Would you become romantically involved with someone with vastly different religious views?
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I'm an atheist. I dated a woman once who believed in spirits. I think she experienced night terrors among other things and interpreted them as supernatural phenomena. It didn't cause problems then but I was a lot younger and I think now I'm less tolerant of that sort of thing. But who knows - I was crazy about her so maybe if I meet a woman I'm crazy about like that again then I'll tolerate anything.
More recently I've dated people who believe in a vague sort of life after death but never someone who practiced any religion. I think I would immediately rule out practicing religious people if I were going through a list (as when dating online) but if I met someone in person, really liked her, and then found out she was religious then I'm not sure what I would do. It would definitely be off-putting.
The problem for me isn't the lifestyle differences but rather my impression that religious people are missing the point about the basic nature of existence, when it really should be obvious. It makes me feel like I'm patronizing them, because to be frank I don't tend to think of them as my intellectual equals. (And I know that makes me sound like a pompous jerk.)
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Yea I kinda get the same feeling. Although for a lot of people their religion does not preclude the acceptation/understanding of a physical world, it's a more of set of rites that they inherited and that's part of their identity. There's plenty of religious people who are scientists. For some, I imagine it may be difficult to reconcile.
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Marry me
who needs tinder when there's lemmy ?
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I think the biggest problem is when one partner believes that the other is condemned for eternity in some way (not just a hell, but also other forms like reincarnation to a lower state or anything else deemed bad)...and either they spend the relationship trying to change the other person and probably ruining it, or worse, they accept that fate for someone they claim to love.
As an atheist, I don't have that concern that my loved one is doomed to torment somehow, I just have the here and now to try and make their life with me as pleasant as I can. There is the issue of whether or not an atheist could live with someone whose rational is governed by beliefs that affect their judgement, either like mentioned above trying to convert them for their sake, or in other ways where religion steers them vs. having their own thoughts. But for what I think is a large majority, religious people mostly go through the motions if any just to fill some subconscious uncertainty and it's not enough to threaten a relationship with a differing viewpoint.
The human brain is very good at compartmentalizing things to help us get through the day.
Yea I suppose if you consider your significant other to be a filthy kuffar doomed to wade through lava for the rest of time.... that relationship is going to be a ride
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who needs tinder when there's lemmy ?
Best way to find a boyfriend who knoes his way around Linux
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I'm atheist, and my partner was Muslim when I first knew her.
People say it doesn't mater - but honestly it really fucking does.
Imagine being in relationship with someone who never really left North Korea, deep down. There's so much fear, so much fear-driven obedience, and so much fear-driven defense of the indefensible.
I never really understood the concept of freedom of conscience until I was arguing with one of her friends about Amina Lawal, the Nigerian woman sentenced to death by stoning for adultery - with her sentence delayed until her baby was weaned. Despite being really very progressive at heart, my partner ended up arguing in favour of it - and then later on was seriously pissed off at me for making her defend that.
She ended up deconverting several years later (certainly not at my behest), and things got immeasurably better from then on.
But that's not a possibility I'd recommend banking on. My honest advice is just don't go there, it's far more stressful than you think it is.
Damn that is hardcore
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Title. Interested to see the response from different religions
Edit: Stating your religion would be appreciated. Lack of religion counts for the purpose of this question. Also let's not downvote people for differing religions, all voices are welcome here. If no; why?
Atheist, married to a Buddhist. He prays daily and has his rituals.
Made it clear from the start that I'm ok with religion as long as they don't try to convert me or harm others.
Aside some dietary requirements, it works quite well. Married for 9 years now.
This works quite well for us, but results and experience may differ based on religion, patience and personal beliefs. I imagine I might have a hard time dating a religious zealot though.
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Title. Interested to see the response from different religions
Edit: Stating your religion would be appreciated. Lack of religion counts for the purpose of this question. Also let's not downvote people for differing religions, all voices are welcome here. If no; why?
Probably not, but that entirely depends on what Religion is for Them. If Religion is only something that they themselves belief in and practice I dont really have a problem with it. If they however use their religious views to suppress others (e.g. trying to talk someone out of having an abortion because "pro life") that's an absolute no go for myself.
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I don't. Believe whatever you want to believe. My wife thinks bigfoot, ancient aliens, ghosts, werewolves, vampires, demons, angels, etc exist. I think that statically aliens have to exist but the rest are bunk. It doesn't affect me if she believes those things.
My therapist once told me he believed that aliens had been in communication with the US government since the Reagan administration and I had to think about how I wanted to react to that for a little bit. He was an incredibly helpful therapist, but I considered that fucking nuts. I totally agree that aliens likely exist in some fashion, just as a result of probability, but I don’t think they’re here or in secret communication with humans. My therapist thinking they were made me doubt his judgment in other areas. In the end, I decided that he could have a blind spot about aliens and still be an effective therapist.
I’m not religious, and though I absolutely respect and am almost jealous of the ritual/communal aspect of religion, I honestly think people who really believe in it are a bit deluded, which feels pretty judgmental and shitty of me. My attitude towards religious people has become a lot more open over time though- I was a stereotypical 15 year old atheist shithead in my catholic high school- so I can imagine that eventually I won’t feel at all condescending about it.
I don’t think I would have been at all bothered if my therapist was religious (depending on the religion), but I would not be able to be in a relationship with someone who was. Weirdly, I think I’d be more accepting of a partner believing in aliens. I guess I care more about a shared understanding of the universe with a partner and more about critical thinking skills from a therapist, lol.
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Title. Interested to see the response from different religions
Edit: Stating your religion would be appreciated. Lack of religion counts for the purpose of this question. Also let's not downvote people for differing religions, all voices are welcome here. If no; why?
Atheist. I'm quite relaxed about it as long as I don't have to take part in the silly rituals. I've dated a lot of picky eaters so I'm okay with not having bacon at home or whatever your dietary restrictions may be.
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Atheist, married to a Buddhist. He prays daily and has his rituals.
Made it clear from the start that I'm ok with religion as long as they don't try to convert me or harm others.
Aside some dietary requirements, it works quite well. Married for 9 years now.
This works quite well for us, but results and experience may differ based on religion, patience and personal beliefs. I imagine I might have a hard time dating a religious zealot though.
Same here. I am not interested in religion (so not even really atheist), wife is Buddhist doing Buddhist things. Married for 40 years this year, and it's not an issue.
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wrote on last edited by [email protected]
During the pandemic, I dated/isolated with a Unitarian. I grew up catholic and I love rituals, so it was a nice service to take part in online. They also organized a regular lunch program for people in the area who had recently been kicked out of the shelter due to the pandemic. I made about 200 lunches a week and they delivered in total about 1500 weekly, along with homemade masks (early pandemic) and bottles of hand sanitizer.
It was a really lovely and non theistic way to take part in the good about religion. Religious humanism sounds similar.
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Title. Interested to see the response from different religions
Edit: Stating your religion would be appreciated. Lack of religion counts for the purpose of this question. Also let's not downvote people for differing religions, all voices are welcome here. If no; why?
Yeah absolutely. I'm not religious per se but vaguely spiritual and I get along fine with religious people as long as they don't force it on others. In fact I like hearing about other perspectives so it could even be something drawing me in.
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You know that non-abrahamic religions exist, right?
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Title. Interested to see the response from different religions
Edit: Stating your religion would be appreciated. Lack of religion counts for the purpose of this question. Also let's not downvote people for differing religions, all voices are welcome here. If no; why?
I don't understand your question.
If you are romantically involved, you won't mind religion.
If you mind religion, you won't get romantically involved.Never heard of a situation where someone says I fell in love with a person despite absolutely not wanting to accept their religion or religiousness. Seems ridiculous.
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Title. Interested to see the response from different religions
Edit: Stating your religion would be appreciated. Lack of religion counts for the purpose of this question. Also let's not downvote people for differing religions, all voices are welcome here. If no; why?
As long as they don't try to convert me, yes.
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Yea I kinda get the same feeling. Although for a lot of people their religion does not preclude the acceptation/understanding of a physical world, it's a more of set of rites that they inherited and that's part of their identity. There's plenty of religious people who are scientists. For some, I imagine it may be difficult to reconcile.
I know that there are religious scientists and I think humans often compartmentalize beliefs in such a way that their belief about the supernatural doesn't affect their assessment of real-world situations. I'll even go further and say that often it seems like their belief affects their behavior much less than it logically ought to, with some (but not all) people who apparently sincerely believe in an all-seeing God and an afterlife still acting just like atheists in relevant situations. In this context, the fanatics are sometimes technically the more rational ones - I disagree with their premises, but their actions make sense if those premises are considered true.
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I don't understand your question.
If you are romantically involved, you won't mind religion.
If you mind religion, you won't get romantically involved.Never heard of a situation where someone says I fell in love with a person despite absolutely not wanting to accept their religion or religiousness. Seems ridiculous.
I 100% know people who never discussed their religion/culture before starting to date and then refused to address their obvious religious/cultural differences for way to long. I live in a major city in the US so we have tons of people from all sorts of backgrounds. Some people I know don't want to bring up their religious/cultural beliefs until they know the person a bit better but by then they are in deep and don't want to leave despite the glaring differences.
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Would you turn someone down for believing in heaven/hell/etc alone?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]That's potentially included in wishy-washy christianity. The important part is how they act on it. Though it certainly mystifies me how you can believe in that stuff and then act as if it doesn't, but that's kinda how people roll in my parts ...
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I 100% know people who never discussed their religion/culture before starting to date and then refused to address their obvious religious/cultural differences for way to long. I live in a major city in the US so we have tons of people from all sorts of backgrounds. Some people I know don't want to bring up their religious/cultural beliefs until they know the person a bit better but by then they are in deep and don't want to leave despite the glaring differences.
Well, that means at some point you either accept their religion and keep being romantically involved, or you can't accept their religion and stop being romantically involved. It might be a temporary situation as you described, but nothing that can last in that scenario long term.
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I know that there are religious scientists and I think humans often compartmentalize beliefs in such a way that their belief about the supernatural doesn't affect their assessment of real-world situations. I'll even go further and say that often it seems like their belief affects their behavior much less than it logically ought to, with some (but not all) people who apparently sincerely believe in an all-seeing God and an afterlife still acting just like atheists in relevant situations. In this context, the fanatics are sometimes technically the more rational ones - I disagree with their premises, but their actions make sense if those premises are considered true.
It's certainly weird how many people say that they believe and then just ... don't do anything that their belief says they should do.
