short
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Randy Newman is the gatekeeper of heaven?
you got a friend in me
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Heaven is boring as Hell
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good to know I will never be at risk of going to heaven because I'm short
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but, like trump, he knew. santa knows about all the kiddo predators, he fucking sees you while you're sleeping and knows when you're awake, why isn't santa doing anything?
He's always been just another oligarchy stooge. He works for Coca-Cola Company after all.
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He's always been just another oligarchy stooge. He works for Coca-Cola Company after all.
you get it. glad I'm not alone.
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Santa was not on the Epstein list, I promise you.
But Epstein was on Santa's list.
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Did Randy Newman answer your question personally?
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Nobody will go to heaven because heaven is not real.
wrote last edited by [email protected]That's what you believe. So do i.
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it's gonna be interesting when AI's start fighting each other. Think religious wars are nasty? Wait until agentic AI starts driving automated trucks into 'enemy' data centers....
The AI will truly have to be able to think for themselves first. Whoever has written their parameters has done an impressive job of adding apologia into the algorithms about any religious topic.
Me: Does the bible say X?
AI: Yes
Me: Does the bible also say Y? (the literal opposite of X)
AI: Yes
Me: Doesn't that mean the bible is inconsistent in this regard?
AI: Well you have to understand the cultural context of the time and be sure to approach such topics with sensitivity and blah..blah...
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Pork tattoos!
Tats of Piggies getting shitfaced.
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Removed tattoos, just like lost limbs, will return when you enter Heaven.
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lol I can’t believe grown ass adults believe this shit. I’m surprised most people dont start questioning this after they learn about Santa clause.
I know... A while ago I was having a conversation with a Christian co-worker who was obviously working up to some kind of "witnessing" (as someone who grew up in an Evangelical Church, I know when it's coming).
I told her that I know all about it, and I will never believe it. Before she could tell me I was angry at god, I told her that it isn't possible and it wouldn't make sense because it would be like "being mad at Santa Claus."
I think she was seriously taken aback. Like it blew her mind haha
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That's what you believe. So do i.
That's the logical conclusion based on neuroscience finding that souls don't exist.
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Undercook, no heaven. Overcook, undercook.
Straight to hell
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That's the logical conclusion based on neuroscience finding that souls don't exist.
Pardon, what? Not saying you're wrong but this sounds like something that can't be proved. I would love a source if you don't mind!
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Short people will not go to heaven.
Well, obviously. They can't reach.
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If drinking alcohol prohibits you from going to heaven, all the church goers who practice communion are fucked.
Well, it's supposed to transmogrify into (human) flesh and blood once it gets in your mouth.
Alcohol might be a no-no, but cannibalism is apparently a-ok.
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Short people will not go to heaven.
Well, obviously. They can't reach.
Short people got no reason to live
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Overcook chicken? Believe it or not, also no heaven
Did you ever pet a dog the wrong direction and make their hair all scrunchified? Also no heaven.
