What is a fair way to split costs when my girlfriend moves in? (I own the apartment)
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Stumbled into c/relationshipmath over here
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I personally would feel weird collecting rent money from my girlfriend that provides me equity. Did you ask her what she thinks?
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Math is off.
He makes 30% more than her.
If she makes 100, he makes 130. The total income is 230.Her income is 44% of that (100/230) and his is 56% (130/230).
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I am seriously concerned that in your mind, without payment she would have to ask for permission.
In my personal situation, my gf is staying with me regularly for a while (LDR atm). When she stays here she doesn't have to pay for anything. (She wants to pay for some food) The only thing, I have requested in that situation, is that she tells me when she brings a friend to our place and that preferably I would like to know the friend before they appear in my private space. In other words, I just don't want to open the door and see an unexpected stranger sitting on my couch. Please note, I asked her to respect that. I asked.
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Yeah exactly people getting married when they have no business or maturity to do so. Imagine needing complete strangers on the internet to tell you how to charge someone you love rent.
Then imagine being stupid enough to quote divorce statistics to people who point out how dumb that is.
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Not a financial advisor so take my answer with a massive chunk of salt.
My suggestion would be to get a joint account. If you are comfortable paying all the bills you can also have it overdraft to your account in case of emergencies. The move money into it monthly for bills. I would round up on your bills so you could build a little nest egg at the same time. You move everything that you have been paying into it. And ask her to move what she can into it. If she feels comfortable paying 50%, then do that. If things go sideways, split any extra money by the percentage she is paying. Then if things do go sideways then you can take your piece and have a nice vacation. If they don’t, you have nice rainy day fund.
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if she helps pay the mortgage or renovations or anything that increases the value of the house she gets to own part of the house otherwise its completely unfair, split utilities according to income and thats it.
Probably best to let her dictate the price though since there is such an imbalance of power at play
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that still means she helped pay off the mortgage, and she should accordingly own a part of the house even if she "bolted"
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The logic is that she didn't pay any equity into the house. That makes the situation similar to two people sharing the monthly rent on a rented apartment.
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My wife and I lived together for a bit back when we were dating. We did some math:
Combined rent + $savings = my old rent + her old rent
Then we split the combined rent roughly 1/3 - 2/3 (my salary was higher than hers at the time) so that we were both paying less than we had been before.
We split utilities 50/50 which was kind of a mistake IMO -- I regret the accounting chore that it created. One of us would pay the rent by hand (USA, so paper check to the landlord), but utilities were on auto-pay from my account. We'd have to tally up utilities and add it or subtract it to the rent in order to reimburse the other person when they paid the rent.
Instead of that nonsense, I'd suggest estimating your utilities and split that figure 50/50 - then maybe look at it again once a year in case costs change.
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Oh, I think that advice comes from a good place, it's just misguided. People look at it and say "your partner shouldn't be your cash cow".
OTOH, I think it's important for both people to be contributing to the household financially. That helps keep a certain balance in the relationship even if it's just a token amount.
I think it's more important that they come up with a system that they both think is fair. If moving in together leaves one person feeling like they're being taken for a ride, it'll wreck the relationship.
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Your proposal seems fair to me.
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Fair points. I lacked in perspective but you brought me some, so I thank you
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it's the cost of purchasing a house. Two people paying a landlord is more similar to having two girlfriends who pay off the mortgage. This is more like one person sharing the cost of the loan on a house they won't get to keep.
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Ok, but like it also doesn’t seem fair for the non-owner romantic partner to just get free rent, no?
This is more like one person sharing the cost of the loan on a house they won't get to keep.
If the owner sells the property, they will not get back any of the money spent on interest. Thats the point. The assumption is that the principal is the best representation of the portion that the property owner gets to keep.
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Yeah. The only thing I'd clarify is if she is paying rent or contributing to the mortgage. Paying rent is cleaner and she isn't paying half, but it is important to have an understanding about this in case there is a breakup or death.
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Yes that seemed obvious to me but you’re right it’s worth clarifying this is a rent payment, and not a contribution towards the mortgage.
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well to me it doesn't seem fair for the non-owner to help pay off the house and the other getting to own all of it.
The price for owning that house is not just the loan but the interest as well. A home is more than a financial investment, but a necessity. Imagine buying a car that you let your SO use but insisting that she pay a quarter of the cost because the car loses half its value as soon as you drive it off the lot and it's only fair that she pay half of that money thats "lost"
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A car loses its value when you drive it off the lot because it’s a depreciating asset. That money doesn’t go to the bank or the owner. It just vanished.
Homes typically increase in value or at least hold value. When you sell your home, you won’t get back any of the money you gave to the bank as interest, but in theory everything else including your down payment will be returned to you.
So to me it makes sense that while a partner is living with you and if they are committed to helping pay for utilities and whatnot, they can also contribute to the cost of living at the home. I believe helping to pay the interest is a fair an equitable way to do that.
I mean when you’re renting a place you’re more than likely helping the owner pay off their loan anyway. It’s just another step removed.
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I mean when you’re renting a place you’re more than likely helping the owner pay off their loan anyway. It’s just another step removed.
and you think thats fair???
