Starmer under pressure from biggest backers to unpick Brexit after Trump tariffs
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Referendums don't always work, so instead we should throw Nigel Farage into the sea.
If he drowns, we apply to join the EU.
If he floats, we fish him out of the sea and try and set him on fire. If he burns, we apply to join the EU. If he doesn't burn, we "nexit" him with a guillotine and apply to join the EU.This seems pretty one sided with various ways to control the system to get what you want. I propose adding external elements to make things fair.
Such as throw fartage into a lion's enclosure. If they eat him we join the EU.
If not then we find a pit of alligators/crocs and throw him into that.
If he survives that then it's to the tank of piranha and let him have a week in there etc etc until we join.It's the only way for it to be fair and democratic.
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Summary
Keir Starmer faces growing pressure from Labour’s key financial backers, trade unions, and business leaders to forge closer UK-EU ties after Trump’s new tariffs sparked economic concerns.
The U.S. imposed a 10% tariff on the UK and 25% on key sectors, endangering 25,000 UK car jobs.
A TUC poll shows 66% of Britons now support stronger EU ties. Labour MPs and pro-EU groups argue Starmer’s Brexit red lines are outdated.
Critics warn ignoring EU alignment risks deeper economic damage.
I don't see them coming back if they can't keep the Pound
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This seems pretty one sided with various ways to control the system to get what you want. I propose adding external elements to make things fair.
Such as throw fartage into a lion's enclosure. If they eat him we join the EU.
If not then we find a pit of alligators/crocs and throw him into that.
If he survives that then it's to the tank of piranha and let him have a week in there etc etc until we join.It's the only way for it to be fair and democratic.
These are very sensible and fair plans - though you have to be careful not to make it too much fun, else people might be inclined to say "delay the EU application another month, next week they're throwing Farage in with some bears! I must see that!".
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Referendums don't always work, so instead we should throw Nigel Farage into the sea.
If he drowns, we apply to join the EU.
If he floats, we fish him out of the sea and try and set him on fire. If he burns, we apply to join the EU. If he doesn't burn, we "nexit" him with a guillotine and apply to join the EU.What if he does a Harold Holt and mysteriously vanishes, never to be seen again?
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What if he does a Harold Holt and mysteriously vanishes, never to be seen again?
That's a very good question. I think in that case we have to assume "drowned: apply to join the EU". If he turns up mysteriously alive at a later date, we can set fire to him etc "in arrears".
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The Breturn?
Great Breturnia.
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Referendums don't always work, so instead we should throw Nigel Farage into the sea.
If he drowns, we apply to join the EU.
If he floats, we fish him out of the sea and try and set him on fire. If he burns, we apply to join the EU. If he doesn't burn, we "nexit" him with a guillotine and apply to join the EU.Weren't such sacrifices traditionally done into volcanoes?
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I don't see them coming back if they can't keep the Pound
Tbf we almost certainly can, just play the Swedish game of perpetually slightly not complying with euro requirements.
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Weren't such sacrifices traditionally done into volcanoes?
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By some traditions, yes. Volcanic sacrifice was particularly popular in the Victorian Era, for example. Unfortunately for fans of the method (and fortunately for those who live in these areas) most of the best volcanoes were in the outer territories of the former British Empire, which are now independent.
I'm sure Ben Nevis is due another pop any time now, but until then "1, 2, 3, into the sea!"
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Summary
Keir Starmer faces growing pressure from Labour’s key financial backers, trade unions, and business leaders to forge closer UK-EU ties after Trump’s new tariffs sparked economic concerns.
The U.S. imposed a 10% tariff on the UK and 25% on key sectors, endangering 25,000 UK car jobs.
A TUC poll shows 66% of Britons now support stronger EU ties. Labour MPs and pro-EU groups argue Starmer’s Brexit red lines are outdated.
Critics warn ignoring EU alignment risks deeper economic damage.
Any significantly stronger ties required Freedom Of Movement (basically to be inside the Single Market, even as a non-EU-member, means having all rules necessary for it to be a free and open market, which includes Freedom Of Movement), which was one of the main reasons the Brexiters won - like in the US now, Britain's very own rise of the Far-Right by taking over their mainstream conservative party some years ago was also mainly anchored on racism.
I'm quite curious how many of those 66% of Britons would still be alright with stronger EU ties if that meant that Poles could once again immigrate to Britain at will.
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I don't see them coming back if they can't keep the Pound
There are ways to be part of the Single Market and all that goes with it without becoming an EU member, for example by becoming a member of the EEA like Norway.
They would be able to keep the Pound that way, as well as a number of other things such as controlling the fishing rights in their own waters.
They would however have to accept Freedom Of Movement, which was one of the main arguments for Leave during a Referendum which was very much a mix of racism and fantastical expectations of keeping most of the rights even after leaving the EU (Britain has major problems with widespread nationalistic delusions of grandeurs, so lots of people believed all the fantasies about "they will give us all we want")
