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Funny

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
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  • F [email protected]

    It's not an instant switch like you pick up a sport. I believe everybody is bisexual at first, because the genitals work, no matter what sex, however, your soul gets specialized into a direction. I started having fantasies, I accepted those about girls, and rejected those about boys, based on my social norms that my environment gave me. And I became a happy straight guy. I can't prove whether a different environment would have made me different, but I also cannot disprove it.

    O This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #29

    I believe everybody is bisexual at first

    Then you're bisexual. If your "first" instinct was that both genders could be attractive, you're bisexual. But societal pressure convinced you to only seek out heterosexual relationships.

    B F 2 Replies Last reply
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    • obviouslynotbanana@piefed.worldO [email protected]
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      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #30

      Also religion: we gave birth to you so you're automatically sign up to our religion.

      Also also religion: you're free to convert into our religion, but you're not allowed to leave.

      Also also also religion: since you've converted into our religion, you are mandatory to ditch your name and use our system.

      Also also also also religion: send religion police to patrol the street for religious compliance

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      • R [email protected]

        I loved that movie

        thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
        thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #31

        I thought it fell apart in the third act.

        R 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • obviouslynotbanana@piefed.worldO [email protected]
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          aceshigh@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
          aceshigh@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #32

          The only way Christian’s know they’re doing good is when they’re being persecuted. So they do things to create conflict, and they get confirmation bias.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • S [email protected]

            It's projection. It never made sense to me until I realized it's all projection. They think gay people are going door to door exactly like they do.

            They go door to door saying "Have you found Christianity? I've chosen to be Christian and I think it's a great way of life. I think you should choose to be Christian, I think you should raise your children to be Christian, I think we should have a Christian society."

            So they just assume everyone else is going door to door "Have you found gayness? I've chosen to be gay and I think it's a great way of life. I think you should choose to be gay, I think you should raise your children to be gay, I think we should have a gay society."

            Which to us is as ridiculous as going door to door "Have you found left handedness? I've chosen to be left handed and I think it's a great way of life. I think you should choose to be left handed, I think you should raise your children to be left handed, I think we should have a left handed society."

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            wrote last edited by
            #33

            ...I'm so gonna go door to door with pamphlets on gayness.

            heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH 1 Reply Last reply
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            • I [email protected]

              Not to get too serious, given the topic and the community I'm in, but...

              There's a saying along the lines of "You can't reason someone out of a position they did not reason themselves into." And the overwhelming majority of the time, it's completely true.

              Ridiculous as it sounds, there are large numbers of people out there who believe that being gay is a choice. These people legitimately feel like any recognition and representation of homosexuality risks turning people gay.

              You can spend all the time you want asking them when they chose to be straight and logically explaining things to them, it almost certainly will not matter.

              M This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #34

              The response is always "having a choice means you are bisexual."

              I R 2 Replies Last reply
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              • I [email protected]

                Jesus loved his bro's

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                wrote last edited by
                #35

                His bro's what?

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                • obviouslynotbanana@piefed.worldO [email protected]
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                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #36

                  I can't see Mormons without thinking of Orgazmo. For a time, it was free on YouTube as well.

                  S B 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • M [email protected]

                    I can't see Mormons without thinking of Orgazmo. For a time, it was free on YouTube as well.

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                    wrote last edited by
                    #37

                    The book of Mormon is even better. Legitimately had to force myself to breathe through the laughter.

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • S [email protected]

                      It's projection. It never made sense to me until I realized it's all projection. They think gay people are going door to door exactly like they do.

                      They go door to door saying "Have you found Christianity? I've chosen to be Christian and I think it's a great way of life. I think you should choose to be Christian, I think you should raise your children to be Christian, I think we should have a Christian society."

                      So they just assume everyone else is going door to door "Have you found gayness? I've chosen to be gay and I think it's a great way of life. I think you should choose to be gay, I think you should raise your children to be gay, I think we should have a gay society."

                      Which to us is as ridiculous as going door to door "Have you found left handedness? I've chosen to be left handed and I think it's a great way of life. I think you should choose to be left handed, I think you should raise your children to be left handed, I think we should have a left handed society."

                      deathray5@lemmynsfw.comD This user is from outside of this forum
                      deathray5@lemmynsfw.comD This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #38

                      "Have you tried gayness" spuds like a good pick up line for pride

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                      • thebat@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

                        I thought it fell apart in the third act.

                        R This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by
                        #39

                        Oh it had so many problems. I still loved it.

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                        • L [email protected]

                          True, I’ve never had a gay guy wake me up too damned early on a Saturday to talk about sucking dick. But damn Christian’s keep asking me if I found Jesus. Damn it fuckers just admit you lost at hide n seek already!

                          wreckedcarzz@lemmy.worldW This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #40

                          Although if you want someone to talk your ear off about the church of cocks... Never in the morning though, early birds are the work of the devil. Or something like that. Beds are comfy.

                          We have by-weekly lunch meet-ups at Liz's Diner over on main too.

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                          • obviouslynotbanana@piefed.worldO [email protected]
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #41

                            Do not answer the door in your underwear. Apparently that's a crime.

                            F 1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • M [email protected]

                              I can't see Mormons without thinking of Orgazmo. For a time, it was free on YouTube as well.

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #42

                              Orgazmo sounds like a Hentai villain

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                              • S [email protected]

                                Remember how South Park Kanye reacted to the gay fish joke? This guy right here ☝🏻

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                                wrote last edited by
                                #43

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • B [email protected]

                                  Do not answer the door in your underwear. Apparently that's a crime.

                                  F This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #44

                                  No it's not

                                  vindictivejudge@lemmy.worldV 1 Reply Last reply
                                  2
                                  • L [email protected]

                                    True, I’ve never had a gay guy wake me up too damned early on a Saturday to talk about sucking dick. But damn Christian’s keep asking me if I found Jesus. Damn it fuckers just admit you lost at hide n seek already!

                                    J This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #45

                                    I’ve never had a gay guy wake me up too damned early on a Saturday to talk about sucking dick.

                                    Skill issue

                                    A 1 Reply Last reply
                                    3
                                    • obviouslynotbanana@piefed.worldO [email protected]
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #46

                                      I just hand them SubGenius pamphlets and tell them about the good word of our guru, Saint of Sales, J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.

                                      They haven't been back in a while, don't know why...

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • J [email protected]

                                        I’ve never had a gay guy wake me up too damned early on a Saturday to talk about sucking dick.

                                        Skill issue

                                        A This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #47

                                        Tbf I've never had that happen either.

                                        It's Saturday night, not "too damn early on a saturday."

                                        popekingjoe@lemmy.worldP 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • obviouslynotbanana@piefed.worldO [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #48

                                          Mormons are so funny, I legit feel bad for all the people who have been traumatized by these weirdos, but like these children are called "elders."

                                          They have all these weird rules where premarital sex is totally not permissible, but they be fucking, and then be like "its not sex with a condom on" or of course soaking. Like straight faced "I'm saving myself for marriage," and I'm like "we've had sex 6 times this week, Genevieve."

                                          I was at a party in college and this Mormon dude who always did these awkward, overly complicated jive handshakes that felt really violating, was sitting outside upset and depressed holding a half-empty beer. He was like "its all over I've sacrificed everything I believe in, for what? So I can drink a beer at a party??" It was one beer he wasn't even finished with it. Its like relax dude, I'm like 19 and spiraling into alcoholism I think you'll be okay this one time.

                                          Ive heard so many horror stories, but I've only had good and very funny experiences with Mormons. And none of this even gets into the magic underwear or like you get your own planet in the afterlife.

                                          Idk how people believe in this stuff sober

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