Anon dates a 19 y/o
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I dated a 19 year old at 22 and even in that relatively minor gap there was palpable divide in mindset and priorities. I was looking to start a career and get my life established. She graduated high school a few month prior to turning 19 and just wanted to get high and watch musicals.
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When you have heart procedures/ surgery, they tell you, "no sex for 6 weeks with your spouse, 8 weeks with anyone else." Theres science backing up the extra strain/excitement of having sex with someone else
But honey, the doctor said I could have sex with other women if I waited 8 weeks after the surgery, so it's not cheating!
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This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.
They have nothing in common. There's no way. It's pure physical attraction above all else.
Edit: Seemingly a lot of older people down voting this are in denial about how much they have in common with some 18 year old girl/guy as a romantic partner. You understand you're not fooling anyone, right? Not even other people like you. Underneath, you all know what you're about.
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It had to be a thing before how I met your mother, I remember it being a thing during school in the 80-90’s
Totally fair, lots of folks have chimed in about it. Really interesting to see it's over 100 years old (although more focused on ideal partner, not avoiding being creepy)
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No one knows the true origin of the idea but there's a number of examples that predate how I met your mother by over a hundred years.
The first published example is Max O'Rell in Her Royal Highness, Woman: And His Majesty—Cupid from 1901
I heard the other day a very good piece of advice, which I should like to repeat here, as I endorse it thoroughly : A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven. Try it at whatever age you like, and you will find it works very well, taking for granted all the while that, after all, a man as well as a woman is the age that he looks and feels.
Interesting stuff thanks for adding. I added an edit to address. Appreciate you chiming in
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And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.
They have nothing in common. There's no way. It's pure physical attraction above all else.
Edit: Seemingly a lot of older people down voting this are in denial about how much they have in common with some 18 year old girl/guy as a romantic partner. You understand you're not fooling anyone, right? Not even other people like you. Underneath, you all know what you're about.
Or both sides like to learn from each other and grow towards each other over time?
There are worse reasons why an extreme age gap is seen as creepy, "not knowing each others interests" is not one of them.
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And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.
They have nothing in common. There's no way. It's pure physical attraction above all else.
Edit: Seemingly a lot of older people down voting this are in denial about how much they have in common with some 18 year old girl/guy as a romantic partner. You understand you're not fooling anyone, right? Not even other people like you. Underneath, you all know what you're about.
I'm 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.
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Exactly, this "rule" is really just equivalent to other forms of snake oil there is. It is baseless and completely made up.
Found Leo's account.
Seriously though why so hostile about this? Of course it's made up, it's a general rule of thumb, and it describes whether people are likely to look at a couple and say, "ew".
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I dated a 19 year old at 22 and even in that relatively minor gap there was palpable divide in mindset and priorities. I was looking to start a career and get my life established. She graduated high school a few month prior to turning 19 and just wanted to get high and watch musicals.
I was barely 23 and am currently dating the same girl I met who was 19. (Its about to be 2 years woo!)
I had just gotten out of military so most girls in my classes were 3-4 years younger and I wasn't interested in dating (I like women a bit older than me) but she wreckingballed into my life because she saw something she wanted and actively attempted to get it.
This is the best relationship I've ever had but I won't deny that sometimes the response I get to something serious and wanting to plan ahead is met by my partner suggesting I move into the city (alone) to be closer just so she knows what it's like to have a boyfriend in the city.
Her focuses right now are being young and getting her excitement now before she has to square away. She used to think everyone has a stoner era and that was just what people did, so she was surprised how anti-drug/vice I was.
The mental divide is definitely something I would warn people about when dating with age differences.I dont understand the guys that date fresh 18 year olds in their near 30's, I know its legal but I genuinely dont understand what a 30 year old would find so interesting about an 18 year old other than just trying to bang/control them.
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This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
What does that mean ? mid fr fr ? doesn't fr mean for real ?
Mid must mean "underwhelming"
And big mood ? that's very obscure
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I dated a 19 year old at 22 and even in that relatively minor gap there was palpable divide in mindset and priorities. I was looking to start a career and get my life established. She graduated high school a few month prior to turning 19 and just wanted to get high and watch musicals.
That's the mindset of plenty of people at 25 or 30 even. I think personal development/priorities are to blame more so than the age gap
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I'm 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yeah, I’m in my mid 30’s and my best friend is nearing 50. His oldest child is the same age as my younger brother. Believe it or not, people can have common interests that aren’t entirely reliant on their age.
Though I will say that age becomes less relevant as you get older… A 29 year old dating a 19 year old is pretty universally creepy, but few people would say the same about a 49 year old dating a 39 year old. Same age gap, but it’s assumed that the 39 year old has enough life experience to actually make their own decisions. Even in my mid-20’s, I was looking at 19 year olds as if they were literal children. There’s a lot of maturing that happens in the late teens and early 20’s.
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Yeah, I’m in my mid 30’s and my best friend is nearing 50. His oldest child is the same age as my younger brother. Believe it or not, people can have common interests that aren’t entirely reliant on their age.
Though I will say that age becomes less relevant as you get older… A 29 year old dating a 19 year old is pretty universally creepy, but few people would say the same about a 49 year old dating a 39 year old. Same age gap, but it’s assumed that the 39 year old has enough life experience to actually make their own decisions. Even in my mid-20’s, I was looking at 19 year olds as if they were literal children. There’s a lot of maturing that happens in the late teens and early 20’s.
Half your age + 7 is a reasonable formula for determining creep factor.
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What does that mean ? mid fr fr ? doesn't fr mean for real ?
Mid must mean "underwhelming"
And big mood ? that's very obscure
I think big mood is a relatable mindset
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I'm 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Acquaintances/Friends and "dating" are not the same.
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Acquaintances/Friends and "dating" are not the same.
What if you like having sex with your friends?
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This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
I date/have sex with who I'm physically attracted to. Otherwise I'm OK if we just stay (non-sexual) friends. Us having stuff in common doesn't make me horny for them or want to romance them.
If we have nothing in common because of an age gap, then the sexual relationship becomes a reason to learn about them. As long as we agree with each other on politics.
That said I have no expectations, admittedly atm all I've been getting is one night stands every once in a while and I'd like deeper relationships (I'm poly). But fuck maybe I just wont get one. shrugs I'll just keep trying until I get one.
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I'm 34 dating a 25 year old myself. Which I checked, it passes the "Half your age plus 7" test
(34 / 2 = 17 + 7 = 24)
Sometimes I still feel weird about it thoughHalf plus seven is just a rough rule of thumb, that tries to capture some different concepts at play.
Personally, I never liked dating across major life milestone ages like 22, college graduation. The mid 20's are just an important phase in developing one's personality and sense of self, and being outside of the school environment is an important transition to learn. So when I was 30 I had a hard cutoff at 25, as I didn't want to be with anyone who still identified with being a recent college student.
I felt like a very different person as between 18 and 22, and between 22 and 26. But 26 wasn't that different from 30, and 30 to 35 only saw some slight changes. It'd be hypothetical because I was already in a committed relationship after 32 or so, but when I was 35 my cutoff probably would've been late 20's, and when I was 40 my cutoff would've probably been around 30.
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When you call someone born in the late 1990s a boomer though. It might be "hip" or "trendy" to do. But Boomers were born in the 50s man. Young kids calling adults from different generations "Boomers" just makes you sound like you didn't pay attention in history class.
Language transforms. Where before boomer would be a word for the generation born during the babyboom, nowadays it's used for old people who are unable to keep up with the times.
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I was barely 23 and am currently dating the same girl I met who was 19. (Its about to be 2 years woo!)
I had just gotten out of military so most girls in my classes were 3-4 years younger and I wasn't interested in dating (I like women a bit older than me) but she wreckingballed into my life because she saw something she wanted and actively attempted to get it.
This is the best relationship I've ever had but I won't deny that sometimes the response I get to something serious and wanting to plan ahead is met by my partner suggesting I move into the city (alone) to be closer just so she knows what it's like to have a boyfriend in the city.
Her focuses right now are being young and getting her excitement now before she has to square away. She used to think everyone has a stoner era and that was just what people did, so she was surprised how anti-drug/vice I was.
The mental divide is definitely something I would warn people about when dating with age differences.I dont understand the guys that date fresh 18 year olds in their near 30's, I know its legal but I genuinely dont understand what a 30 year old would find so interesting about an 18 year old other than just trying to bang/control them.
In our modern world, i often forget that some guys like to date older too. I have a crush on a guy a couple years younger than me and have just kind of not done anything because we are coworkers and I fear he'll reject me for who i am, but thanks for the reminder
