Minimum dating standards
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Opposite, I could do that (assuming I could even find said groups, what, newspapers?) for friends but not romantic partners, beyond one of them introducing me to someone. I wouldn't date anyone in the group unless she asked me out because it's my understanding that women don't want to be asked out at the hobby they're "just trying to enjoy" as the complaint often goes. And women, IME, don't often ask people out. It happened to me once, I blew it because I didn't even know how to react lol. Tbf it was kinda on her, I said yes and she didn't follow up with anything. I should have just taken over but I kinda thought she was gonna be like "great friday at 8?" or something but instead I kinda laughed nervously and she just walked away lol.
The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don't need help conversing, I need to know the locations of like groups of nature loving book readers that actively want to chat and how to find their schedule.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don't need help conversing, I need to know the locations of like groups of nature loving book readers that actively want to chat and how to find their schedule.
You say this, but you're also in this thread rejecting advice about how to find people because you don't want to talk to people that you find that way, and telling a story about how you've apparently not followed through with someone who asked you on a date. It sounds like you're self sabotaging by refusing to try.
Edit: and to be clear, my main point in this line of comments is that people with active friendships tend to have a much easier time finding available potential partners. That's an active part of the search strategy.
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The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don't need help conversing, I need to know the locations of like groups of nature loving book readers that actively want to chat and how to find their schedule.
You say this, but you're also in this thread rejecting advice about how to find people because you don't want to talk to people that you find that way, and telling a story about how you've apparently not followed through with someone who asked you on a date. It sounds like you're self sabotaging by refusing to try.
Edit: and to be clear, my main point in this line of comments is that people with active friendships tend to have a much easier time finding available potential partners. That's an active part of the search strategy.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Well so far nobody has given advice related to the actual question, just vague platitudes mostly, like "make friends." "Ok, where they at?" Silence. I don't have problems talking with people, I have problems finding people my age that are looking to chat in person. Again, once I find them, I'm off to the races, but where are they? Nobody wants to just chat anywhere I currently go, so where are these chatty cathys?
That was years ago, I was a young man who has never been "asked out" outright before or since, of course the humorous anecdote included me fumbling it. You sound like you think know a lot about me from one story a decade old, what are you Google Analytics or something?
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I keep hearing people say this. Where are you that you don't have parks? Tennis courts or swimming pools or volleyball beaches? There's a spot near my house, just off a popular running trail, that hosted a "Singles Night" and it was swarming with eligible 20-somethings. There's an outdoor theater in downtown that does free-to-the-public shows every month and a dozen other concert halls and sporting arenas that will happily sell you nosebleed seats for cheap. Nevermind the dating 101 spots - movie theaters, dance clubs, and bowling alleys.
"No more third spaces" has become this suffocating meme that cropped up in the wake of COVID. It's like some time after 2021 everyone just forgot how to take a walk near a large body of water and talk to one another for an hour or three.
Last time I met up with friends in a park, we were interrupted by the cops because you apparently have to pay the city to use the picnic table now.
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Guy I know who is single: "You need to be literally perfect! Tons of money, super athletic, cultured, brilliant, speaking six different languages! It's impossible!"
Girl I know who is single: "Fuck me, I hope this next guy I'm seeing isn't married, can cover his side of the check, and remembered to wash his ass. Although, at this point, two out of three isn't bad."
Do they know each other?
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Opposite, I could do that (assuming I could even find said groups, what, newspapers?) for friends but not romantic partners, beyond one of them introducing me to someone. I wouldn't date anyone in the group unless she asked me out because it's my understanding that women don't want to be asked out at the hobby they're "just trying to enjoy" as the complaint often goes. And women, IME, don't often ask people out. It happened to me once, I blew it because I didn't even know how to react lol. Tbf it was kinda on her, I said yes and she didn't follow up with anything. I should have just taken over but I kinda thought she was gonna be like "great friday at 8?" or something but instead I kinda laughed nervously and she just walked away lol.
The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don't need help conversing, I need to know the locations of like groups of nature loving book readers that actively want to chat and how to find their schedule.
It's a numbers game. Spend enough time with enough people and someone's going to like you. I'm a whale and I've had partners. I was only normal body weight when I met the first one, next few have been after I went over 100 KG and then around 135. Okay last one was a gold digger but the others were when I was poor (which I am again now lol)
Oh and I'm a sarcastic asshole too, so my personality itself is quite an acquired taste too. It does, however, help that I can keep a conversation going regardless of what the topic is or whether I know you.. Especially helps with people who take time to get out of their shells. It's funny because I'm actually an introvert but as long as you don't catch me in recovery mode, you could never tell.
The ADHD also helps though. One of the very few areas where it does.
I do think book clubs are still a thing tho. Maybe you need to move to a bigger town?
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Not really. Do 10 of each on the hour for 10 hours straight.
Oh I thought it'd be 100 in a row lol
If you can do them in groups of 10-20, an overweight 5 year old could handle it probably
I uses to do 20 one handed pushups in a row in high school, but nowadays I'm lucky to get 20 normal ones
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If you write messages to other men about how unreasonable women's dating expectations are and its mostly relating to common male insecurities, there's a pretty good chance you're incel posting or parodying an incel.
Height, abs, balding are all common cishet male insecurities, and largely have nothing to do with finding a girlfriend.
Height is definitely a factor, just go on Tinder lol, used to be that a lot of girls bios would say if you're under 180, don't even try, now they can just use the filter. Not sure about the other 2.
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It's a numbers game. Spend enough time with enough people and someone's going to like you. I'm a whale and I've had partners. I was only normal body weight when I met the first one, next few have been after I went over 100 KG and then around 135. Okay last one was a gold digger but the others were when I was poor (which I am again now lol)
Oh and I'm a sarcastic asshole too, so my personality itself is quite an acquired taste too. It does, however, help that I can keep a conversation going regardless of what the topic is or whether I know you.. Especially helps with people who take time to get out of their shells. It's funny because I'm actually an introvert but as long as you don't catch me in recovery mode, you could never tell.
The ADHD also helps though. One of the very few areas where it does.
I do think book clubs are still a thing tho. Maybe you need to move to a bigger town?
I've had plenty partners, but I met them in the bars I no longer wish to attend regularly due to price of the drinks and that I'm successfully drinking a normal amount and I don't need to be getting drunk every night again. So the question becomes where meet now? Doesn't help that I refuse to be scammed by the spyware dating apps.
We sound pretty damn similar (except I've always been poor haha). ADHD and all.
Book clubs is a maybe but I read on my own time, and only things I'm really interested in (ADHD lol). Still though, how find? Lemmy is my only social media.
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It's my understanding that women don't want to be asked out at such places, the common complaint being that they can't even enjoy their hobby without guys asking them out.
No , but you can talk to them and make friends. Women like dudes who they can interact with and not have to worry about the dude trying to fuck them the instant they let their guard down. If you show up for the activity and focus on having fun and not just to try and get laid it makes you safer to be around. It has to be genuine though people can pick up on it if you have ulterior motives.
I'm not interested in dating but I have female friends who try to introduce me to women when we go out to bars and things like that because they know how I am and trust me not to be an asshole. By comparison there is another dude in our group who is constantly acting thirsty and going after any woman that shows him even the slightest attention. He does not get the same consideration and has been left out of a number of events because of his behavior. I do understand that that can be a difficult thing to shut down sometimes but learning to do it goes a long way.
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If you know a number higher than a HUMDRED I would like to hear it!
Numbers 101: how to count higher than a hundred
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Is the mandatory 100-inch dick just implied/assumed?
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Is the mandatory 100-inch dick just implied/assumed?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Diameter? Yes.
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All you need to be a superhero is 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 km run every day.
You have me curious now. I know for me 10k is about an hour so I'm going to see how long to do 100 squats pushups and situps. I want to say ballpark that's probably about 2 hrs a day for everything together. Bit excessive.
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Opposite, I could do that (assuming I could even find said groups, what, newspapers?) for friends but not romantic partners, beyond one of them introducing me to someone. I wouldn't date anyone in the group unless she asked me out because it's my understanding that women don't want to be asked out at the hobby they're "just trying to enjoy" as the complaint often goes. And women, IME, don't often ask people out. It happened to me once, I blew it because I didn't even know how to react lol. Tbf it was kinda on her, I said yes and she didn't follow up with anything. I should have just taken over but I kinda thought she was gonna be like "great friday at 8?" or something but instead I kinda laughed nervously and she just walked away lol.
The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don't need help conversing, I need to know the locations of like groups of nature loving book readers that actively want to chat and how to find their schedule.
I said yes and she didn’t follow up with anything. I should have just taken over but I kinda thought she was gonna be like “great friday at 8?” or something but instead I kinda laughed nervously and she just walked away lol.
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The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don’t need help conversing,
ok, i swear i don't mean to be asshole, but this right here shows it is exactly what you need. practice makes better.
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Height is definitely a factor, just go on Tinder lol, used to be that a lot of girls bios would say if you're under 180, don't even try, now they can just use the filter. Not sure about the other 2.
used to be that a lot of girls bios would say if you’re under 180, don’t even try,
you should be happy they raise their red flag so clearly so you can avoid them...
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You have made one major assumption here which I feel cannot be overlooked.
Gotta make friends before dating. Having no friends is a big red flag.
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I said yes and she didn’t follow up with anything. I should have just taken over but I kinda thought she was gonna be like “great friday at 8?” or something but instead I kinda laughed nervously and she just walked away lol.
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The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don’t need help conversing,
ok, i swear i don't mean to be asshole, but this right here shows it is exactly what you need. practice makes better.
I know, X myself, like I said it was a decade ago when I was young as shit and has never happened since so I don't blame you for doubting.
As to the second part, you "don't mean to be an asshole," but you are, and judging my entire life and personality from one decades old anecdote is patently stupid, so, you might be that too my guy. Two can play the asshole game <3.
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Yeah well y'know, I work, then I'm too tired to go out, can't afford bars anymore and if I could I'm still too old for that shit.
I do go out to some naturey places when the weather permits (of course it's been hotter than the sun until like this week), but it's not like a naturey meet up I just smoke weed and read a book next to the creek, and look at frogs and shit.
Furthermore, I don't know how these people who say "go to X or Y" even find out that X or Y is happening locally, and where/when. Newspapers? Those still around?
Local newspapers are still a thing, so are bulletin boards at city hall or whatever cultural center you have. (I've seen event listings at bars, libraries, near a fountain, wherever stuff gets hosted)
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used to be that a lot of girls bios would say if you’re under 180, don’t even try,
you should be happy they raise their red flag so clearly so you can avoid them...
Not a lot of room to be picky
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Numbers 101: how to count higher than a hundred
This comment deserves a few more upvotes.
