What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I usually don't give money, but once a year give 100€ or so to our local homeless support organization, who are also regularly giving out meals and coffee.
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Homeless people endure constant hardship, abuse and dehumanising behaviour. I might not give money, but I'm careful to avoid dehumanising them.
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You can carry around smaller denominations if you do want to give something.
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If they're close to a convenience store then I offer to go in and buy something for them (tell them a budget and ask about and preferences or restrictions).
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If I'm not going to give anything, I still make eye contact, try to have a sympathetic smile on my face and say something like "I'm sorry, do take care". I don't know if this is dumb or patronising, but I'm trying to avoid being dehumanising as the constant response they get is for people to avoid eye contact, walk around with a wide gap or ignore completely. I want to try to at least acknowledge and respond.
Right, I feel like a total ass ignoring them because its just mean. But I also feel like if youre too friendly they think you're an easy person to rob as well...and im not a scary looking person. If i was it would help
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Where I live, there isn’t much walking, but the homeless stand at intersections and hold signs and look at you while you wait on the light to change.
My wife, who is a much better person than I, will keep $5 McDonald’s gift cards in her vehicle and sometimes hand those out. She says that there is a McDonald’s within walking distance of almost anywhere in town, and that $5 is enough to get a couple of things off the value menu and a free cup of water. If they’re really homeless and hungry, at least they will have something to eat.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Very similar here. That is genius!! Beause i also feel dumb giving someone 5 dollars they are going to go spend on a steelhouse reserve instantly....very common here.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I give them negative five dollar bills so they actually owe me moneys. Gotta love UOIs!
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I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).
Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.
I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...
- Donate that money to food banks and other causes
- Not carry around unnecessary change
- Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
- And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car
As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.
If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.
Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yeah. Unfortunately it feels like the homeless situation further encourages mass car culture because youre a lot safer in there than walking at night especially if youre small or a woman.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Give them some cash, if I have a little extra. I recommend carrying a little change if you live in an area with regular homeless folks.
I used to bring a particular homeless guy who hung around my block a sandwich on my way to work, and a beer when walking my dog on Friday nights (if I saw him, for either occurrence). That was all when I lived in a different city though.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I don't usually have cash so I say "sorry I don't have any" and move on. I also volunteer my time with various local orgs so I don't feel bad
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I ask them to come inside the store and I’ll buy them some food.
If they decline, oh well. If they agree, I happily pay for some food for them.
Some of these encounters have broke my heart, others have just reiterated what most people assume when it comes to these things.
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Oh no, about 80% of them when asked refuse the housing outright. Its not a matter of them slipping through the very real cracks.
Its that they want to do drugs. Also note: it wasnt do zero drugs. It was dont do drugs in the provided housing. We have safe injection sites for that.
Can I get a source on any of those claims?
80% of people refusing free housing is suspect if literally the only condition is ‘don’t do drugs in it’ and there are safe injection spots nearby. Safe injection spots don’t help someone who has to take 2 buses and an hour to get there.
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Right, I feel like a total ass ignoring them because its just mean. But I also feel like if youre too friendly they think you're an easy person to rob as well...and im not a scary looking person. If i was it would help
I personally consider the risk of being robbed to be very very low in my city/country. And if it's the kind of person who would rob you, then I don't think that will change on the basis of how you respond.
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I don't usually have cash so I say "sorry I don't have any" and move on. I also volunteer my time with various local orgs so I don't feel bad
Same here. I’ve occasionally followed up with “I’ll buy you a lunch” but never had a taker.
I almost never see panhandlers anymore. At least some of it is the way my routine changed with COVID but I wonder if it’s a trend. If so many people no longer carry cash that it’s not even worth it anymore
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LMAO it literally is
Word for word lol
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Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.
Good point. While I never had that happen …. Last winter I used it as an excuse not to hire some teens who were shoveling driveways. But they had Venmo. Dammit
I wasn’t even that unwilling: it’s mostlyvthey were too late. I was already out there and had already shoveled enough snow to get my snowblower out
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Probably is, but it also happened in my city. My city’s gone to meth in a real bad way.
Fair enough
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LMAO it literally is
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i actually give to those who do not ask
like a lady in the subway, visibly mentally challenged with all her belongings, drawing and
strikingwords in her notepad. she made me sad, so i gave her a bill when leaving the train. her face became lightened when she saw it, she said thank you and I leftsometimes I leave at where they sleep like under pillow next to head
wrote last edited by [email protected]This is a great idea. Some of us are wary of being ripped off by a scammer and there are some of those. But those few scammers will likely be the most aggressive. Someone just existing in need will NOT be a scammer. This seems like a great way to be sure you’re actually helping someone who needs it
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Right, I feel like a total ass ignoring them because its just mean. But I also feel like if youre too friendly they think you're an easy person to rob as well...and im not a scary looking person. If i was it would help
Interestingly the only time I had a homeless guy threatening me he was actually interested in my dog and he may not have actually been intentionally threatening.
When he asked to pet my dog, I said ok but to take it slow and easy because she was a rescue that didn’t trust people. He proceeded to spent like ten minutes saying he wasn’t worried because he had a knife.
I probably should have taken it much more seriously but this was a festival with people and police all over ….. and my dog is pretty good at scaring people
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I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).
Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.
I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...
- Donate that money to food banks and other causes
- Not carry around unnecessary change
- Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
- And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car
As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.
If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.
Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.
Plus there’s the problem of literally giving them a quarter. I used to empty my pockets out for the first person I saw on my way out of work. But too often they would just throw change on the ground and get mad.
I get that they hoped for more but it is something and is what I hsd
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Where I live, there isn’t much walking, but the homeless stand at intersections and hold signs and look at you while you wait on the light to change.
My wife, who is a much better person than I, will keep $5 McDonald’s gift cards in her vehicle and sometimes hand those out. She says that there is a McDonald’s within walking distance of almost anywhere in town, and that $5 is enough to get a couple of things off the value menu and a free cup of water. If they’re really homeless and hungry, at least they will have something to eat.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Where I live, the local paper did an expose about some of those people being scammers. Most are truly in need and deserve any help we can give. But you need to be more skeptical of the most aggressive or the ones with the best spots. There’s only a small number of scammers but they will drive away the truly needy when they can find a profitable intersection
I like the one guy here with a practice of giving only to those who aren’t actively panhandling.
But that reminds me, it’s been too long since I donated to services for the needy
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I don't really carry cash due to devaluation of currency in my country(our biggest banknote can buy 1 kg of chicken as a reference) but I typically carry some biscuits with me, so I'd offer it.
