So proud!
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garage
Is that a typo or is there a definition of garage that is synonymous with bloviate that my dictionary doesn't list?
Don't you garage to me!
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As someone with friends and family on the spectrum, my best tip:
Take a moment to breathe when you've completed a thought related to what you're explaining, and look at the other person to see if they have information to share, questions, or just to express what they know.
This helped a few folks pace themselves, and the break for others they believe helped in not appearing condescending.
Hope this helps!
This is accurate! With my wife, I go on rapid fire about topics and shes so used to it, she interrupts me to tell me to read the room.
It took me a long time to get better at actively scan the other person to gauge their interest, as well as knowing how to ask questions that open up the conversation. I even used to carry a stop watch to time how long I spoke, because I would go on and on.
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It's my ADHD, just call me a spaz or a retard like everyone else, don't bother being condescending because I'll miss it and think you're my friend when you clearly are not.
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Did she get his name wrong on purpose?
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English already haz gender-neutral words for this. For an adjective, we have "condescending". For a verb, we have pontificate, garage, bloviate, bluster, rant, etc.
Language changes and evolves over time, so we could also make a new word for this phenomenon. "Mansplaining" is unnecessary gendered slur.
"Language changes and evolves over time, so we could also make a new word for this phenomenon."
We did, you just don't like it.
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gotta love how every time there is a woman voiceing an opinion thats critizising men just in the slightest, the comments are filled makeing sure we know "bUT Not aLL MeN"
hot take: if you feel the need to defend yourself from such takes, maybe its time for some self-reflection
I'm not a big fan of the term but I understand how it came about.
Yes, when women are being talked over and condescended to it's usually by men. Not all men, no. We're not talking about conversations or people just explaining things, we're talking about working three times as hard for the same amount of respect, and knowing there's a certain percentage of the population who will never change their minds about women.
Women talk about their frustration and men complain they didn't cause it. They think they're in this picture but they weren't... until they decided it was a personal attack.
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"Language changes and evolves over time, so we could also make a new word for this phenomenon."
We did, you just don't like it.
Yes.
There's a lot of words people have created that have been deemed hateful, bigoted, and harmful. We call these "slurs".
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gotta love how every time there is a woman voiceing an opinion thats critizising men just in the slightest, the comments are filled makeing sure we know "bUT Not aLL MeN"
hot take: if you feel the need to defend yourself from such takes, maybe its time for some self-reflection
By the way, did you see that bodycam footage last week? It was all black people! must mean i should be wary of all blacks forever now, i guess
::: spoiler spoiler
/s, because some people will obviously not get it
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I explain basic things to anyone if they sound or act like they don't know.
What was the deal with the Punic Wars again?
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I hate how the term "mansplaining" has mutated from "When a man condescendingly explains a subject to a woman who is an expert in that subject, because he assumes being a woman makes her ignorant", which is certainly a valid thing to be upset about, into "Whenever a man explains anything to any woman" , which is sexist and divisive.
The term is still pretty sexist as originally used though. It inherently implies that it's a characteristic masculine behavior. If you disagree, allow me to demonstrate:
I just came up with this term, "womancomplaining", it's when a woman exaggerates a minor inconvenience into a targeted victimization.
How does that term make you feel? Does it seem to imply that I'm talking about a specific, isolated behavior? Or does it seem more like I'm implying this is a characteristic feminine behavior? Would it feel less sexist if I insisted I wasn't talking about all women, but if you take offense then maybe you feel defensive about being a womancomplainer? What if I told you to calm down, because if you aren't guilty of it then I'm not talking about you?
It still seems pretty sexist, doesn't it.
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Yes.
There's a lot of words people have created that have been deemed hateful, bigoted, and harmful. We call these "slurs".
And English is a very contextual language so something can be a slur in one use and not in another.
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I'm not mansplaining I'm tism info dumping. If you want to patronize me go for it. I'll keep going
I've finally developed the skill those last weeks.
Info dumping = I walk away. Calmly, kindly but... I just walk away.
At work? With friends? At a bar?
Walking away.My life is easier now and dissociation is down by 90%. I should have done that YEARS ago.
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Then she spent two hours talking about every single thing she experienced at work and her remarks on them...
wrote last edited by [email protected]There was no "she" in my story.
Edit: and we just had a test of the system. I got home bubbling about updating Anubis and the new config options, then asked "would you like to hear more?" and he was like "sounds like you had a good day, no thank you" then flopped face-first onto the couch.
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I would, of course, mistake the condescension for genuine and sincere interest. I have found a nerd buddy. Once I'm done dumping, you can dump on me. This is so cool.
Oh wait... You're being mean. How heart breaking. I'll go climb into my little dark hole.
Awww, I'll be your data dump buddy! I'll tell you all about freshwater fish, brewing rice wine, and woodworking in great detail if you'll tell me your things in equal detail.
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Wack ass baby doesn't even know how about Euclidean geometry, having to explain right triangles and shit. It's called Pythagorean theorem you dumb ass baby don't you goo goo gah gah me.
Show the baby MC Escher drawings, shame it horribly for not following along, and in 22-24 years you may have a physicist!
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pontificate, harangue, bloviate, bluster, rant
None of those words impart the same meaning as "mansplain." A new word would be preferable.
Bloviate pretty much covers what I do on work phone calls. In my defense (mildly), I welcome whenever someone interrupts me.
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You know men tend to be larger than women?
I had a live-in partner complain that all the clothes in the laundry basket were mine, implying she was doing most of the laundry. I looked. We wore the same amount of clothes, mine were just bigger, taking a larger volume.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Size doesn't make you spread your legs, blocking two other seats or make you wrap your arms around the back of the other seats. I've seen plenty of men who can keep their hands and knees in front of themselves.
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You're right. The behavior really should be called "non-consensual info-dumping". Furthermore, people should ask first and only proceed to 'splain away if emphatic consent is given.
That's the key. I LOVE explaining things I'm passionate about but it's rude to just go wild on people, so I've developed a process to gauge familiarity and interest.
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Size doesn't make you spread your legs, blocking two other seats or make you wrap your arms around the back of the other seats. I've seen plenty of men who can keep their hands and knees in front of themselves.
wrote last edited by [email protected]But .. it does? If you’re tall, your arms and legs are longer, so they stick out further. As I found out on an 11 hour flight where the people to my left and right decided they both needed both arm rests, it’s painful to sit with your knees and elbows touching each other.
Wrapping my arm around a seatback would have been a godsend.
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"Mansplaining" is sexist. It's the equivalent of saying women are airheads, or gossips, or talk too much.
Is each man expected to just... Assume that everyone else shares their exact knowledge? Would such an assumption not therefore eliminate most communication entirely?
Or what if we decided to divide up groups by something other than gender. Would it be okay to say "asiansplaining" or "jewsplaining" or "gaysplaoning"?
Can a trans-man mansplaining? Can a trans-woman mansplain? Is there a separate category of "transplaining"?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Dude ngl so I was accused of mansplaining by an ex while explaining some technical shit I was talking about and I knew she didn't know, claiming she did in fact know..
Assume that
everyone elseshe shares their exact knowledge?And that's exactly what I did, upon her request. I stopped explaining technical terms when talking about something assuming she'll just know what a buffer tube and an H3 weight are. Turns out that made her "feel stupid" which of course wasn't my intention, I intended to both A) comply with her literal request as per respecting boundaries, and B) hope she'd see just how ineffective of a system that is for communication. Turns out I was the asshole for doing as she asked, who knew. She threatened to shoot me (she wasn't gonna do shit but still threatening to isn't exactly "chill") when we broke up for the crime of checks notes spending my own money legally, so I'm sure I was the problem lol.
There's not much of a point to that story really other than I enjoy telling it but I rarely get to since it's rarely relevant, and to say don't bother assuming everyone knows things, they might just hate that too lol. Danged if ya do danged if ya don't, I'm royally danged.
