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  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Wizards
wizards
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  • lazycog@sopuli.xyzL [email protected]
    This post did not contain any content.
    edgemaster72@lemmy.worldE This user is from outside of this forum
    edgemaster72@lemmy.worldE This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #42

    I would also like the ability to bend reality to my will

    lazycog@sopuli.xyzL 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • tetris11@lemmy.mlT [email protected]

      Can you curse those with extreme wealth with debillitating back pain? The more above the median you are, the more intense. Make sure the cause is entirely known

      lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
      lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #43

      Done with a twist: I can't alter others directly due to the Wizard Code of Ethics, but I have applied a curse to make sure the wealthier you are, the less people you can trust.

      These people can never fully trust anyone. "Does she love me for me?", "is that new guy just kissing my ass or can I open up to them?" will be thoughts so frequent that it will drive them mad the older and lonelier they get.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • M [email protected]

        Unbend my back pretty please!

        lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
        lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #44

        I'm sorry today is all about bending, unbendings only on monday and tuesday between 11:11 - 13:23 😞

        1 Reply Last reply
        2
        • lazycog@sopuli.xyzL [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          L This user is from outside of this forum
          L This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #45

          We're low on milk. Also bananas.

          lazycog@sopuli.xyzL 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • N [email protected]

            deleted

            lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
            lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #46

            But your toaster is already enchanted?! The toaster struggles with your desires, though. Are you sure you truly want a perfect toast? Or are you perhaps in the way of yourself?

            N 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • J [email protected]

              make everyone happy or at least somewhat comfortable, all the time 😄

              lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
              lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #47

              Sadly I can't alter the minds of others directly 😞 but I'll be sure to bring cookies to the library (work) on monday to partially grant your wish!

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • bdonvr@thelemmy.clubB [email protected]

                I wish for another wish

                lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #48

                Great, you broke my staff. Happy now?!

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • A [email protected]

                  I have some milk in the fridge, could you turn it into good cheese?

                  lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                  lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #49

                  Granted, the bacteria are working on it double time. But not faster than that, because the smart little shits unionized.

                  A 1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.comS [email protected]

                    I wish for some kick ass tunes!

                    lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                    lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #50

                    Granted, you have access to the worlds finest of tunes in the palm of your hands: https://radio.garden/

                    swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.comS 1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • K [email protected]

                      Let's try: I want P=NP

                      lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                      lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #51

                      My staff just said P≠NP

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • stinky@redlemmy.comS [email protected]

                        pair of timbs

                        lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                        lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #52

                        I only learned how to conjure crocs 😞

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • S [email protected]

                          Giant Space Laser that automatically zaps the 100 evilest people in the world each day. Determined by who negatively impacted the quality of life of the most people that day.

                          lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                          lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #53

                          Done, but it can't penetrate a specific magical shield (sunscreen) and it's eco friendly so it's a bit slow. Gets faster with time though as the evil people keep doing evil things and unfortunately doesn't discriminate who it zaps 😞 wear your magishields (sunscreen)!

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • bizarroland@lemmy.worldB [email protected]

                            I want you to put a 32-bit buffer into people's brains so that when they're attempting to do evil, when they cross the threshold, it automatically buffer overflows back onto the good side.

                            I want it to be like, "I was going to rape and murder this school bus full of children, but instead I made them cupcakes".

                            lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #54

                            I can't directly alter humans due to the Wizard Code of Ethics 😞 but I know of a warlock...

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • edgemaster72@lemmy.worldE [email protected]

                              I would also like the ability to bend reality to my will

                              lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                              lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #55

                              Wizard school was a scam, just become a sorcerer/ess and save your money.

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L [email protected]

                                We're low on milk. Also bananas.

                                lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                                lazycog@sopuli.xyzL This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #56

                                Oh good because my mana can't handle more than that.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • lazycog@sopuli.xyzL [email protected]

                                  Granted, you have access to the worlds finest of tunes in the palm of your hands: https://radio.garden/

                                  swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #57

                                  Doooope!

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • lazycog@sopuli.xyzL [email protected]

                                    But your toaster is already enchanted?! The toaster struggles with your desires, though. Are you sure you truly want a perfect toast? Or are you perhaps in the way of yourself?

                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                    #58

                                    deleted

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • lazycog@sopuli.xyzL [email protected]

                                      I .. uh .. did I tell you I can conjure a sandwich? Sandwiches are pretty nice. And takes away the helpless feeling we have when we can't directly affect the world in the way we would like to.

                                      A sandwich will restore your energy, give you a sense of control (since you choose what your sandwich is made out of) and encourages you to make noise, sign petitions and spread the word about the dangers of mis/disinformation and why someone would want to spread such information.

                                      Conjure your sandwich, then plant the seed of that truthmeter into the minds of people.

                                      sxan@midwest.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      sxan@midwest.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #59

                                      A sandwich? That was always an option? Heck, I'll take the sandwich!

                                      lazycog@sopuli.xyzL 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • K [email protected]

                                        Let's try: I want P=NP

                                        heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                                        heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #60

                                        could you just make P equal big P please

                                        S 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • lazycog@sopuli.xyzL [email protected]

                                          Granted, you can shapeshift to almost any form, but you should get started with pigeon, cow, a hero, or a pyramid: https://www.yogajournal.com/poses/poses-by-level/beginners-poses

                                          Z This user is from outside of this forum
                                          Z This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #61

                                          If you want to put in considerably less effort my local witch high on the raw weave told me to just prevent the heat death of the universe and wait you will eventually be everything 🙂

                                          lazycog@sopuli.xyzL 1 Reply Last reply
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