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  3. Anon dates a 19 y/o

Anon dates a 19 y/o

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  • T [email protected]

    Acquaintances/Friends and "dating" are not the same.

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    wrote last edited by
    #66

    What if you like having sex with your friends?

    T W 2 Replies Last reply
    3
    • early_to_risa@sh.itjust.worksE [email protected]
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      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #67

      I date/have sex with who I'm physically attracted to. Otherwise I'm OK if we just stay (non-sexual) friends. Us having stuff in common doesn't make me horny for them or want to romance them.

      If we have nothing in common because of an age gap, then the sexual relationship becomes a reason to learn about them. As long as we agree with each other on politics.

      That said I have no expectations, admittedly atm all I've been getting is one night stands every once in a while and I'd like deeper relationships (I'm poly). But fuck maybe I just wont get one. shrugs I'll just keep trying until I get one.

      S underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU 2 Replies Last reply
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      • Q [email protected]

        I'm 34 dating a 25 year old myself. Which I checked, it passes the "Half your age plus 7" test

        (34 / 2 = 17 + 7 = 24)
        Sometimes I still feel weird about it though

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        wrote last edited by
        #68

        Half plus seven is just a rough rule of thumb, that tries to capture some different concepts at play.

        Personally, I never liked dating across major life milestone ages like 22, college graduation. The mid 20's are just an important phase in developing one's personality and sense of self, and being outside of the school environment is an important transition to learn. So when I was 30 I had a hard cutoff at 25, as I didn't want to be with anyone who still identified with being a recent college student.

        I felt like a very different person as between 18 and 22, and between 22 and 26. But 26 wasn't that different from 30, and 30 to 35 only saw some slight changes. It'd be hypothetical because I was already in a committed relationship after 32 or so, but when I was 35 my cutoff probably would've been late 20's, and when I was 40 my cutoff would've probably been around 30.

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        • L [email protected]

          When you call someone born in the late 1990s a boomer though. It might be "hip" or "trendy" to do. But Boomers were born in the 50s man. Young kids calling adults from different generations "Boomers" just makes you sound like you didn't pay attention in history class.

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          wrote last edited by
          #69

          Language transforms. Where before boomer would be a word for the generation born during the babyboom, nowadays it's used for old people who are unable to keep up with the times.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • D [email protected]

            I was barely 23 and am currently dating the same girl I met who was 19. (Its about to be 2 years woo!)

            I had just gotten out of military so most girls in my classes were 3-4 years younger and I wasn't interested in dating (I like women a bit older than me) but she wreckingballed into my life because she saw something she wanted and actively attempted to get it.

            This is the best relationship I've ever had but I won't deny that sometimes the response I get to something serious and wanting to plan ahead is met by my partner suggesting I move into the city (alone) to be closer just so she knows what it's like to have a boyfriend in the city.

            Her focuses right now are being young and getting her excitement now before she has to square away. She used to think everyone has a stoner era and that was just what people did, so she was surprised how anti-drug/vice I was.
            The mental divide is definitely something I would warn people about when dating with age differences.

            I dont understand the guys that date fresh 18 year olds in their near 30's, I know its legal but I genuinely dont understand what a 30 year old would find so interesting about an 18 year old other than just trying to bang/control them.

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            wrote last edited by
            #70

            In our modern world, i often forget that some guys like to date older too. I have a crush on a guy a couple years younger than me and have just kind of not done anything because we are coworkers and I fear he'll reject me for who i am, but thanks for the reminder

            R 1 Reply Last reply
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            • S [email protected]

              I'm 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.

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              wrote last edited by
              #71

              Sure, but there's a difference between hanging out with some 20 year olds, and being romantically involved with them.

              The latter requires a hell of a lot of maturity and being in a similar place in life to deal with things life throws at you. The former just requires laughing at some meme together you both find funny.

              T S 2 Replies Last reply
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              • early_to_risa@sh.itjust.worksE [email protected]
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                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                #72

                OP is still on 4chan. Lingo aside I'd say he's in his maturity range.

                P underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU 2 Replies Last reply
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                • H [email protected]

                  What if you like having sex with your friends?

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                  wrote last edited by
                  #73

                  Nothing wrong with that, but they're friends. I get a long with coworkers, clients, etc, but inside a romantic relationship is completely different.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • N [email protected]

                    Sure, but there's a difference between hanging out with some 20 year olds, and being romantically involved with them.

                    The latter requires a hell of a lot of maturity and being in a similar place in life to deal with things life throws at you. The former just requires laughing at some meme together you both find funny.

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                    wrote last edited by
                    #74

                    Lol I got downvoted for saying the same shit. Glad I'm not the only one who can see this.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • M [email protected]

                      Meth does some wild shit to a person’s looks but heroin addicts can look just as fucking gnarly

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                      wrote last edited by
                      #75

                      I'm a city bus driver and I live downtown. I consider myself as a bit of a crackhead effecianado.

                      Of all the crackheads, I like meatheads the best. They're usually polite, aware of their surroundings. And even when they're so deep in it they're experiencing straight up psychosis, usually nonviolent, keep their bodily fluids to themselves.

                      Heroine/fentanyl zombies tie for worst place. Move at the pace of glaciers. Completely apathetic and or unaware to what's going on around them. Until they're not. Then you get violence and or disruptive behavior. They're not great at keeping their bodily fluids to themselves. They also frequently require everyone to stop what they're doing to to check up on them. They'll fall down, off the bus. Stumble into traffic. Sleep so deeply you've gotta check for a pulse and try to determine if their ODing, still alive, or just taking a disco nap. They will then react violently and rudely to your seeing if they're still alive. I fucking hate dopers.

                      And finally we've got good old fashioned drunks. They share most of the characteristics of fentanyl assholes. But they tend to be more disruptive and ass-y. They tie with the fyntanl jerks for biggest drag.

                      I refer to all as crackheads. They'll all lie, steal, and make everyone's life miserable as a matter of course. They're also walking ecological disasters. What with the litter, needles, and human waste they feel blessed to share with the rest of us.

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                      • D [email protected]

                        OP is still on 4chan. Lingo aside I'd say he's in his maturity range.

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                        wrote last edited by
                        #76

                        Also 19 and 29 are both still Gen Z.

                        internetcitizen2@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • early_to_risa@sh.itjust.worksE [email protected]
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                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #77

                          His date:

                          Source: Brainrot Girlfriend

                          Bonus:

                          A O 2 Replies Last reply
                          25
                          • G [email protected]

                            Found Leo's account.

                            Seriously though why so hostile about this? Of course it's made up, it's a general rule of thumb, and it describes whether people are likely to look at a couple and say, "ew".

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                            wrote last edited by
                            #78

                            That's because it's all based on assumptions and projected morals. Commonly treated as a ultimate truth not as a "rule of thumb" as it is destined to be - hostility is built in this "rule".

                            In general, this rule essentially dictates the ethics of independent people. Because of this there is no description, it's a requirement to say "ew".

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • M [email protected]

                              His date:

                              Source: Brainrot Girlfriend

                              Bonus:

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                              wrote last edited by
                              #79

                              Love that we're making imaginary [gen-z/gen alpha/gen whatever the hell arbitrary title] the same way our parents and grandparents made imaginary millennials to get mad at.

                              The Silent Generation called their kids "Generation Me"

                              A Q 2 Replies Last reply
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                              • M [email protected]

                                Yeah, I’m in my mid 30’s and my best friend is nearing 50. His oldest child is the same age as my younger brother. Believe it or not, people can have common interests that aren’t entirely reliant on their age.

                                Though I will say that age becomes less relevant as you get older… A 29 year old dating a 19 year old is pretty universally creepy, but few people would say the same about a 49 year old dating a 39 year old. Same age gap, but it’s assumed that the 39 year old has enough life experience to actually make their own decisions. Even in my mid-20’s, I was looking at 19 year olds as if they were literal children. There’s a lot of maturing that happens in the late teens and early 20’s.

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                                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                #80

                                You mean in the late 20's and early 30's. Not a lot of maturing until 25.

                                Edit: this assumes middle-european living and cultural conditions.

                                R 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • P [email protected]

                                  Also 19 and 29 are both still Gen Z.

                                  internetcitizen2@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #81

                                  Is 30 the oldest genz or the youngest millennial?

                                  P 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    Exactly, this "rule" is really just equivalent to other forms of snake oil there is. It is baseless and completely made up.

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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #82

                                    It matches experiences, if you read the other replies.

                                    S 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • internetcitizen2@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                                      Is 30 the oldest genz or the youngest millennial?

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                                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                      #83

                                      The lines are fuzzy, and that's why we have the term "Zilennial". So let's just toss them into that category and call it a day.

                                      Edit: Wikipedia says the cutoff for Millennials is 1996, which would make OP an older Gen Z. But I still think "Zilennial" is still most fitting.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • early_to_risa@sh.itjust.worksE [email protected]
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #84
                                        > be me 34
                                        > decide to look for a hag around my age
                                        > most of them have at least one kid, usually the annoying kind, and only see you as a babysitter
                                        > same ones are also super focused on their kids, no hobbies, no interests, no life
                                        > most of them seem to be super conservative
                                        > some of them are so bigoted they can only talk about "those people"
                                        > finally found someone who's bearable for more than 20 minutes
                                        > never mind, she's alcoholic
                                        > finally found someone not alcoholic and is bearable for even more time
                                        > never mind, she's both 300+km away and also married
                                        How do I find hot singles on the fediverse? I'm not reinstalling Tinder!
                                        
                                        W 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • gradually_adjusting@lemmy.worldG [email protected]

                                          Gotta look after your ticker if you're going to stay active at that age. Condolences and/or congrats to his wife though.

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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #85

                                          Condolences indeed, he's still alive.

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