Anon dates a 19 y/o
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That's the mindset of plenty of people at 25 or 30 even. I think personal development/priorities are to blame more so than the age gap
Ngl I'm 29 and definitely prefer getting high and watching stuff than actually doing real things.
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What I mean I've been alive a long time. I'm not sure how I was supposed to accrue resources through that though.
Also who wants to date a 19 year old they'd be really annoying.
Maybe you need to flip the idea and date a rich 19y/o Instead
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This is how I perceive the 28 year old to be.
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What I mean I've been alive a long time. I'm not sure how I was supposed to accrue resources through that though.
Also who wants to date a 19 year old they'd be really annoying.
The question is “why would anyone want to date someone much younger than them (presumably up to a couple decades)?” not specifically about dating a 19 year old.
Not everyone can accrue a bunch of resources over time of course. But your odds of doing so are much better in your working years than when you’re in school.
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All agreed! At 52 I considered a relationship with a 26-yo friend. If she didn't have 3 tiny children, maybe? But no, just couldn't see it working. I'd be 80 and her at 54? I'd be robbing her of her youth when she could have had a younger man to share that life with.
Funny enough, my Filipino wife is 6-months older than I, and she was fucking horrified to learn that. Her friends are all married to white dudes 20+ years older. Cultural thing.
Sometimes trading partnership for security is the way people go. I'm not saying it can't work, but it's rare that those partnerships are equal. The power imbalance is on display.
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I missed my entire life. It's not all about that. Though I also regret not experiencing what everyone else did. The mistakes, the heartbreaks, you know, normal people stuff, that's mostly FOMO. What really sucks is I actually missed out on almost everything that makes life worth living. So, now I'm just in the mindset that I should just treat the good things of this world as false, and something that is meant for rich/normal people.
I'm just here to work, and fight. I need to make sure no one else ends up the same, ever again. Until then, there's no point in resting.
So I went back to seeing myself as unimportant, and putting my mission first.
So I went back to seeing myself as unimportant
If that's how you see yourself, imagine what people think when they don't even know you and meet you for the first time. Focus on what you have to offer other people, not what other people have that you want.
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And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.
They have nothing in common. There's no way. It's pure physical attraction above all else.
Edit: Seemingly a lot of older people down voting this are in denial about how much they have in common with some 18 year old girl/guy as a romantic partner. You understand you're not fooling anyone, right? Not even other people like you. Underneath, you all know what you're about.
A lot of people are downvoting this because a 19 year old is an adult who can make their own choices and you are insinuating that there's something so objectively wrong with dating an older person that it should be illegal.
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A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…
I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.
I agree with this. For me, so so much integral growth happens between ages 20 and 26-28 or so, and I don't really think people in general know who they are or what they want in life until then. Not true for everyone of course. All the people I know who married young are either divorced or super unhappy though so it may skew my perception a bit.
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Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.
They do it because the primary motivation they have for seeking the "relationship", for lack of a better word, is mostly concerned with indulging in the form/condition/use of the person's body and has little concern for the form/condition/use of the their personality.
This means, of course, that any other time they have to spend with the person, that doesn't involve indulging in hedonistic physical pursuits, will be a constant reminder that they have little in common with, and no interest in, the mind/personality of the person they're diddling at all.
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Reading brainrot girlfriend has made me desire this.
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Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.
younger partners are easier to control.
and less worldly experience means they won't notice their dull personality.
lack of maturity and life milestones to date similar age ranges.
over emphasis on bodily needs.
and i repeat, control.
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Maybe she was rich and could stay high and watch musicals for the rest of her life. What a lucky girl she was.
Not in the slightest. She was already 12k in credit card debt when I met her.
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I was barely 23 and am currently dating the same girl I met who was 19. (Its about to be 2 years woo!)
I had just gotten out of military so most girls in my classes were 3-4 years younger and I wasn't interested in dating (I like women a bit older than me) but she wreckingballed into my life because she saw something she wanted and actively attempted to get it.
This is the best relationship I've ever had but I won't deny that sometimes the response I get to something serious and wanting to plan ahead is met by my partner suggesting I move into the city (alone) to be closer just so she knows what it's like to have a boyfriend in the city.
Her focuses right now are being young and getting her excitement now before she has to square away. She used to think everyone has a stoner era and that was just what people did, so she was surprised how anti-drug/vice I was.
The mental divide is definitely something I would warn people about when dating with age differences.I dont understand the guys that date fresh 18 year olds in their near 30's, I know its legal but I genuinely dont understand what a 30 year old would find so interesting about an 18 year old other than just trying to bang/control them.
I'm 41. The idea of dating anyone below 30 is a no-go let alone an 18 year old. I agree that anyone above 30 going for fresh high school grads is strictly in it for the unequal power dynamics and questionable sexual proclivities.
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People make life choices based on how things are, not how they ought to be.
Generally a “gold digger” refers to a young woman who marries an elderly rich man with the intent of gaining a large inheritance, not a young woman who marries an established (but still working) man a few decades her senior with the intent of raising a family. A big “gold digger tell” is that the rich guy already has adult children who end up in a feud with his new young wife (because she represents a threat to their inheritance).
Oh really? I thought it ment a women marring for money in general.
People can do what they want, but women shouldn't have to feel like they have to marry some dude a decade older just to have a decent life and start a family. That's all I'm saying.
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Honestly, because i'm a 20 something year old man with no life experiences and I don't know how to survive on my own. Someone older with more experience who would be willing to teach me would be nice. It's a big ask I guess. I don't really know what else to do. I'm lonely and i'd like to meet someone kind, caring, and beautiful who can be a friend, lover, and teacher if you will. I haven't told anyone this because it makes me sound desperate and like a lost cause.
Ah, I see. I understand. That's a big part of why I like older partners too.
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So I went back to seeing myself as unimportant
If that's how you see yourself, imagine what people think when they don't even know you and meet you for the first time. Focus on what you have to offer other people, not what other people have that you want.
It's just even when I'm focused on other people, anything I can do, is just second rate to the average person. If they try, they can always do it better than me.
I am temporary support for most people who are friends with me. I do a good thing here and there, and after that dries out, they lose interest.
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It's just even when I'm focused on other people, anything I can do, is just second rate to the average person. If they try, they can always do it better than me.
I am temporary support for most people who are friends with me. I do a good thing here and there, and after that dries out, they lose interest.
Who told you there was anything at all you could do in your life that there wouldn't be something better than you at? Why do you let that stop you from doing anything?
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Who told you there was anything at all you could do in your life that there wouldn't be something better than you at? Why do you let that stop you from doing anything?
I have friends I worry about daily, which sometimes gets in the way of self-improvement. I have a very rigid schedule that I'm like, failing right now. I work 9 hours a day, and get up at 5 AM. I have to pay off my mother's debt, or she is screwed. She works for an abusive company, and I put up with abuse in order to get her out.
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Oh really? I thought it ment a women marring for money in general.
People can do what they want, but women shouldn't have to feel like they have to marry some dude a decade older just to have a decent life and start a family. That's all I'm saying.
Sure, they shouldn’t, but that’s life now. You gotta have a lot of money to have children today.
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A lot of people are downvoting this because a 19 year old is an adult who can make their own choices and you are insinuating that there's something so objectively wrong with dating an older person that it should be illegal.
I am not in any way suggesting it should be illegal. I don't think I mentioned that once.
What I am insinuating that if you're that young dating someone much older, there is almost always a massive power imbalance between the two in the relationship, romantically, and so it's a very difficult thing to overcome.
If you're a 30/40/50+ year old person dating a 19 year old, there is usually something wrong with one party, the other, or both in that scenario. A 19 year old, romantically, is not mature enough or at the same place in their life as a 50 year old person. This will, at best, strain the relationship significantly as each partner will want something different out of life as the relationship progresses.
If they don't, then one of them is likely a deeply broken individual. And that's usually going to be the much older person that's got some issues happening.
The 19 year old truly doesn't know any better, or thinks they do, or is getting something in trade like security from the much older person and they're willing to give up other aspects of their life in trade for this.
