Get. Off. The. Plane.
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This is the same line of thinking as, "if everyone drove like me, there'd be no traffic," (a phrase used exclusively by terrible drivers).
Project much?
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What's the hurry to stand up, especially if there's a bus that waits for everyone or if needs to wait the luggage
Just enjoy seating down
I get pissed when they turn off the entertainment system immediately after landing
Just enjoy seating down
Turns out, after sitting for hours, sitting is the thing that is least enjoyable in the history of humanity
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At the risk of sounding boomer despite not being boomer, have others noted a decline in basic decency with deplaning? In the past maybe two years or so even I've never seen so many people from the back of the plane rush ahead into the aisle blocking people in front of them from getting out and disrupting the hell out of the standard row by row front to back organized way to get off a plane. Last. Flight I took when I got into the tunnel some lunatic behind me tried to trample me, stepped on the heel of my shoe and ripped my shoe off. Not even a "sorry"
Modern air travel is the epitome of enshitification.I saw someone itt say that it speeds up deplaning for them to rush to the front like you're saying.
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I saw someone itt say that it speeds up deplaning for them to rush to the front like you're saying.
It likely does. The chaotic bumrush wouldn't be permitted by the airlines if it didn't work. The sense of panic in promotes is probably good for deplaning averages.
Like so many things that are good for corporations, it's very damn unpleasant for customers. -
(Source: TikTok video)
wrote last edited by [email protected]I have kids now so some of this applies less but!
I totally agree with you. I don't usually have a checked bag when it's just me, so there's no waiting around the baggage claim to look forward to. I DO NOT stop to pull my overhead bag. I've either got it under my seat, already pulled it from the overhead, or I fuckin eyeball that thing like there's about to be a missile intercept (because there is) and I grab and pull while I walk. Once I leave my seat there is no pause. In the same way, if I'm inside on the window, I'm watching for space and when middle seat moves I follow. None of this "oh shit I forgot the light turned green".
Even now with kids we are only slightly slower than that. I have to let the gremlins (who you probably didn't know were on the plane because they've been hyper entertained out of their fuckin minds) be line leader to walk off the plane and I need enough time to stand up and get the bags off the seat behind me onto my body to urban pack mule that shit out of here.
What I'm NOT doing is texting my boyfriend oblivious to the cues being presented to me, smashing through the line because I'm an inconsiderate fuckwit, or standing up when it's my turn and gazing into the overheads like I'm lost in the Arby's menu. Stage your shit and get the fuck off the plane without stopping, then walk like you got some place to be or move to the side. No big deal.
More importantly than any of that though, I've got this really weird superpower where I can listen to what the fuck the FAs say. If someone needs to get off the plane first, I can stay seated and wait for them to haul ass off the plane. Or at least I would, except it's always like a herd of cattle with no awareness instantly reacting to the sound of the seatbelt light turning off no matter what.
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If you're smart you did everything in your power not to check a bag, so nope. And no I'm not staying seated. I'm stretching and I'm going to be ready. Such a confusing thread.
wrote last edited by [email protected]You had the entire flight to walk to the pisser and back to your seat for as many times as you wish, but now , exactly at the last and most annoying moment, you absolutely can't sit down for 5 fucking minutes? The door will open at the same time.
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You had the entire flight to walk to the pisser and back to your seat for as many times as you wish, but now , exactly at the last and most annoying moment, you absolutely can't sit down for 5 fucking minutes? The door will open at the same time.
You have no idea what opportunity I had, not that it matters. I want to stretch and I have zero idea why it bothers you or anyone else here declaring it a crime.
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It likely does. The chaotic bumrush wouldn't be permitted by the airlines if it didn't work. The sense of panic in promotes is probably good for deplaning averages.
Like so many things that are good for corporations, it's very damn unpleasant for customers.No, it doesn't speed up deplaning for some asshole to block me from getting my bag down and make me have to wait until later because they think they're special. It's a line and they're skipping it.
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You have no idea what opportunity I had, not that it matters. I want to stretch and I have zero idea why it bothers you or anyone else here declaring it a crime.
Because it's a cramped space.
People who get up when the plane touches ground are going to be standing in the walkway with their bags and butts pressed against other people for all the time it takes for the plane to taxi in and connect the doors to the terminal or stairs.They do not get out faster.
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Because it's a cramped space.
People who get up when the plane touches ground are going to be standing in the walkway with their bags and butts pressed against other people for all the time it takes for the plane to taxi in and connect the doors to the terminal or stairs.They do not get out faster.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Being ready to go means faster by definition and also how is anyone in the aisle's butt pressed against people in middle and window seats? That doesn't make any sense
Ps. you're not allowed to stand while taxiing is occurring.
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Blame the airlines for that. Some are still allowing free carry on, but charging $75 for a checked bag. This is entirely a problem created from airline greed.
Vote with your wallet (wherever possible)
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Staying out of the way of all the people rushing is somehow the problem?
Explain.
wrote last edited by [email protected]It's not complicated. You just said you're in no hurry. Unless you have a window seat, you couldn't possibly not be slowing others down.
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I was speaking more generally, not about flights specifically, and about how common it is.
Adults throughout my life seem to constantly be rushing to everything. As a proper big boy adult now myself (I'm almost 40) I still don't get how it's so pervasive. My comment was more about how common it is, not about reasons people might be in a rush. I can think of plenty of reasons any given person might be in a rush on a given day but so many people seem to be in a perpetual mad dash. That bit boggles my mind.
My point still stands. Everyone is living their own lives and have their reasons for being in a hurry. Not everyone is a chill dude like you.
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But it's not just saving time, I want my stuff to make it to my destination too, and too often it doesn't if you check it.
I've travelled for work all my life, I've flied idk, hundreds of times, my luggage got lost exactly one time, when I got a connection in Switzerland, they left it on the tarmac. Luckily it was my toolbox, not my personal bag.
Another time my luggage lost me, meaning they loaded it on an earlier flight and then cancelled mine, so my luggage got to destination and I didn't. That was on a flight from Miami to New York.
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Every time I’ve checked my bags I’ve been called a moron because my bags are going to get lost.
And sadly those people are not wrong, I’ve had my luggage lost twice, and they don’t pay you back for that.
I’ve had my luggage lost twice, and they don’t pay you back for that.
Excuse me?
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No, it doesn't speed up deplaning for some asshole to block me from getting my bag down and make me have to wait until later because they think they're special. It's a line and they're skipping it.
Are you making assumptions or do you have stats on this?
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(Source: TikTok video)
If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
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Are you making assumptions or do you have stats on this?
If you did you would've shared them.
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And then they run out of overhead room, so they check your bag for free anyway.
So they miss out on the revenue, slow things down, and add logistical complexity to a process that is already notorious for losing track of critical items.
The other consideration it has is on net luggage weight. Yeah, they're still checking bags for "free" but they're smaller and lighter - saving fuel by increasing efficiency. And that's also a good thing from a pollution point!
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
Where's Chapter 2?
