What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?
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In the northeastern U.S. I've mostly learned to acknowledge them, don't give anything, and move on with my life.
Not sure if it's bad luck or what, but nearly every time I've tried to be nice and offer them something it always backfires. I'll be passing by with some food and they'll ask me for some, I give them some and then they tell me it wasn't enough and to give them all the food I was carrying. Like WTF?
Another time I actually had some change on me so I gave him some and he said it wasn't enough money and started following me, wanted me to go to an ATM so I can take out more money for him. I was forced to tell him to stop following me or I'd have to call the cops.
I have even more stories like that.. going through those motions repeatedly it feels like the homeless have taught me not to give to the homeless. But hopefully your experiences have better outcomes.
I was drunk and in a good mood and a guy asked for $10 to take the bus or something, so I handed him a $20 and said I hope he had a nice evening. Should have been the end of it, right? Nope. "Oh man, if you have $20 more the Lord will bless you and I can get a bus pass and eat. My sister is dying and I need to visit her often and I'm on the streets right now." Stuff like that for like 3 blocks of following me.
Bro... I. Don't. Believe. You. Like, literally, it's probably all bullshit and I knew the first $20 was going to buy booze or drugs. Don't fucking try to shake me down for more.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
What I used to do when I lived in an area with a decent number of homeless people, was offer to get them some food, if I had the time for it. I'd walk somewhere with them, say what do you want I'll grab it for you, and come out and hand it to them. It was honestly a little bit awkward to do it without feeling like a ponce, making conversation with the person or whatnot feeling condescending, but whatever.
I would say the majority would discount the suggestion. I didn't feel the slightest bit bad saying no you can't have any money then. A minority would be really into the idea and clearly fucking light up at the idea of having their hands on a sandwich. Those dudes I felt like it was important that they get their sandwich.
I also knew a guy who used to be homeless, volunteered with homeless services and substance abuse programs and etc, spent a ton of time on it. He never gave money on the street. He got very bitter about the subject, he just said that it doesn't help them. Make of that what you will, I don't really know the ins and outs, but that's what he said.
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I’ve lived in Norway for 5 years now. The only people I see asking for money are well known to locals, and I suspect that the majority of them weren’t born here either and have been forced to do this by someone else, who is perhaps holding their passports? Idk, it’s almost all women or disabled men that… don’t look Norwegian, and they all hive signs with Vipps numbers (cashapp/venmo for those not familiar). There is also one Norwegian guy in town who is always hustling people and tourists with the same story about how he just needs money for the train ride to Voss, so he can go to rehab there.
I came here from San Francisco so it was a huge culture shock to see so few down on their luck, and even then, largely keeping out of your face. I don’t feel threatened, I just feel badly for them.Yeah, there was this trend starting 15-20ish years ago where people from Eastern Europe came here to beg. Apparently it's profitable to travel all the way to set up shop. I never give these people anything. If they truly were so down on their luck as they claim to be, they probably would not be able to invest the necessary resources into traveling across the continent to begin with.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
When I lived in a city I never gave money but I did offer canned or sealed food. I have also given away my used camping gear.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
If I'm entering a place that has food of any kind I'll just ask what they want, I've rarely been asked for something that exceeds $5-10. More often than not they eat, pack up their stuff and leave after that. They feel acknowledged, I feel good for helping and I also hopefully didn't contribute to the drug issue.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
If I can spare it, I share it. I used to be homeless myself and would never have gotten out of that without help. It seems to me I have an obligation to pass that on.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Ignore them.
My city has the programs in place for them to get off the street. All they need to do is go into a program that will get them off drugs and to not use drugs in the provided apartments.
As such, if they are on the street, it is because they value drugs over living.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
If I have money, I give it to them if they aren't raising any danger flags. Like there's one woman who just screams "I'M HUNGRY" at people, and I'm sure that's true, but I don't engage with her because it feels unsafe. There's one whose name I learned, and another couple we recognize each other now.
I used to make good money (low six figures). Giving away $20/week to people asking for it wasn't even noticeable in my budget. I could probably have done $200/week without noticing. I think my peers are just bad at budgeting though.
I've been unemployed for a while now, so I don't always have cash to give. I tell them the truth.
I don't expect people who have nothing to give a lot. But I know many of my six figure salary peers could give without even noticing the money, and they don't. They don't give to charity, either. They just buy video games they don't play, run the AC so they have to wear a hoodie inside, and so on.
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I feed them, get them any medical care they need and help them get into section 8 housing.
And then they introduce me to their friends to do the same for them.
Or they were just trying to play on people’s sympathy for money and avoid me like the plague.
Are you sure you do all those things while you're trying to get from point A to B like the OP, or you're carving out separate time to go do those things? Seems like you couldn't accomplish anything else downtown if you're feeding and arranging medical care and housing for every panhandler you come across.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
May not be the most polite thing to do, but when outside I always wear headphones walk at fast pace and don't hear anyone no matter who speaks to be.
I've noticed that as long as I have my headphones on, even if they aren't playing, most ppl won't speak to me anyway.
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I donate to a charity that I know will help (they've helped family members in the past), Shelter, but I genuinely say to those who ask me around my town that I have no change
I used to give fairly often, but after handing one of the more famous homeless folks in my community a 5 spot and him immediately saying “thanks man, I’m going to go buy a beer with this” I took a hard think and realized I don’t want to enable that lifestyle. I mean a beer is fine every once in a while, but I’d rather see the guy have a safe environment where he can drink it.
So now instead I donate to our local hospitality house every time someone asks me for some change.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I really don't have cash
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You sure this isn't a scene in scary movie?
LMAO it literally is
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Say I don't have it. Say sorry at the same time.
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At home: Nothing. Genuine homelessness isn't really a problem. There's this joke that we have a government programme called "winter" that takes care of this. Truth is, there are actual government programmes in place that takes care of this as well - It is written in law that anyone who cannot afford a place to stay, as well as basic necessities will have this covered.
Abroad: When not in what causes fox news talking heads to clutch their pearls over socialist hellscape societies (Norway), I'm a lot more giving. Plus, I usually carry some currency that I will no longer need once I leave. I especially remember the happy outcry of a beggar I walked past while visiting this developing country. I was on my way to pick up some supplies the last day before heading for home. Repeated "Bless you!"-s once he realized that the stack of leftover cash included quite a few 20$ bills.
In short, he obviously needed them more than I, so I gave what I could.
Oh, and if it counts, I often give to buskers as some of them are actually pretty good.
Norwegians saw this:
And said "What if we weren't stupid and used it for something good"
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.
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Ignore them.
My city has the programs in place for them to get off the street. All they need to do is go into a program that will get them off drugs and to not use drugs in the provided apartments.
As such, if they are on the street, it is because they value drugs over living.
“Just don’t be an addict bro” is a non-solution to homelessness re: no drug use in apartments. Relapse is a normal and expected part of addiction, and expecting them to be perfect or they lose their housing is a great way to make people more likely to relapse.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Homeless people endure constant hardship, abuse and dehumanising behaviour. I might not give money, but I'm careful to avoid dehumanising them.
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You can carry around smaller denominations if you do want to give something.
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If they're close to a convenience store then I offer to go in and buy something for them (tell them a budget and ask about and preferences or restrictions).
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If I'm not going to give anything, I still make eye contact, try to have a sympathetic smile on my face and say something like "I'm sorry, do take care". I don't know if this is dumb or patronising, but I'm trying to avoid being dehumanising as the constant response they get is for people to avoid eye contact, walk around with a wide gap or ignore completely. I want to try to at least acknowledge and respond.
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To be fair - there are also homeless people who never did drugs or drank (or gambled and so on) in the first place. Because of that they actually don't qualify for any of those programs.
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May not be the most polite thing to do, but when outside I always wear headphones walk at fast pace and don't hear anyone no matter who speaks to be.
I've noticed that as long as I have my headphones on, even if they aren't playing, most ppl won't speak to me anyway.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I used to take public transportation and wore those big, over-the-ear headphones (can’t stand the piss poor audio quality of earbuds) and for whatever reason it attracted more people trying to talk to me. I never understood that.
