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  3. why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

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@menarefuckings
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  • H [email protected]

    A few points:

    1. It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

    2. You once again flipped the discriminatory group and the group discriminatory against which is at best a misunderstanding and at worse malicious

    3. You are STILL wrong and are mansplaining. You don’t need to insert yourself into women’s discourse. You are literally the type of person women’s only spaces are built to protect against. While yes, help from those who are not discriminated against definitely help the discriminated, that help comes in listening to what they have to say and support. Your expressed viewpoint is more or less: “I am very important and you should hear what I have to say because it is helpful”. You are, intentionally or not, giving subtle hints that you are better than women and that’s why you should be allowed to force your way into their discourse. In this day and age, we call that sexism.

    Maybe that’s not your intention, but boy your writing is full of red flags

    T This user is from outside of this forum
    T This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by [email protected]
    #61

    It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

    It wasn't a mistake, I simply moved the paragraph from a comment deep in the thread to the top level, because it deserves to be there. Also, there's nothing wrong with editing comments and "the discourse that has already been made" is not owed preservation, not that it was impacted in any way by my edit.

    giving subtle hints that you are better than women

    Go ahead and point out these "subtle hints" that I'm better than women.

    In this day and age, we call that sexism.

    Yeah, that's not what sexism means.

    Your comments are full of red flags of delusions, imaginary enemies, and self victimization.

    H 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • C [email protected]

      They're looking for a way to feel persecuted, probably.

      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #62

      Like OP doing currently?

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • T [email protected]

        It could be a mistake, but adding context without labeling it as an addition or an edit changes the view of the discourse that has already been made

        It wasn't a mistake, I simply moved the paragraph from a comment deep in the thread to the top level, because it deserves to be there. Also, there's nothing wrong with editing comments and "the discourse that has already been made" is not owed preservation, not that it was impacted in any way by my edit.

        giving subtle hints that you are better than women

        Go ahead and point out these "subtle hints" that I'm better than women.

        In this day and age, we call that sexism.

        Yeah, that's not what sexism means.

        Your comments are full of red flags of delusions, imaginary enemies, and self victimization.

        H This user is from outside of this forum
        H This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #63

        You said in your edit: Men are relevant and important to addressing women’s issues.

        That's it.

        And per merriam webster:

        prejudice or discrimination based on sex
        Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexism

        Your statement in and itself, shows prejudice based on sex.

        T 1 Reply Last reply
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        • S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #64

          Bro you posted on a public fora you in rage bait format then doing pikachu face about it

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • medicpigbabysaver@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

            Make it a private group. If it shows up in the general list, it's a free and public spot.

            S This user is from outside of this forum
            S This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #65

            Actually they should be using an app similar to the one in Uk to confirm age but they need one for gender.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • H [email protected]

              You said in your edit: Men are relevant and important to addressing women’s issues.

              That's it.

              And per merriam webster:

              prejudice or discrimination based on sex
              Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sexism

              Your statement in and itself, shows prejudice based on sex.

              T This user is from outside of this forum
              T This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #66

              Yeah, that's not what prejudice means.

              H 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • A [email protected]

                Thanks for providing a great reason to leave this community.

                The OP has been hostile in the comments, and in their OP, violating Rule 1, and Rule 5.

                Do better.

                H This user is from outside of this forum
                H This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #67

                OK, I pulled out a computer for you so I could see the rules side by side with my post because my mobile client doesn't allow it.

                Rule 1: Be nice and; have fun

                Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here.

                OP came in swinging hot, maybe a little toxic, but there are valid points behind the hot words.

                However, OP has shown that they are able to accept other viewpoints from valid arguments (https://lemmy.ca/post/48960508/18080134). So I would argue this is borderline.

                I have to say, I have no idea what sealioning is though.

                Rule 5: This is not a support community.

                It is not a place for ‘how do I?’, type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

                This isn't a "How do I". This is an open ended attempt (with some frustration) to try to under why members of the community do certain things.

                That's my view anyway. What's yours?

                A S N T 4 Replies Last reply
                1
                • T [email protected]

                  Yeah, that's not what prejudice means.

                  H This user is from outside of this forum
                  H This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #68

                  Sure, let's consult merriam webster again since you are dinging me on dictionary definitions:
                  www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prejudice

                  1
                  a
                  : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics
                  b(1)
                  : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge
                  (2)
                  : preconceived judgment or opinion
                  c
                  : an instance of such opinion or judgment
                  2
                  : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights
                  especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims

                  You are firmly under 1b2 and 1c.

                  T 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • H [email protected]

                    Sure, let's consult merriam webster again since you are dinging me on dictionary definitions:
                    www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prejudice

                    1
                    a
                    : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics
                    b(1)
                    : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge
                    (2)
                    : preconceived judgment or opinion
                    c
                    : an instance of such opinion or judgment
                    2
                    : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights
                    especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims

                    You are firmly under 1b2 and 1c.

                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #69

                    Neither of those apply to anything I've said. They're quite a stretch. You're just wrong, and certainly not because of your gender, which I do not know.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                      im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                      the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                      what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                      bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.deB This user is from outside of this forum
                      bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.deB This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                      #70

                      Would be nice if Lemmy and Piefed had a way to limit posting and commenting to subscribers. That should at least stop accidental comments while keeping visibility.

                      Not for me, because I'm aubscribed because I'm curious and might want to share interesting threads with my wife.

                      Anyways, brb making a feature request.

                      Edit: [email protected] moved to Piefed, so the feature request should be made there. And I just lost a half typed request to Android's bullshit memory management and now I don't have any energy left. Someone else can take over.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      2
                      • H [email protected]

                        OK, I pulled out a computer for you so I could see the rules side by side with my post because my mobile client doesn't allow it.

                        Rule 1: Be nice and; have fun

                        Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here.

                        OP came in swinging hot, maybe a little toxic, but there are valid points behind the hot words.

                        However, OP has shown that they are able to accept other viewpoints from valid arguments (https://lemmy.ca/post/48960508/18080134). So I would argue this is borderline.

                        I have to say, I have no idea what sealioning is though.

                        Rule 5: This is not a support community.

                        It is not a place for ‘how do I?’, type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

                        This isn't a "How do I". This is an open ended attempt (with some frustration) to try to under why members of the community do certain things.

                        That's my view anyway. What's yours?

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #71

                        I shared my view and left the community. Was something about my comment unclear?

                        H 1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                          im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                          the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                          what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #72

                          Man here, there have been several times when I have found a thread talking about men and shitting all over all men and painting with broad strokes, claiming that we are all awful and just looking to use women.

                          I feel offended at indirectly being included in a group like that, and have joined in discussions in the past to try and explain that we are not all terrible people.

                          Over time however, I have learned to ignore the hate spewers and just move on.

                          Personally, if I see a community where the rules are politely explaining the situation, I just block the community out of respect for the xommunity.

                          A K 2 Replies Last reply
                          4
                          • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                            im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                            the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                            what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                            gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG This user is from outside of this forum
                            gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.deG This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #73

                            Lemmy is a public space. Everyone can participate.

                            Imagine if lemmy was a physical piece of public land. Could you create a community on it that can only be accessed by women? Something like this village?

                            starlinguk@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                              im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                              the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                              what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                              A This user is from outside of this forum
                              A This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #74

                              Are women allowed to answer this question? It's directed at men.

                              E 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • H [email protected]

                                OK, I pulled out a computer for you so I could see the rules side by side with my post because my mobile client doesn't allow it.

                                Rule 1: Be nice and; have fun

                                Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here.

                                OP came in swinging hot, maybe a little toxic, but there are valid points behind the hot words.

                                However, OP has shown that they are able to accept other viewpoints from valid arguments (https://lemmy.ca/post/48960508/18080134). So I would argue this is borderline.

                                I have to say, I have no idea what sealioning is though.

                                Rule 5: This is not a support community.

                                It is not a place for ‘how do I?’, type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

                                This isn't a "How do I". This is an open ended attempt (with some frustration) to try to under why members of the community do certain things.

                                That's my view anyway. What's yours?

                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #75

                                Sealioning is when someone pretends to be 'just asking questions' in good faith in an attempt to sow discord in a community.

                                otter@lemmy.dbzer0.comO 1 Reply Last reply
                                6
                                • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                                  im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                                  the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                                  what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #76

                                  For the same reason why women can't stay out of male-only spaces. Women have been demonizing male-only spaces for decades. If male-only spaces are bad, female-only spaces are bad... I see no other 'equal law for all genders' reasonable outcome

                                  E 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    Man here, there have been several times when I have found a thread talking about men and shitting all over all men and painting with broad strokes, claiming that we are all awful and just looking to use women.

                                    I feel offended at indirectly being included in a group like that, and have joined in discussions in the past to try and explain that we are not all terrible people.

                                    Over time however, I have learned to ignore the hate spewers and just move on.

                                    Personally, if I see a community where the rules are politely explaining the situation, I just block the community out of respect for the xommunity.

                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #77

                                    Those people hate people who come in and say "not all men." They will say that it's obvious they are not talking about all men. They don't feel like they should make the disclaimer. We have the complaints about "not all men" men here in this very thread.

                                    But what are you going to do? That's just how women are.

                                    spankmonkey@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
                                    3
                                    • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                                      im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                                      the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                                      what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #78

                                      I apologize for the shitty behavior of other men.

                                      That being said, how do you feel about men reading those posts on women only communities, if they don't reply, comment or vote?

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                                        im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                                        the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                                        what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                        L This user is from outside of this forum
                                        L This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #79

                                        Based on the comments here and in the previous similar post I have seen, the vast, vast majority of people (presumably men) highlight how this is a problem of visibility of posts in public feeds.

                                        It's a tradeoff between having the community public for discoverability and accepting that many people will not check the rules and violate them, some inadvertently.

                                        The alternative is to make the community private, and accept that women will need to discover a women-relates community by searching for "women", which doesn't seem incredibly unlikely.

                                        From the sentiments I read, most people wouldn't care at all if the community was private and wouldn't have a desire to "invade" it. I definitely feel part of this group.

                                        Considering that it's in the interest of the community (apparently) to have only women, I think it's fair to expect the (minimal) effort from future members to look for it (plus advertising it in posts etc.) on them instead of expecting the vast majority of the users (the fediverse is mostly males) to add friction and having to check the rules of every single community of every post they open (now it might be a community, more might come). Yes, community rules are important, but being realistic, if you don't behave like an asshole you don't need to worry about them in 99% of the times.

                                        However, if this tradeoff is not deemed acceptable, I think there is no point complaining about people "invading" women spaces because it's guaranteed that many people will comment without reading the rules, as I am sure the almost totality of users does all the time. Even without counting the ones who intentionally violate the rule, there is always going to be an organic amount of people who will do so inadvertently.

                                        At this point I think the tradeoff is so clear, that discussing the topic in such a confrontational way looks more like rage-bait than anything aimed at solving the problem.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        9
                                        • K [email protected]

                                          TIL there is women only spaces on the internet. How do you even enforce it?

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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #80

                                          Ask the UK government

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