Get. Off. The. Plane.
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What fucking line? What are you queueing for? Is there a Bruno Mars concert at the other end of the jetway or something?
If I'm ready to get off the plane and there's room for me to leave me seat, I'm getting off the plane. I'm not waiting to consult with you to make sure it's "my turn" to enter the fucking airport.
So you're one of the selfish dickheads. Cool.
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If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
That would slow down boarding exponentially. It just takes one or two assholes to need to have flight attendants stationed throughout the entire cabin making sure people use their bins.
Rule of thumb: if you are anything past the first peasant boarding group, look ahead. If things look crowded? Find the first mostly empty bin and just put your bag up there so that you can grab it on your way out. Otherwise you are gambling that there will be an opening closer to where you actually sit which inevitably is five rows behind you.
And that (and lounge access and not needing to manage miles for status) is why I ended up just getting the fancy credit card for my airline group of choice. Priority boarding means it doesn't matter where I sit: I have "my" bin.
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So the correct way to do it is for people like you to skip the line? People who get up and move forward make me want to go postal. They exude "fuck everyone" energy and they think the fact that I stayed seated a few extra seconds is their invitation to skip line. Fuck that.
It's not skipping the line, it's waiting longer until there's a time where you don't hold it up and allow others to pass.
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It's not skipping the line, it's waiting longer until there's a time where you don't hold it up and allow others to pass.
I am so confused by this thread and this comment might take the cake. It just feels like we're all speaking different languages and none of them have anything to do with the original post. People are slow was the point. But the whole thread is people changing the subject in ways that make me say "... what ?". Did I accidentally ingest hard drugs this morning or what?
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If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The luggage problem has only got worse and worse over the past decade, and by the airlines' own making. Carriers all started trying to make extra cash by charging for checked luggage, which incentivises people to take carry-on only, up to the maximum size and quantity of carry-on they are permitted.
If bags could be checked for free and people took only an under-seat carry-on for the things they need in flight it wouldn't be a problem, but we know that's never going to happen.
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
this is accurate except for the bit about United - who the fuck flies United? don't people know that they break guitars?
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(Source: TikTok video)
I want the safety announcement at the start of the flight to say:
"You are in a flying metal coffin. Now imagine this coffin filling with smoke and fire. This plane only passes safety regulations because we simulated unboarding it with everyone behaving perfectly, leaving all of their crap behind. In an emergency, you MUST leave your stuff behind. Your life depends on it. The lives of everyone around you depend on it. If you see someone trying to take stuff with them, you MUST use whatever level of force is necessary to stop them. Even lethal force is justified. You must be prepared to tear someone to pieces if they don't leave their stuff behind. The lives of you and your family depend on the asshole in front of you letting their laptop burn."
That's the kind of boarding announcement I want to hear!
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So you're one of the selfish dickheads. Cool.
The selfish dickheads are the ones who get their panties in a wad when people get off the plane before them
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The luggage problem has only got worse and worse over the past decade, and by the airlines' own making. Carriers all started trying to make extra cash by charging for checked luggage, which incentivises people to take carry-on only, up to the maximum size and quantity of carry-on they are permitted.
If bags could be checked for free and people took only an under-seat carry-on for the things they need in flight it wouldn't be a problem, but we know that's never going to happen.
Agreed it’s a combo of higher seat density and way more checked bags.
I swear in the 90s getting off a plane felt way quicker.
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The selfish dickheads are the ones who get their panties in a wad when people get off the plane before them
You undoubtedly also skip lines at counters because you're special
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If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
I think they should only let you put it in the overhead if it's over your seat. It's full? Tough shit. Check it.
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I have kids now so some of this applies less but!
I totally agree with you. I don't usually have a checked bag when it's just me, so there's no waiting around the baggage claim to look forward to. I DO NOT stop to pull my overhead bag. I've either got it under my seat, already pulled it from the overhead, or I fuckin eyeball that thing like there's about to be a missile intercept (because there is) and I grab and pull while I walk. Once I leave my seat there is no pause. In the same way, if I'm inside on the window, I'm watching for space and when middle seat moves I follow. None of this "oh shit I forgot the light turned green".
Even now with kids we are only slightly slower than that. I have to let the gremlins (who you probably didn't know were on the plane because they've been hyper entertained out of their fuckin minds) be line leader to walk off the plane and I need enough time to stand up and get the bags off the seat behind me onto my body to urban pack mule that shit out of here.
What I'm NOT doing is texting my boyfriend oblivious to the cues being presented to me, smashing through the line because I'm an inconsiderate fuckwit, or standing up when it's my turn and gazing into the overheads like I'm lost in the Arby's menu. Stage your shit and get the fuck off the plane without stopping, then walk like you got some place to be or move to the side. No big deal.
More importantly than any of that though, I've got this really weird superpower where I can listen to what the fuck the FAs say. If someone needs to get off the plane first, I can stay seated and wait for them to haul ass off the plane. Or at least I would, except it's always like a herd of cattle with no awareness instantly reacting to the sound of the seatbelt light turning off no matter what.
^^ This is my take. Behave like an adult.
99% of the time, I don't have anywhere to be in a hurry, so I let others (who may or may not need to) go first.
I often travel with kids at this time in my life, but we just chill in our row until things get calm. Then we can grab stuff from overhead if needed, even if it's behind us.
On the occasions where I've needed to rush to make a connecting flight, I just say it out loud and get some buy-in from those around me, or it's already obvious and the whole cabin is probably aware. In those cases, getting non-pressured people to give you priority tends to work if you just ask.
I can imagine a class of passenger who is super dependent on timing -- but those people have already failed. PSA: When traveling, assume that you will not depart or arrive at the exact time on your ticket. Give yourself an hour or two to absorb delays and then you can just be chill.
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The luggage problem has only got worse and worse over the past decade, and by the airlines' own making. Carriers all started trying to make extra cash by charging for checked luggage, which incentivises people to take carry-on only, up to the maximum size and quantity of carry-on they are permitted.
If bags could be checked for free and people took only an under-seat carry-on for the things they need in flight it wouldn't be a problem, but we know that's never going to happen.
The problem is underallocated overhead space. You give us maximum dimensions, and you know the number of seats. Fucking have sufficient overhead space.
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(Source: TikTok video)
They really need to load back to front, then unload front to back, if it was organized it would go so much better. Like announce when each group can stand and get bags and when each can leave.
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You undoubtedly also skip lines at counters because you're special
Waiting in line to purchase something is entirely different from exiting a plane and I'm disappointed that I have to point that out to you.
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There is a faster method of deplaning. Inside-out is faster. All the aisle seats get their stuff and get off. Then middle, then window
Unfortunately it was never implemented because it makes it difficult to charge extra for higher class zones. It's also very difficult to get people to actually do it
wrote last edited by [email protected]Ah yes, the most human deboarding method. Children deboarding on their own. Families separated.
Hundreds of people trying to reunite at the gate all simultaneously.
That won't cause any downstream issues.
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
I just don't (entirely) agree about vacation families. Just like the airlines made their bad with paid checked luggage causing more cabin luggage, they did the same with paid seating. Most families wouldn't care where they sit - so long as they're together.
I male sure we always sit together, but for some, additional 200-500 USD/EUR for the whole trip is significant and may account for a good portion of the holiday budget.
Now one may say that then they shouldn't fly, but why? Again - airlines made this problem.
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(Source: TikTok video)
I've never flown but want to but all this crap news about airlines and people not understanding basic saftey issues is nerve racking.
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Nah y'all just don't hustle enough.
But but but they have a small child- lame excuse for lame breeders, get out the way.
IMHO there should be a child section in back.
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They really need to load back to front, then unload front to back, if it was organized it would go so much better. Like announce when each group can stand and get bags and when each can leave.
But how can they sell priority boarding then? Just think for one minute about the poor airline companies! /s
