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  3. why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Ask Lemmy
@menarefuckings
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  • K [email protected]

    TIL there is women only spaces on the internet. How do you even enforce it?

    D This user is from outside of this forum
    D This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #45

    Please present yourself to JK Rowling's TERF Inspection Booth /s

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

      im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

      the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

      what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

      N This user is from outside of this forum
      N This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #46

      Mod notice: semi-controversial but serious question has been raised about an actual issue. Keep it civil and stay classy.

      If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Or at least be tastefully funny about it.

      EDIT:

      A 1 Reply Last reply
      7
      • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

        im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

        the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

        what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

        C This user is from outside of this forum
        C This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #47

        They're looking for a way to feel persecuted, probably.

        S 1 Reply Last reply
        2
        • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

          im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

          the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

          what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

          M This user is from outside of this forum
          M This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by [email protected]
          #48

          "The rules are clearly presented"

          WRONG! Posts show up in aggregate lists. You know, like the main page of lemmy instances. Where individual community rules do not appear at all if someone clicks on the post directly. I bet a significant amount of the time, people do not even realize which community they're replying to posts in.

          Don't like it? Maybe Lemmy needs a way to either remove communities from standard aggregate lists, or to force a popup of community rules when a post is navigated to for a first time viewer that hasn't even seen the community page. Then I'd totally understand being pissed off at first time rule violators.

          facedeer@fedia.ioF therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zoneT 2 Replies Last reply
          11
          • B [email protected]

            Mandatory penis inspection, obviously.

            beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
            beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #49

            They use the UK way, where you film your private parts and then they can decide where you fit in.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • Z [email protected]

              Honestly the varied mobile platforms don't always present the channel/groups rules in advance. Especially if one is just browsing trending topics. There can potentially be no way for some users to be informed enough before they see a topic they want to interact with.

              Best solution I found for similar issue is polite advisement of the rules via dm or other preferred method and helping them learn and have better internet etiquette.

              Calling folks out publicly can get alot of negative associations with it as well which might end with you group on the wrong end of a troll.

              B This user is from outside of this forum
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #50

              It’s very often right in the title, AND the description, yet filled with men's comments.

              F 1 Reply Last reply
              3
              • beigeagenda@lemmy.caB [email protected]

                I saw a post, added a relevant wiki link, and then my comment was deleted, and that's fair enough as I didn't read the rules beforehand.

                To reduce the constant barrage of mansplaining 🙂 I suggest adding a sticky top level comment (or something better), or some sort of filter before a comment is added if possible.

                U This user is from outside of this forum
                U This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #51

                Or set the public instance to public discussion about women's stuff and set up a private instance with a women's only application process that is advertised on the public instance.

                There's value in women's only spaces, and there's value in spaces for fathers, husbands, brothers, boyfriends, and sons to ask about women's stuff. By arranging the communities as described they can keep discoverability, exclusivity, AND can stop getting forbidden comments from the public on their public forum.

                1 Reply Last reply
                3
                • B This user is from outside of this forum
                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #52

                  This I disagree with, as it’s an open community.

                  It’s read only to men.

                  But don’t post, yes. Period. That part is pretty simple.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • A This user is from outside of this forum
                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #53

                    I kinda feel like you are intentionally missing the point of the feedback you are getting and pretending like any pushback you get is related to your one specific grievance despite people being pretty clear about what they are saying.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                      im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                      the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                      what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                      #54

                      These comments…

                      what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                      +1

                      Community rules are community rules, and you can either follow them or get banned from the community. How is ‘women only’ any different?

                      As for the excuse of visibility: the rule is very often in the title, and the initial post, yet not followed.

                      As for the excuse of how they can tell: well if they can’t, okay, you evaded detection. But posts very often declare “I’m a guy and this is my take…”

                      I honestly don’t get it, especially on an internet “refuge” like Lemmy where users should be sensitive to persecution and the importance of safe, moderated discussion spaces.

                      rivalarrival@lemmy.todayR E 2 Replies Last reply
                      4
                      • K [email protected]

                        TIL there is women only spaces on the internet. How do you even enforce it?

                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #55

                        You hope that men will recognize that this is a space not meant for them (which is often explicitly stated in the post body) and respectfully not comment. And those men that do comment but are respectful get politely asked not to comment again. And those men that comment and are rude or disrespectful get banned.

                        And some men do fly under the radar but a surprising number feel the need to start their comment with "As a man...".

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        3
                        • N [email protected]

                          Mod notice: semi-controversial but serious question has been raised about an actual issue. Keep it civil and stay classy.

                          If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Or at least be tastefully funny about it.

                          EDIT:

                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #56

                          Thanks for providing a great reason to leave this community.

                          The OP has been hostile in the comments, and in their OP, violating Rule 1, and Rule 5.

                          Do better.

                          H E 2 Replies Last reply
                          6
                          • N [email protected]

                            Forgot one: randomly stumbled in after sorting by new guys.

                            I blocked womenstuff for their sake, not mine.

                            K This user is from outside of this forum
                            K This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #57

                            Thank you for doing that - such a simple and kind thing to do!

                            K 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                              im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                              the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                              what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                              medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                              medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #58

                              Make it a private group. If it shows up in the general list, it's a free and public spot.

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
                              3
                              • T [email protected]

                                My edit was only adding the 2nd paragraph. And no, it is not wrong and the OP is not correct

                                H This user is from outside of this forum
                                H This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #59

                                A few points:

                                1. It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

                                2. You once again flipped the discriminatory group and the group discriminatory against which is at best a misunderstanding and at worse malicious

                                3. You are STILL wrong and are mansplaining. You don’t need to insert yourself into women’s discourse. You are literally the type of person women’s only spaces are built to protect against. While yes, help from those who are not discriminated against definitely help the discriminated, that help comes in listening to what they have to say and support. Your expressed viewpoint is more or less: “I am very important and you should hear what I have to say because it is helpful”. You are, intentionally or not, giving subtle hints that you are better than women and that’s why you should be allowed to force your way into their discourse. In this day and age, we call that sexism.

                                Maybe that’s not your intention, but boy your writing is full of red flags

                                T E 2 Replies Last reply
                                1
                                • M [email protected]

                                  "The rules are clearly presented"

                                  WRONG! Posts show up in aggregate lists. You know, like the main page of lemmy instances. Where individual community rules do not appear at all if someone clicks on the post directly. I bet a significant amount of the time, people do not even realize which community they're replying to posts in.

                                  Don't like it? Maybe Lemmy needs a way to either remove communities from standard aggregate lists, or to force a popup of community rules when a post is navigated to for a first time viewer that hasn't even seen the community page. Then I'd totally understand being pissed off at first time rule violators.

                                  facedeer@fedia.ioF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  facedeer@fedia.ioF This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #60

                                  There's no way to "force" anything, different clients are going to behave however they like. Maybe if you need that level of control the Fediverse isn't the right platform to begin with.

                                  M 1 Reply Last reply
                                  2
                                  • H [email protected]

                                    A few points:

                                    1. It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

                                    2. You once again flipped the discriminatory group and the group discriminatory against which is at best a misunderstanding and at worse malicious

                                    3. You are STILL wrong and are mansplaining. You don’t need to insert yourself into women’s discourse. You are literally the type of person women’s only spaces are built to protect against. While yes, help from those who are not discriminated against definitely help the discriminated, that help comes in listening to what they have to say and support. Your expressed viewpoint is more or less: “I am very important and you should hear what I have to say because it is helpful”. You are, intentionally or not, giving subtle hints that you are better than women and that’s why you should be allowed to force your way into their discourse. In this day and age, we call that sexism.

                                    Maybe that’s not your intention, but boy your writing is full of red flags

                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                    #61

                                    It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

                                    It wasn't a mistake, I simply moved the paragraph from a comment deep in the thread to the top level, because it deserves to be there. Also, there's nothing wrong with editing comments and "the discourse that has already been made" is not owed preservation, not that it was impacted in any way by my edit.

                                    giving subtle hints that you are better than women

                                    Go ahead and point out these "subtle hints" that I'm better than women.

                                    In this day and age, we call that sexism.

                                    Yeah, that's not what sexism means.

                                    Your comments are full of red flags of delusions, imaginary enemies, and self victimization.

                                    H 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • C [email protected]

                                      They're looking for a way to feel persecuted, probably.

                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #62

                                      Like OP doing currently?

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • T [email protected]

                                        It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

                                        It wasn't a mistake, I simply moved the paragraph from a comment deep in the thread to the top level, because it deserves to be there. Also, there's nothing wrong with editing comments and "the discourse that has already been made" is not owed preservation, not that it was impacted in any way by my edit.

                                        giving subtle hints that you are better than women

                                        Go ahead and point out these "subtle hints" that I'm better than women.

                                        In this day and age, we call that sexism.

                                        Yeah, that's not what sexism means.

                                        Your comments are full of red flags of delusions, imaginary enemies, and self victimization.

                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #63

                                        You said in your edit: Men are relevant and important to addressing women’s issues.

                                        That's it.

                                        And per merriam webster:

                                        prejudice or discrimination based on sex
                                        Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexism

                                        Your statement in and itself, shows prejudice based on sex.

                                        T 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #64

                                          Bro you posted on a public fora you in rage bait format then doing pikachu face about it

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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