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Anon plays the badguy

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  • I This user is from outside of this forum
    I This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by [email protected]
    #1

    Be in simunitions course

    Am asked to play badguy

    I'm in the room with my instructor. He motions me over and says "Make em' work for it."

    "What exactly do you mean sir?"

    "Pretend you drank a gallon of PCP, k?"

    "O-ok"

    "Act crazy enough to make them focus on you, that way your buddies can give a nice coat of paint, got it?"

    "Yessir"

    Immediately start having /k/ related ideas pop into my head

    Team of two burst into the room I'm hiding in.

    I'm behind a giant box shaped like a cube in the center of a room filled with storage-type supplies

    They are yelling at me to come out

    stay hidden

    as the come near my box I worm my way around to the other side of it, in the dark to stay hidden

    They finally catch a glimpse of my left leg and start yelling at me to come out, hands up.

    So... I do /k/ proud.

    I hop up on the box in SpiderMan pose and scream "IT'S YOUR MOVE MR. LAW MAN!"

    He starts laughing while trying to give me commands

    His teammate who I recognize as our most worthless, out of shape, fat female officer is not laughing and still shrieking at me.

    I look at the guy and say "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO? PUT HER FUPA OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN?!?!?!" (completely different but disgusting story)

    The guy knows what I'm talking about and starts laughing. Loses his compusure and lets his guard down.

    I the hear my two Badguybros start to come out from their hiding spots

    Lady officer fires wildly at me (me, the unarmed obvious decoy)

    misses me enough times that I have time to jump on her like a Facehugger from Alien.

    Dude Officer is still laughing but takes out the other bad guys

    Our instructor is standing behind the glass wall and losing his shit

    I'm basically face fucking the female officer through her face mask

    I have taken her gun from her and am yelling, if I remember correctly "I USED TO RIDE BULLS AND SLAY DRAGONS YOU DON'T SCARE MEEEE!!!!"

    Finally the guy officer reloads (he took his time) and pops me 7 time in the ass

    U turkalino@lemmy.yachtsT fizz@lemmy.nzF L 4 Replies Last reply
    151
    • I [email protected]

      Be in simunitions course

      Am asked to play badguy

      I'm in the room with my instructor. He motions me over and says "Make em' work for it."

      "What exactly do you mean sir?"

      "Pretend you drank a gallon of PCP, k?"

      "O-ok"

      "Act crazy enough to make them focus on you, that way your buddies can give a nice coat of paint, got it?"

      "Yessir"

      Immediately start having /k/ related ideas pop into my head

      Team of two burst into the room I'm hiding in.

      I'm behind a giant box shaped like a cube in the center of a room filled with storage-type supplies

      They are yelling at me to come out

      stay hidden

      as the come near my box I worm my way around to the other side of it, in the dark to stay hidden

      They finally catch a glimpse of my left leg and start yelling at me to come out, hands up.

      So... I do /k/ proud.

      I hop up on the box in SpiderMan pose and scream "IT'S YOUR MOVE MR. LAW MAN!"

      He starts laughing while trying to give me commands

      His teammate who I recognize as our most worthless, out of shape, fat female officer is not laughing and still shrieking at me.

      I look at the guy and say "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO? PUT HER FUPA OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN?!?!?!" (completely different but disgusting story)

      The guy knows what I'm talking about and starts laughing. Loses his compusure and lets his guard down.

      I the hear my two Badguybros start to come out from their hiding spots

      Lady officer fires wildly at me (me, the unarmed obvious decoy)

      misses me enough times that I have time to jump on her like a Facehugger from Alien.

      Dude Officer is still laughing but takes out the other bad guys

      Our instructor is standing behind the glass wall and losing his shit

      I'm basically face fucking the female officer through her face mask

      I have taken her gun from her and am yelling, if I remember correctly "I USED TO RIDE BULLS AND SLAY DRAGONS YOU DON'T SCARE MEEEE!!!!"

      Finally the guy officer reloads (he took his time) and pops me 7 time in the ass

      U This user is from outside of this forum
      U This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      FUPA had to look that up

      G F 2 Replies Last reply
      5
      • I [email protected]

        Be in simunitions course

        Am asked to play badguy

        I'm in the room with my instructor. He motions me over and says "Make em' work for it."

        "What exactly do you mean sir?"

        "Pretend you drank a gallon of PCP, k?"

        "O-ok"

        "Act crazy enough to make them focus on you, that way your buddies can give a nice coat of paint, got it?"

        "Yessir"

        Immediately start having /k/ related ideas pop into my head

        Team of two burst into the room I'm hiding in.

        I'm behind a giant box shaped like a cube in the center of a room filled with storage-type supplies

        They are yelling at me to come out

        stay hidden

        as the come near my box I worm my way around to the other side of it, in the dark to stay hidden

        They finally catch a glimpse of my left leg and start yelling at me to come out, hands up.

        So... I do /k/ proud.

        I hop up on the box in SpiderMan pose and scream "IT'S YOUR MOVE MR. LAW MAN!"

        He starts laughing while trying to give me commands

        His teammate who I recognize as our most worthless, out of shape, fat female officer is not laughing and still shrieking at me.

        I look at the guy and say "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO? PUT HER FUPA OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN?!?!?!" (completely different but disgusting story)

        The guy knows what I'm talking about and starts laughing. Loses his compusure and lets his guard down.

        I the hear my two Badguybros start to come out from their hiding spots

        Lady officer fires wildly at me (me, the unarmed obvious decoy)

        misses me enough times that I have time to jump on her like a Facehugger from Alien.

        Dude Officer is still laughing but takes out the other bad guys

        Our instructor is standing behind the glass wall and losing his shit

        I'm basically face fucking the female officer through her face mask

        I have taken her gun from her and am yelling, if I remember correctly "I USED TO RIDE BULLS AND SLAY DRAGONS YOU DON'T SCARE MEEEE!!!!"

        Finally the guy officer reloads (he took his time) and pops me 7 time in the ass

        turkalino@lemmy.yachtsT This user is from outside of this forum
        turkalino@lemmy.yachtsT This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #3

        I have a somewhat similar story.

        I hid underneath a desk when it was my turn to play bad guy. It was one of those desks where the back wall doesn’t quite go all the way down and stops about 4 inches off the ground. I would shoot people’s feet when they walked by. It was hard to contain my laughter as people jumped up like they were scared of a rat running around.

        It took 3 people walking through the room not knowing what was going on and thinking the room was clear before the 4th person actually stopped and looked behind the desk.

        R 1 Reply Last reply
        34
        • I [email protected]

          Be in simunitions course

          Am asked to play badguy

          I'm in the room with my instructor. He motions me over and says "Make em' work for it."

          "What exactly do you mean sir?"

          "Pretend you drank a gallon of PCP, k?"

          "O-ok"

          "Act crazy enough to make them focus on you, that way your buddies can give a nice coat of paint, got it?"

          "Yessir"

          Immediately start having /k/ related ideas pop into my head

          Team of two burst into the room I'm hiding in.

          I'm behind a giant box shaped like a cube in the center of a room filled with storage-type supplies

          They are yelling at me to come out

          stay hidden

          as the come near my box I worm my way around to the other side of it, in the dark to stay hidden

          They finally catch a glimpse of my left leg and start yelling at me to come out, hands up.

          So... I do /k/ proud.

          I hop up on the box in SpiderMan pose and scream "IT'S YOUR MOVE MR. LAW MAN!"

          He starts laughing while trying to give me commands

          His teammate who I recognize as our most worthless, out of shape, fat female officer is not laughing and still shrieking at me.

          I look at the guy and say "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO? PUT HER FUPA OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN?!?!?!" (completely different but disgusting story)

          The guy knows what I'm talking about and starts laughing. Loses his compusure and lets his guard down.

          I the hear my two Badguybros start to come out from their hiding spots

          Lady officer fires wildly at me (me, the unarmed obvious decoy)

          misses me enough times that I have time to jump on her like a Facehugger from Alien.

          Dude Officer is still laughing but takes out the other bad guys

          Our instructor is standing behind the glass wall and losing his shit

          I'm basically face fucking the female officer through her face mask

          I have taken her gun from her and am yelling, if I remember correctly "I USED TO RIDE BULLS AND SLAY DRAGONS YOU DON'T SCARE MEEEE!!!!"

          Finally the guy officer reloads (he took his time) and pops me 7 time in the ass

          fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
          fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          What's a simunitions course? Ive never heard of this before

          J 1 Reply Last reply
          27
          • fizz@lemmy.nzF [email protected]

            What's a simunitions course? Ive never heard of this before

            J This user is from outside of this forum
            J This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #5

            Simunitions are a type of round that has a small bead like an airsoft pellet instead of an actual bullet. The weapons are outfitted with a smaller barrel to accomodate.

            The benefits to this is you can have the real weight of the weapon with real cycling of the slide or bolt as you fire. It's non-lethal and leaves bruises similar to paintballs.

            I think they leave a mark from dust when they impact (hence the "paint" part)

            fizz@lemmy.nzF turkalino@lemmy.yachtsT R 3 Replies Last reply
            28
            • I [email protected]

              Be in simunitions course

              Am asked to play badguy

              I'm in the room with my instructor. He motions me over and says "Make em' work for it."

              "What exactly do you mean sir?"

              "Pretend you drank a gallon of PCP, k?"

              "O-ok"

              "Act crazy enough to make them focus on you, that way your buddies can give a nice coat of paint, got it?"

              "Yessir"

              Immediately start having /k/ related ideas pop into my head

              Team of two burst into the room I'm hiding in.

              I'm behind a giant box shaped like a cube in the center of a room filled with storage-type supplies

              They are yelling at me to come out

              stay hidden

              as the come near my box I worm my way around to the other side of it, in the dark to stay hidden

              They finally catch a glimpse of my left leg and start yelling at me to come out, hands up.

              So... I do /k/ proud.

              I hop up on the box in SpiderMan pose and scream "IT'S YOUR MOVE MR. LAW MAN!"

              He starts laughing while trying to give me commands

              His teammate who I recognize as our most worthless, out of shape, fat female officer is not laughing and still shrieking at me.

              I look at the guy and say "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO? PUT HER FUPA OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN?!?!?!" (completely different but disgusting story)

              The guy knows what I'm talking about and starts laughing. Loses his compusure and lets his guard down.

              I the hear my two Badguybros start to come out from their hiding spots

              Lady officer fires wildly at me (me, the unarmed obvious decoy)

              misses me enough times that I have time to jump on her like a Facehugger from Alien.

              Dude Officer is still laughing but takes out the other bad guys

              Our instructor is standing behind the glass wall and losing his shit

              I'm basically face fucking the female officer through her face mask

              I have taken her gun from her and am yelling, if I remember correctly "I USED TO RIDE BULLS AND SLAY DRAGONS YOU DON'T SCARE MEEEE!!!!"

              Finally the guy officer reloads (he took his time) and pops me 7 time in the ass

              L This user is from outside of this forum
              L This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              Anon plays the bad guy? DUH!

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • J [email protected]

                Simunitions are a type of round that has a small bead like an airsoft pellet instead of an actual bullet. The weapons are outfitted with a smaller barrel to accomodate.

                The benefits to this is you can have the real weight of the weapon with real cycling of the slide or bolt as you fire. It's non-lethal and leaves bruises similar to paintballs.

                I think they leave a mark from dust when they impact (hence the "paint" part)

                fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
                fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                #7

                That sounds cool, i enjoyed airsoft so id probably enjoy that as well. But im confused why are they roleplaying cops vs mentally insane PCP man.

                When I first read this greentext I thought it was a school course that American kids had to do.

                J 1 Reply Last reply
                12
                • fizz@lemmy.nzF [email protected]

                  That sounds cool, i enjoyed airsoft so id probably enjoy that as well. But im confused why are they roleplaying cops vs mentally insane PCP man.

                  When I first read this greentext I thought it was a school course that American kids had to do.

                  J This user is from outside of this forum
                  J This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  Yeah I've always wanted to practice with sim rounds. The best I ever got was blanks.

                  It's definitely not a school course haha. It's a military/police training course that focuses on close quarters combat and escalation of force.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  8
                  • U [email protected]

                    FUPA had to look that up

                    G This user is from outside of this forum
                    G This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    Huh, I knew what it was, but never knew it was an acronym.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • U [email protected]

                      FUPA had to look that up

                      F This user is from outside of this forum
                      F This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #10

                      Aka the mons pubis

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • J [email protected]

                        Simunitions are a type of round that has a small bead like an airsoft pellet instead of an actual bullet. The weapons are outfitted with a smaller barrel to accomodate.

                        The benefits to this is you can have the real weight of the weapon with real cycling of the slide or bolt as you fire. It's non-lethal and leaves bruises similar to paintballs.

                        I think they leave a mark from dust when they impact (hence the "paint" part)

                        turkalino@lemmy.yachtsT This user is from outside of this forum
                        turkalino@lemmy.yachtsT This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        The simunitions course I took shot paint rounds. Makes it very obvious for the instructors to know if you got hit or not

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • turkalino@lemmy.yachtsT [email protected]

                          I have a somewhat similar story.

                          I hid underneath a desk when it was my turn to play bad guy. It was one of those desks where the back wall doesn’t quite go all the way down and stops about 4 inches off the ground. I would shoot people’s feet when they walked by. It was hard to contain my laughter as people jumped up like they were scared of a rat running around.

                          It took 3 people walking through the room not knowing what was going on and thinking the room was clear before the 4th person actually stopped and looked behind the desk.

                          R This user is from outside of this forum
                          R This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          I almost had a moment that satisfying.

                          But that particular training op was only supplied with blanks and blue body grenades. No one knows they've been "hit" unless you yell at them, which means you have to give away your awesome hiding spot. Also, they sometimes just can't hear you, so you might have to let a whole disorganized squad bumblefuck their way by without any reprocussions for their utter lack of situational awareness.

                          But it was still better than the time everyone else had sim rounds in their M16s but I was issued an M9 and a SMAW which they didn't provision any kind of simulated ammo for. I had to yell "BANG BANG" and hope my target played by the rules (they didn't).

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • J [email protected]

                            Simunitions are a type of round that has a small bead like an airsoft pellet instead of an actual bullet. The weapons are outfitted with a smaller barrel to accomodate.

                            The benefits to this is you can have the real weight of the weapon with real cycling of the slide or bolt as you fire. It's non-lethal and leaves bruises similar to paintballs.

                            I think they leave a mark from dust when they impact (hence the "paint" part)

                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by [email protected]
                            #13

                            The weapons are outfitted with a smaller barrel to accomodate.

                            The different barrel requirement doesn't apply to all systems. AR-15/M16/M4 rifles in 5.56 can use a drop in bolt carrier group with Simunition mags and ammo, with no other changes.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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