Is there like a cheat code for dating apps?
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Short answer: No
Long answer: Nooooo
If irl feels difficult one thing you might try is actually online roleplaying with real people (via text or voice). All the time in the world to overthink and process anxiety and allows building a bit of confidence before trying the real deal.
The 5 yrs I was on apps I've had maybe 3 or 4 dates (no second dates) from maybe 3x as many matches. Meeting people irl during the same time maybe 9 dates with some resulting in follow ups, and maybe 2 dates from people I met online from other spaces.
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Here are the steps
- Don't be ugly
- See step 1
-
Short answer: No
Long answer: Nooooo
If irl feels difficult one thing you might try is actually online roleplaying with real people (via text or voice). All the time in the world to overthink and process anxiety and allows building a bit of confidence before trying the real deal.
The 5 yrs I was on apps I've had maybe 3 or 4 dates (no second dates) from maybe 3x as many matches. Meeting people irl during the same time maybe 9 dates with some resulting in follow ups, and maybe 2 dates from people I met online from other spaces.
Online roleplaying?
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Good photos. Not shitty selfies. Have your friends take “candid” photos of you doing stuff. They’re not actually candid, they’re fully thought out and planned.
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Yes. Give up and go get a social hobby or volunteering. If you volunteer, you will literally be drowning in pussies
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Me and my partner met on a dating app and we’ve been together for years. Idk I hate dating apps, but there’s no rules. You can meet someone anywhere. I’m kinda shy, so dating app worked for me
-
Online roleplaying?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yes, it can be a way of exploring various social situations without pressure whilst also having fun.
There aren't any particularly good forums for it on Lemmy unfortunately but if you like I can send a discord invite to a community for finding people to rp with on DM.
-
Me and my partner met on a dating app and we’ve been together for years. Idk I hate dating apps, but there’s no rules. You can meet someone anywhere. I’m kinda shy, so dating app worked for me
I am very awkward when it comes to women so yeah it would be nice if the apps worked
-
I am very awkward when it comes to women so yeah it would be nice if the apps worked
wrote last edited by [email protected]Just treat her with respect and be a good listener. Maybe my perception is skewed but it seems like most men can’t do that these days. For context, I’m also a man.
Edit: also want to add, find someone that makes you feel secure. Being in a secure relationship may take time if you’re anxious or avoidant, but it’s worth it. Don’t waste time on people that play games. Even if it’s fun, there is no substitute for a secure relationship
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
Look abroad, try bumpy
-
Yes, it can be a way of exploring various social situations without pressure whilst also having fun.
There aren't any particularly good forums for it on Lemmy unfortunately but if you like I can send a discord invite to a community for finding people to rp with on DM.
That sounds like "The Nathan Fielder Method" from The Rehearsal.
-
Yes, it can be a way of exploring various social situations without pressure whilst also having fun.
There aren't any particularly good forums for it on Lemmy unfortunately but if you like I can send a discord invite to a community for finding people to rp with on DM.
Sure that would be nice
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
wrote last edited by [email protected]ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they’ve gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm.
I feel like there's actual empirical evidence I've seen of that. Great engagement-drivers, though, and never getting you into a serious relationship helps keep you a customer/product.
People are getting savvy to it now, and completely moving away from online dating. We'll see if non-shit services make a comeback.
Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking.
I mean, irl is the eventual goal, right? The online part is, at best, a better way of picking who to date.
Otherwise, online roleplaying might push all the buttons you need. Or therapy, if you want to handle your anxiety better.
-
Sure that would be nice
sent a message
-
Yes. Give up and go get a social hobby or volunteering. If you volunteer, you will literally be drowning in pussies
Only if he volunteers at a cat shelter...
-
That sounds like "The Nathan Fielder Method" from The Rehearsal.
hadn't heard of that one, sounds like a fun comedy series
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Guaranteed to get matches if you show off big wads of cash in your pics, no matter what you look like.
-
32m here and ive been on dating apps for over 10 years and think they've gotten worse since the whole swiping algorithm. I always do max swipes daily on fb dating, tinder, and bumble with minimum to no success. Tinder being the worst of the three. Ik irl is better, I just am not good at it with social anxiety and overthinking. Anybody find what works on these apps if you're an average looking man?
wrote last edited by [email protected]I've never never bothered with online dating, but I've heard quite a bit of anecdote about it being an absolute dumpster fire for anyone over 30 who doesn't look like a pornstar. As others have mentioned, stop wasting time with the apps and do -something- that interests you that'll get you out and interacting with like-minded people, and see where that takes you.
-
hadn't heard of that one, sounds like a fun comedy series
It absolutely is!