Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Ask Lemmy
  3. Is there like a cheat code for dating apps?

Is there like a cheat code for dating apps?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Ask Lemmy
asklemmy
82 Posts 51 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • L This user is from outside of this forum
    L This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #1

    32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

    I _thisdot@infosec.pub_ F V moseschrute@piefed.socialM 32 Replies Last reply
    15
    • L [email protected]

      32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

      I This user is from outside of this forum
      I This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      Short answer: No

      Long answer: Nooooo

      If irl feels difficult one thing you might try is actually online roleplaying with real people (via text or voice). All the time in the world to overthink and process anxiety and allows building a bit of confidence before trying the real deal.

      The 5 yrs I was on apps I've had maybe 3 or 4 dates (no second dates) from maybe 3x as many matches. Meeting people irl during the same time maybe 9 dates with some resulting in follow ups, and maybe 2 dates from people I met online from other spaces.

      L 1 Reply Last reply
      3
      • L [email protected]

        32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

        _thisdot@infosec.pub_ This user is from outside of this forum
        _thisdot@infosec.pub_ This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #3

        Here are the steps

        1. Don't be ugly
        2. See step 1
        agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA 1 Reply Last reply
        19
        • I [email protected]

          Short answer: No

          Long answer: Nooooo

          If irl feels difficult one thing you might try is actually online roleplaying with real people (via text or voice). All the time in the world to overthink and process anxiety and allows building a bit of confidence before trying the real deal.

          The 5 yrs I was on apps I've had maybe 3 or 4 dates (no second dates) from maybe 3x as many matches. Meeting people irl during the same time maybe 9 dates with some resulting in follow ups, and maybe 2 dates from people I met online from other spaces.

          L This user is from outside of this forum
          L This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          Online roleplaying?

          I 1 Reply Last reply
          2
          • L [email protected]

            32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

            F This user is from outside of this forum
            F This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #5

            Good photos. Not shitty selfies. Have your friends take “candid” photos of you doing stuff. They’re not actually candid, they’re fully thought out and planned.

            treadful@lemmy.zipT Z 2 Replies Last reply
            9
            • L [email protected]

              32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

              V This user is from outside of this forum
              V This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #6

              Yes. Give up and go get a social hobby or volunteering. If you volunteer, you will literally be drowning in pussies

              sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.comM 2 Replies Last reply
              5
              • L [email protected]

                32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                moseschrute@piefed.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                moseschrute@piefed.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #7

                Me and my partner met on a dating app and we’ve been together for years. Idk I hate dating apps, but there’s no rules. You can meet someone anywhere. I’m kinda shy, so dating app worked for me

                L 1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • L [email protected]

                  Online roleplaying?

                  I This user is from outside of this forum
                  I This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #8

                  Yes, it can be a way of exploring various social situations without pressure whilst also having fun.

                  There aren't any particularly good forums for it on Lemmy unfortunately but if you like I can send a discord invite to a community for finding people to rp with on DM.

                  snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS L 2 Replies Last reply
                  1
                  • moseschrute@piefed.socialM [email protected]

                    Me and my partner met on a dating app and we’ve been together for years. Idk I hate dating apps, but there’s no rules. You can meet someone anywhere. I’m kinda shy, so dating app worked for me

                    L This user is from outside of this forum
                    L This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    I am very awkward when it comes to women so yeah it would be nice if the apps worked

                    moseschrute@piefed.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • L [email protected]

                      I am very awkward when it comes to women so yeah it would be nice if the apps worked

                      moseschrute@piefed.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                      moseschrute@piefed.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                      #10

                      Just treat her with respect and be a good listener. Maybe my perception is skewed but it seems like most men can’t do that these days. For context, I’m also a man.

                      Edit: also want to add, find someone that makes you feel secure. Being in a secure relationship may take time if you’re anxious or avoidant, but it’s worth it. Don’t waste time on people that play games. Even if it’s fun, there is no substitute for a secure relationship

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • L [email protected]

                        32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #11

                        Look abroad, try bumpy

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • I [email protected]

                          Yes, it can be a way of exploring various social situations without pressure whilst also having fun.

                          There aren't any particularly good forums for it on Lemmy unfortunately but if you like I can send a discord invite to a community for finding people to rp with on DM.

                          snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                          snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          That sounds like "The Nathan Fielder Method" from The Rehearsal.

                          I 1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • I [email protected]

                            Yes, it can be a way of exploring various social situations without pressure whilst also having fun.

                            There aren't any particularly good forums for it on Lemmy unfortunately but if you like I can send a discord invite to a community for finding people to rp with on DM.

                            L This user is from outside of this forum
                            L This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #13

                            Sure that would be nice

                            I 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L [email protected]

                              32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                              C This user is from outside of this forum
                              C This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by [email protected]
                              #14

                              ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they’ve gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm.

                              I feel like there's actual empirical evidence I've seen of that. Great engagement-drivers, though, and never getting you into a serious relationship helps keep you a customer/product.

                              People are getting savvy to it now, and completely moving away from online dating. We'll see if non-shit services make a comeback.

                              Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking.

                              I mean, irl is the eventual goal, right? The online part is, at best, a better way of picking who to date.

                              Otherwise, online roleplaying might push all the buttons you need. Or therapy, if you want to handle your anxiety better.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L [email protected]

                                Sure that would be nice

                                I This user is from outside of this forum
                                I This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                sent a message

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • V [email protected]

                                  Yes. Give up and go get a social hobby or volunteering. If you volunteer, you will literally be drowning in pussies

                                  sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Only if he volunteers at a cat shelter...

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  6
                                  • snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS [email protected]

                                    That sounds like "The Nathan Fielder Method" from The Rehearsal.

                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #17

                                    hadn't heard of that one, sounds like a fun comedy series

                                    snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L [email protected]

                                      32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                                      kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                      #18

                                      Guaranteed to get matches if you show off big wads of cash in your pics, no matter what you look like.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • L [email protected]

                                        32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?

                                        sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sterile_technique@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                        #19

                                        I've never never bothered with online dating, but I've heard quite a bit of anecdote about it being an absolute dumpster fire for anyone over 30 who doesn't look like a pornstar. As others have mentioned, stop wasting time with the apps and do -something- that interests you that'll get you out and interacting with like-minded people, and see where that takes you.

                                        A 1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • I [email protected]

                                          hadn't heard of that one, sounds like a fun comedy series

                                          snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          snotflickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #20

                                          It absolutely is!

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          1
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups