordination or reflexes. Delivered pizzas, drove a forklift once, and left more than a handful of underwhelming/unpleasant trip parties without having to wait til I came down. I suspect it's a combination of my particular neurodivergence plus a lot of practice gaming while tripping, hard to prove though.

          psythik@lemm.eeP This user is from outside of this forum
          psythik@lemm.eeP This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by [email protected]
          #58

          Dude I totally understand. I normally suck at video games but I've played Counter-Strike competitively on 25i before and I swear it turned me into a pro.

          All of a sudden I could pinpoint enemies with millimeter precision from the sound of their footsteps alone. It was like having x-ray vision or echolocation, no joke (Shout out to the CS devs for their excellent sound design). My aim was suddenly a lot better too. Headshots were child's play.

          Wish I still had gameplay footage but unfortunately this was several PCs ago. It's been a long time since I've fucked with psychedelics cause they don't pair nicely with anxiety (only time I was able play video games on the stuff was when I was drunk too). I was never that good at video games ever again.

          amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA 1 Reply Last reply
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          • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

            I underwent a total dickectomy

            A This user is from outside of this forum
            A This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #59

            If that was voluntary, great job!

            toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldT 1 Reply Last reply
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            • A [email protected]

              If that was voluntary, great job!

              toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
              toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #60

              It was, totally intentional lol

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS [email protected]

                fun

                scary, unsettling

                Not always two different things.

                stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #61

                Like meth!

                1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • S [email protected]

                  I'm ready to die, honestly. Not that I want to do it, it's just that I feel it's time since the pandemic.

                  stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                  stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #62

                  Why the pandemic?

                  B S 2 Replies Last reply
                  0
                  • B [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zoneK This user is from outside of this forum
                    kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zoneK This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #63

                    In my school there was a kid who consistently made plans to SA other students and regularly bragged about it. The school administration not only knew but actively went out of their way to defend him.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • B [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      match@pawb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                      match@pawb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #64

                      When I was a kid I had a hypothesis that autistic people simply lacked souls and that that explained their symptoms. (I don't think this anymore)

                      M T 2 Replies Last reply
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                      • A [email protected]

                        You had shotguns, could have rescared the bear

                        ininewcrow@lemmy.caI This user is from outside of this forum
                        ininewcrow@lemmy.caI This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #65

                        Yes, dad taught us that a shot gun wouldn't defend against a bear. He said if we were ever in that situation to aim for the face, eyes and nose and hope to blind it and give you a chance to run.

                        But with a bear as powerful as polar bear, chances are still high that that won't work.

                        A 303 rifle shot in the mud is like an explosion, it's very dramatic, loud and visual. It does scare a bear.

                        A shotgun blast in the mud is not as dramatic, unless you fire it about 20 feet away from you .... which is too close to you and the bear.

                        S 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • B [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          A This user is from outside of this forum
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                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #66

                          I was once bitten by a kissing bug.

                          R 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • N [email protected]

                            I recommend you check out Wendigoon's video on the subject. There was some faulty reporting on what actually went on there. The doctors, nurses and the family were not monsters and Hisachi himself was not begging for death. He tried to hold on to life for the sake of his family. It is a very touching story that fell victim to sensationalism because apparently, going through insane radiation sickness wasn't sensational enough.

                            M This user is from outside of this forum
                            M This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #67

                            I've seen several videos on it and most said he did. Not at first. Later, when he was near comatose.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • D [email protected]

                              The under-under-taker

                              K This user is from outside of this forum
                              K This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #68

                              If youโ€™re a trucker on CB radio, you could overtake the underundertaker, over.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • toomanypancakes@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

                                I underwent a total dickectomy

                                K This user is from outside of this forum
                                K This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #69

                                Technical term is a loppitoffamy

                                W 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • S [email protected]

                                  don't say any of that to anyone in person. you might get section 12'd

                                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #70

                                  Euthanasia for is legal for many terminal conditions that involve extreme suffering in in a few countries now:
                                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_euthanasia

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  4
                                  • j4k3@lemmy.worldJ [email protected]

                                    Society deserves more capable system thinkers

                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #71

                                    That's what I made [email protected] for ๐Ÿ˜

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • stinky@redlemmy.comS [email protected]

                                      Why the pandemic?

                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #72

                                      has anything made sense after the pandemic?

                                      stinky@redlemmy.comS 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • B [email protected]
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #73

                                        almost blew myself up for good after a pistol flare exploded half a meter from my face.
                                        went to the ER with superficial burns on my left hand and hearing damage that still rears its ugly head out to this day.
                                        each time i think about that moment i realise that if i had been in any other position when that flare blew up i probably wouldn't be here today

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • B [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          P This user is from outside of this forum
                                          P This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #74

                                          My parents made me way too casual of a liar..

                                          Okay it might have been my fault

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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