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  1. Home
  2. Not The Onion
  3. New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Not The Onion
nottheonion
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  • J [email protected]

    We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

    robotzap10000@feddit.nlR This user is from outside of this forum
    robotzap10000@feddit.nlR This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #53

    But where are we supposed to find dirt-cheap labor if we eradicate poverty?! Won't someone think of the shareholders?

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • S [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      A This user is from outside of this forum
      A This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #54

      Now poopin #2573819 analyzing.... Not mouse based on diameter, not horse due to consistency, not human or dog according to length. Cow not detected via splat-o-meter measuring system.

      Wombat detected!

      Geometry based wombat detection system has detect wombat poop. 50% confidence. It could also be Lego.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • D [email protected]

        What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?

        jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
        jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
        #55

        Hopefully with a strong passphrase too. I don't want my mother in law to see my poop history when they come over.

        Edit: actually, I don't want to see theirs either 😧

        1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • M [email protected]

          During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.

          jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
          jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #56

          Covid is still a pandemic and sewage is still being tested to monitor for spikes of cases in countries which have stopped funding rapid antigen tests

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          • R [email protected]

            I don't want Big Tech having access to my sacred turd data

            jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
            jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #57

            I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I'm sure all the analysis can be done locally

            W 1 Reply Last reply
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            • I [email protected]

              Wait, are you the AI?

              R This user is from outside of this forum
              R This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #58

              Yeah. Don't even need a real algorithm to make me. I'll just repeat the same thing

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • J [email protected]

                We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

                A This user is from outside of this forum
                A This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #59

                But everyone doesn't want to live in a post-scarcity society. Lack of survival challenge leads to mental degradation.

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                0
                • S [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #60

                  Just a screen that says, "corn again, huh?"

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    _ This user is from outside of this forum
                    _ This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #61

                    I'm honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    5
                    • S [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      nutwrench@lemmy.mlN This user is from outside of this forum
                      nutwrench@lemmy.mlN This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #62

                      Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?

                      A 1 Reply Last reply
                      7
                      • S [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #63

                        Not even your shittiest moments will be out of reach for the AI.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • S [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                          scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #64

                          Smart pipe?

                          B stardustsystem@lemmy.worldS 2 Replies Last reply
                          5
                          • jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ [email protected]

                            I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I'm sure all the analysis can be done locally

                            W This user is from outside of this forum
                            W This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #65

                            How will line go up then? Tech isn't cheap to research/implement and investors will require returns asap. At least here in the US 🫠

                            jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.orgS [email protected]

                              Smart pipe?

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #66

                              They just need to find their own Scout Condor and they'll have everyone checking the nitrates in their stool.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • S [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                P This user is from outside of this forum
                                P This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                #67

                                I have nothing against this in principle, but you just know that this too will be an enshittified product, literally and figuratively .

                                It'll sell your health data, etc etc etc.

                                This would only be an acceptable product if open source, period (and that too might and probably will be analyzed)

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.orgS [email protected]

                                  Smart pipe?

                                  stardustsystem@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  stardustsystem@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #68

                                  Smart Pipe.

                                  m0op0o@mander.xyzM 1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • S [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #69

                                    Based out of — where else — Austin, Throne is a bold new startup leveraging AI to revolutionize the way we interact with our toilet.

                                    Am I out if the loop on poop jokes and Austin?

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • S [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      L This user is from outside of this forum
                                      L This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                      #70

                                      Ahh, Perry the Platypus, you're just in time to see my new Turdinator-inator!

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • nutwrench@lemmy.mlN [email protected]

                                        Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?

                                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #71

                                        It's out of magenta.

                                        S 1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • W [email protected]

                                          How will line go up then? Tech isn't cheap to research/implement and investors will require returns asap. At least here in the US 🫠

                                          jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          jagged_circle@feddit.nlJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #72

                                          This isnt complicated tech. should be pretty easy for some poop enthusiast to hack up an open source version.

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