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  3. why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Ask Lemmy
@menarefuckings
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  • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

    im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

    the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

    what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

    B This user is from outside of this forum
    B This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by [email protected]
    #54

    These comments…

    what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

    +1

    Community rules are community rules, and you can either follow them or get banned from the community. How is ‘women only’ any different?

    As for the excuse of visibility: the rule is very often in the title, and the initial post, yet not followed.

    As for the excuse of how they can tell: well if they can’t, okay, you evaded detection. But posts very often declare “I’m a guy and this is my take…”

    I honestly don’t get it, especially on an internet “refuge” like Lemmy where users should be sensitive to persecution and the importance of safe, moderated discussion spaces.

    rivalarrival@lemmy.todayR E 2 Replies Last reply
    4
    • K [email protected]

      TIL there is women only spaces on the internet. How do you even enforce it?

      K This user is from outside of this forum
      K This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #55

      You hope that men will recognize that this is a space not meant for them (which is often explicitly stated in the post body) and respectfully not comment. And those men that do comment but are respectful get politely asked not to comment again. And those men that comment and are rude or disrespectful get banned.

      And some men do fly under the radar but a surprising number feel the need to start their comment with "As a man...".

      1 Reply Last reply
      3
      • N [email protected]

        Mod notice: semi-controversial but serious question has been raised about an actual issue. Keep it civil and stay classy.

        If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Or at least be tastefully funny about it.

        EDIT:

        A This user is from outside of this forum
        A This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #56

        Thanks for providing a great reason to leave this community.

        The OP has been hostile in the comments, and in their OP, violating Rule 1, and Rule 5.

        Do better.

        H E 2 Replies Last reply
        6
        • N [email protected]

          Forgot one: randomly stumbled in after sorting by new guys.

          I blocked womenstuff for their sake, not mine.

          K This user is from outside of this forum
          K This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #57

          Thank you for doing that - such a simple and kind thing to do!

          K 1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

            im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

            the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

            what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

            medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
            medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #58

            Make it a private group. If it shows up in the general list, it's a free and public spot.

            S 1 Reply Last reply
            3
            • T [email protected]

              My edit was only adding the 2nd paragraph. And no, it is not wrong and the OP is not correct

              H This user is from outside of this forum
              H This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #59

              A few points:

              1. It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

              2. You once again flipped the discriminatory group and the group discriminatory against which is at best a misunderstanding and at worse malicious

              3. You are STILL wrong and are mansplaining. You don’t need to insert yourself into women’s discourse. You are literally the type of person women’s only spaces are built to protect against. While yes, help from those who are not discriminated against definitely help the discriminated, that help comes in listening to what they have to say and support. Your expressed viewpoint is more or less: “I am very important and you should hear what I have to say because it is helpful”. You are, intentionally or not, giving subtle hints that you are better than women and that’s why you should be allowed to force your way into their discourse. In this day and age, we call that sexism.

              Maybe that’s not your intention, but boy your writing is full of red flags

              T E 2 Replies Last reply
              1
              • M [email protected]

                "The rules are clearly presented"

                WRONG! Posts show up in aggregate lists. You know, like the main page of lemmy instances. Where individual community rules do not appear at all if someone clicks on the post directly. I bet a significant amount of the time, people do not even realize which community they're replying to posts in.

                Don't like it? Maybe Lemmy needs a way to either remove communities from standard aggregate lists, or to force a popup of community rules when a post is navigated to for a first time viewer that hasn't even seen the community page. Then I'd totally understand being pissed off at first time rule violators.

                facedeer@fedia.ioF This user is from outside of this forum
                facedeer@fedia.ioF This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #60

                There's no way to "force" anything, different clients are going to behave however they like. Maybe if you need that level of control the Fediverse isn't the right platform to begin with.

                M 1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • H [email protected]

                  A few points:

                  1. It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

                  2. You once again flipped the discriminatory group and the group discriminatory against which is at best a misunderstanding and at worse malicious

                  3. You are STILL wrong and are mansplaining. You don’t need to insert yourself into women’s discourse. You are literally the type of person women’s only spaces are built to protect against. While yes, help from those who are not discriminated against definitely help the discriminated, that help comes in listening to what they have to say and support. Your expressed viewpoint is more or less: “I am very important and you should hear what I have to say because it is helpful”. You are, intentionally or not, giving subtle hints that you are better than women and that’s why you should be allowed to force your way into their discourse. In this day and age, we call that sexism.

                  Maybe that’s not your intention, but boy your writing is full of red flags

                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                  #61

                  It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

                  It wasn't a mistake, I simply moved the paragraph from a comment deep in the thread to the top level, because it deserves to be there. Also, there's nothing wrong with editing comments and "the discourse that has already been made" is not owed preservation, not that it was impacted in any way by my edit.

                  giving subtle hints that you are better than women

                  Go ahead and point out these "subtle hints" that I'm better than women.

                  In this day and age, we call that sexism.

                  Yeah, that's not what sexism means.

                  Your comments are full of red flags of delusions, imaginary enemies, and self victimization.

                  H 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • C [email protected]

                    They're looking for a way to feel persecuted, probably.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #62

                    Like OP doing currently?

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • T [email protected]

                      It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

                      It wasn't a mistake, I simply moved the paragraph from a comment deep in the thread to the top level, because it deserves to be there. Also, there's nothing wrong with editing comments and "the discourse that has already been made" is not owed preservation, not that it was impacted in any way by my edit.

                      giving subtle hints that you are better than women

                      Go ahead and point out these "subtle hints" that I'm better than women.

                      In this day and age, we call that sexism.

                      Yeah, that's not what sexism means.

                      Your comments are full of red flags of delusions, imaginary enemies, and self victimization.

                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #63

                      You said in your edit: Men are relevant and important to addressing women’s issues.

                      That's it.

                      And per merriam webster:

                      prejudice or discrimination based on sex
                      Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexism

                      Your statement in and itself, shows prejudice based on sex.

                      T 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • S This user is from outside of this forum
                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #64

                        Bro you posted on a public fora you in rage bait format then doing pikachu face about it

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        4
                        • medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                          Make it a private group. If it shows up in the general list, it's a free and public spot.

                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #65

                          Actually they should be using an app similar to the one in Uk to confirm age but they need one for gender.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • H [email protected]

                            You said in your edit: Men are relevant and important to addressing women’s issues.

                            That's it.

                            And per merriam webster:

                            prejudice or discrimination based on sex
                            Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexism

                            Your statement in and itself, shows prejudice based on sex.

                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #66

                            Yeah, that's not what prejudice means.

                            H 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • A [email protected]

                              Thanks for providing a great reason to leave this community.

                              The OP has been hostile in the comments, and in their OP, violating Rule 1, and Rule 5.

                              Do better.

                              H This user is from outside of this forum
                              H This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #67

                              OK, I pulled out a computer for you so I could see the rules side by side with my post because my mobile client doesn't allow it.

                              Rule 1: Be nice and; have fun

                              Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here.

                              OP came in swinging hot, maybe a little toxic, but there are valid points behind the hot words.

                              However, OP has shown that they are able to accept other viewpoints from valid arguments (https://lemmy.ca/post/48960508/18080134). So I would argue this is borderline.

                              I have to say, I have no idea what sealioning is though.

                              Rule 5: This is not a support community.

                              It is not a place for ‘how do I?’, type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

                              This isn't a "How do I". This is an open ended attempt (with some frustration) to try to under why members of the community do certain things.

                              That's my view anyway. What's yours?

                              A S N T 4 Replies Last reply
                              1
                              • T [email protected]

                                Yeah, that's not what prejudice means.

                                H This user is from outside of this forum
                                H This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #68

                                Sure, let's consult merriam webster again since you are dinging me on dictionary definitions:
                                www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prejudice

                                1
                                a
                                : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics
                                b(1)
                                : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge
                                (2)
                                : preconceived judgment or opinion
                                c
                                : an instance of such opinion or judgment
                                2
                                : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights
                                especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims

                                You are firmly under 1b2 and 1c.

                                T 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • H [email protected]

                                  Sure, let's consult merriam webster again since you are dinging me on dictionary definitions:
                                  www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prejudice

                                  1
                                  a
                                  : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics
                                  b(1)
                                  : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge
                                  (2)
                                  : preconceived judgment or opinion
                                  c
                                  : an instance of such opinion or judgment
                                  2
                                  : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights
                                  especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims

                                  You are firmly under 1b2 and 1c.

                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  T This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #69

                                  Neither of those apply to anything I've said. They're quite a stretch. You're just wrong, and certainly not because of your gender, which I do not know.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                                    im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                                    the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                                    what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                    bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.deB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.deB This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                    #70

                                    Would be nice if Lemmy and Piefed had a way to limit posting and commenting to subscribers. That should at least stop accidental comments while keeping visibility.

                                    Not for me, because I'm aubscribed because I'm curious and might want to share interesting threads with my wife.

                                    Anyways, brb making a feature request.

                                    Edit: [email protected] moved to Piefed, so the feature request should be made there. And I just lost a half typed request to Android's bullshit memory management and now I don't have any energy left. Someone else can take over.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • H [email protected]

                                      OK, I pulled out a computer for you so I could see the rules side by side with my post because my mobile client doesn't allow it.

                                      Rule 1: Be nice and; have fun

                                      Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here.

                                      OP came in swinging hot, maybe a little toxic, but there are valid points behind the hot words.

                                      However, OP has shown that they are able to accept other viewpoints from valid arguments (https://lemmy.ca/post/48960508/18080134). So I would argue this is borderline.

                                      I have to say, I have no idea what sealioning is though.

                                      Rule 5: This is not a support community.

                                      It is not a place for ‘how do I?’, type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

                                      This isn't a "How do I". This is an open ended attempt (with some frustration) to try to under why members of the community do certain things.

                                      That's my view anyway. What's yours?

                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #71

                                      I shared my view and left the community. Was something about my comment unclear?

                                      H 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                                        im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                                        the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                                        what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #72

                                        Man here, there have been several times when I have found a thread talking about men and shitting all over all men and painting with broad strokes, claiming that we are all awful and just looking to use women.

                                        I feel offended at indirectly being included in a group like that, and have joined in discussions in the past to try and explain that we are not all terrible people.

                                        Over time however, I have learned to ignore the hate spewers and just move on.

                                        Personally, if I see a community where the rules are politely explaining the situation, I just block the community out of respect for the xommunity.

                                        A K 2 Replies Last reply
                                        4
                                        • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                                          im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                                          the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                                          what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                          gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #73

                                          Lemmy is a public space. Everyone can participate.

                                          Imagine if lemmy was a physical piece of public land. Could you create a community on it that can only be accessed by women? Something like this village?

                                          starlinguk@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
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