Get. Off. The. Plane.
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There is a faster method of deplaning. Inside-out is faster. All the aisle seats get their stuff and get off. Then middle, then window
Unfortunately it was never implemented because it makes it difficult to charge extra for higher class zones. It's also very difficult to get people to actually do it
wrote last edited by [email protected]Ah yes, the most human deboarding method. Children deboarding on their own. Families separated.
Hundreds of people trying to reunite at the gate all simultaneously.
That won't cause any downstream issues.
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
I just don't (entirely) agree about vacation families. Just like the airlines made their bad with paid checked luggage causing more cabin luggage, they did the same with paid seating. Most families wouldn't care where they sit - so long as they're together.
I male sure we always sit together, but for some, additional 200-500 USD/EUR for the whole trip is significant and may account for a good portion of the holiday budget.
Now one may say that then they shouldn't fly, but why? Again - airlines made this problem.
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(Source: TikTok video)
I've never flown but want to but all this crap news about airlines and people not understanding basic saftey issues is nerve racking.
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Nah y'all just don't hustle enough.
But but but they have a small child- lame excuse for lame breeders, get out the way.
IMHO there should be a child section in back.
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They really need to load back to front, then unload front to back, if it was organized it would go so much better. Like announce when each group can stand and get bags and when each can leave.
But how can they sell priority boarding then? Just think for one minute about the poor airline companies! /s
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Do the ole leg into the aisle as soon as we land to prevent people like this lol
If they're rude enough to cut, then they might be rude enough to "accidentally" bash past your leg.
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(Source: TikTok video)
There's an effect I see in situations like this where the people in a big hurried rush end up being slow asses because apparently they don't care about this working efficiently, they just care about when they can stop waiting.
On a plane these are the people who leap out of their seat and block your row, only to start searching for their bag once it's their turn to get off the plane.
I see the same from drivers at red lights. If there are multiple lanes waiting to go, and one car has to inch forward every 5 seconds even though they are already way past the line, then in my very limited anecdotal experience there's like a 90% chance when the light turns green they just sit there for a few seconds after I start going.
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They really need to load back to front, then unload front to back, if it was organized it would go so much better. Like announce when each group can stand and get bags and when each can leave.
Airlines: "Wait, but I thought if you unload front to back you get a UTI"
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(Source: TikTok video)
Let all 200 of you live a separate life for a year and you would all start killing one another as soon as you boarded the plane. By the time the plane landed all of 'you' would all have to be carried off.
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There's an effect I see in situations like this where the people in a big hurried rush end up being slow asses because apparently they don't care about this working efficiently, they just care about when they can stop waiting.
On a plane these are the people who leap out of their seat and block your row, only to start searching for their bag once it's their turn to get off the plane.
I see the same from drivers at red lights. If there are multiple lanes waiting to go, and one car has to inch forward every 5 seconds even though they are already way past the line, then in my very limited anecdotal experience there's like a 90% chance when the light turns green they just sit there for a few seconds after I start going.
one car has to inch forward every 5 seconds even though they are already way past the line
In my limited experience these cars are driven by people so absorbed by their phones that they don’t realize they aren’t fully engaging the brakes.
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(Source: TikTok video)
And me. I'd just wait the 30 seconds for all of yous to deboard and then take my sweet time.
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(Source: TikTok video)
Me and my 300 clones spider-crawling over the seats to deplane.
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Seeing the crowd of people squeeze off the Airplane like a tube of toothpaste only to all congregate around baggage claim is the same energy as passing aggressively on the street only for you to pull up next to them at the redlight.
This ignores:
- People with only a carry on.
- People with tight connecting flights they need to get to.
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The problem is underallocated overhead space. You give us maximum dimensions, and you know the number of seats. Fucking have sufficient overhead space.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The amount of space is the amount of space. You can't create more, because it's literally constrained by the roof of the plane. It's already maxed out.
The only thing they could do to make sure there was "enough space" is to have less tightly packrd seats and carry less people, which again they aren't going to do for the obvious reason - profit.
Or - reduce the max carry on baggage dimensions, which I'm sure people would equally complain about. And would make them look worse against other airlines which "allow" bigger bags, despite there not being enough space to put them!
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one car has to inch forward every 5 seconds even though they are already way past the line
In my limited experience these cars are driven by people so absorbed by their phones that they don’t realize they aren’t fully engaging the brakes.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I think automatic transmissions have conditioned people to sit too far from the pedals.
I just bought an old classic and haven't driven stick in a decade. After I got everything comfy and adjusted how I wanted I realized something: I couldn't get the clutch all the way down if I tried, I'm too far away. Same for the brakes.
Power brakes have made us feel as though all we need is the braking power of our toes, but what happens when your ABS pump goes out and you have to use actual force to apply the brakes at 65mph? Do you have the leverage to get those brakes as far down as they need to to stop safely?
If we were all still popping clutches at every red light I don't think this would be an issue. I think we'd have less distracted drivers too, needing to shift manually keeps a driver engaged with the car and road.
I Wasn't advocating to ban Automatic Transmissions when this comment started, I am now.
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My point still stands. Everyone is living their own lives and have their reasons for being in a hurry. Not everyone is a chill dude like you.
It stands, but it neither contradicts nor supports my line of thinking. I was aware of it already when I wondered about adults constantly being in a rush. You can restate it if you like but it doesn't change my curiosity at the nature of this common problem.
My comment is more about what the underlying cause of the pervasiveness of this issue. Were people always like this or is it one of these fun results of industrialisation? Is it a western culture thing? Is it a capitalism thing? Rhetorical questions in this case - I'm not seeking specific answers from anyone today. I am interested but it feels like we'll end up arguing and I could do without that.
I'd be curious how different cultures handle rush, timekeeping, social pressure related to commitments. Needing to rush constantly seems like a bit of either a systemic failure or a deliberate dark pattern.
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Me and my 300 clones spider-crawling over the seats to deplane.
SURRRRRGE!!!!!
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It's not complicated. You just said you're in no hurry. Unless you have a window seat, you couldn't possibly not be slowing others down.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Sorry, I didn't think I needed to outright state that I'm not obstructing others. I assumed, it would seem incorrectly, that that went without saying!
If you'd like you can assume I also block people at the baggage claim and take my time when I'm at the front of the passport control queue with people behind me. I don't, obviously, but if you're going to start off assuming shiftiness why stop at the basics! Take it the whole way! Presume I'm incapable of using a luggage trolley too! Why not!
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Sorry, I didn't think I needed to outright state that I'm not obstructing others. I assumed, it would seem incorrectly, that that went without saying!
If you'd like you can assume I also block people at the baggage claim and take my time when I'm at the front of the passport control queue with people behind me. I don't, obviously, but if you're going to start off assuming shiftiness why stop at the basics! Take it the whole way! Presume I'm incapable of using a luggage trolley too! Why not!
I mean, I was mostly kidding when I made the original comment, but less so when you seemed to double down. Either way, you don't sound like the problem people I am referring to. No harm meant.
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I mean, I was mostly kidding when I made the original comment, but less so when you seemed to double down. Either way, you don't sound like the problem people I am referring to. No harm meant.
That's fair enough, thanks for being chill about it! Opinions about this stuff are all over the shop in this thread so it's hard to be sure. When I learn I'm part of a given problem I try to mend my ways but on this I feel like it's a lot of other people that could do with learning a lesson.
Most of us don't need to be in such a rush - some people do though! Get out of their way!
I try to remind myself that I'm just not that important. An extra few minutes just don't matter much for me in the grand scheme of things. Those few minutes might make a difference to someone with a dying relative or similar - I'm happy to simmer down and wait my turn (or even more, giving up my turn so others can go before me). Hence why being called part of the problem is a bit upsetting - I'm trying to be the kind of person I'd want to meet!
