what’s the difference between a narcissistic person and just an asshole?
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NPD and BPD are both driven by an eternal sucking void of insecurity and negative self-esteem that can never be filled.
Narcissists try to fill it with praise and social status, or failing that, power and subjugation.
Borderlines try to fill it with limerence and victimhood or failing that, revenge.
But it can't ever be filled - it's worse than addiction, worse than being underwater in some shitty MLM scheme. It takes and takes and takes because fuck you, pay me.
So they don't have friends or loved ones, they have hosts. They suck out all the goodness until there's nothing left to give, then they start in on the pain.
Assholes, in the other hand, are just driven by simple greed, callousness and lack of consideration. They can and do still hurt people of course, but it's not an all-consuming obsessive need.
Good thing is BPD is treatable with DBT. The therapy teaches them how to balance the rapidly shifting emotions, and how to break the feeling, judgement,action chain that drives their behaviours.
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how would you tell, since “narcissist” is used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.
Functionally, not much I can see , the former's slur for people with NPD (or whom person saying it thinks has NPD)
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Functionally, not much I can see , the former's slur for people with NPD (or whom person saying it thinks has NPD)
it’s a slur? let me change the title then
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Every narcissist is an asshole, but not every asshole is a narcissist
That's definitely not true. Narcissism is a personality disorder like any other. If it's worked on and treated it can be fine.
There are no mental disorders that inherently make someone a bad person.
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it’s a slur? let me change the title then
️ so what differentiates some one with (NPD|just some asshole) is one obviously has disability while the other dœsn't (necessarily)NPD ≠ asshole disorder . More complex than that , and (assholish|selfcentered)ness isn't innate trait some peops have
Not gꝏd with explaining , srry
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how would you tell, since “narcissist” is used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.
I am not a narcissist. I don't think I'm better or more important than anyone else. I don't think I'm the center of the universe.
I am however, an asshole. Knowing you are not the best or smartest, doesn't mean you can't be arrogant and insufferable.
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️ so what differentiates some one with (NPD|just some asshole) is one obviously has disability while the other dœsn't (necessarily)
NPD ≠ asshole disorder . More complex than that , and (assholish|selfcentered)ness isn't innate trait some peops have
Not gꝏd with explaining , srry
ohh, thanks!
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how would you tell, since “narcissist” is used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.
Sam Vikins... "Malignant self love" explains everything. Or check out his yt.
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That's definitely not true. Narcissism is a personality disorder like any other. If it's worked on and treated it can be fine.
There are no mental disorders that inherently make someone a bad person.
That's a fair and valid point
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Good thing is BPD is treatable with DBT. The therapy teaches them how to balance the rapidly shifting emotions, and how to break the feeling, judgement,action chain that drives their behaviours.
Treatable is an optimistic way to describe it. My therapist friend says it's virtually like starting from scratch with every session she does with a borderline, they're super resistant to treatment and have very poor insight.
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how would you tell, since “narcissist” is used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.
I spend a lot of time mulling this over, since my therapist thinks that both my SO and MIL have malignant narcissism.
What I can say about both of them is that they really find doing emotionally disruptive things absolutely vital to their lives. MIL likes to pit her kids against each other so she can watch them fight, and she smiles like a vampire who just had a delicious blood feast when she sees it. Her only grandchild develops an eating disorder? Nothing will do but to run out and buy her some size XXL pyjamas to make her feel worse. Everything for her is a provocation and meant to trigger a negative reaction, because that's what she gets off on. It's beyond being an asshole, it's pathological and emotionally disturbing.
My SO, one of the biggest examples is the gifts he buys me. They're usually highly thoughtful and unique, but they're also really for him (it's several times been a piece of art), and part of it is so he can take pictures of them for Instagram and display his fine taste in things to everyone. If I tried to move out and take those things with me, he'd probably break my arm. Nothing is really a gift with him, it's just a way for him to get himself something he can show off with. Or he'll spend a long time taking pictures of things we've bought on trips just to show what interesting and unique tastes he has and how therefore he's better than anyone else. It's really tone deaf and it really reflects how he doesn't actually enjoy anything, but rather what doing something or buying something will help to elevate his status in his mind. It's tiresome and tone deaf. It isn't that I don't like the gifts, but the whole point is that they're not really gifts at all, and my birthday or whatever is just an excuse to acquire something that makes him feel important.
I think an asshole would just not be bothered with anything so deliberately manipulative, but just be really careless with your feelings and react badly when they get angry. I think that's the difference is the deep rooted pathological nature of it.
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Treatable is an optimistic way to describe it. My therapist friend says it's virtually like starting from scratch with every session she does with a borderline, they're super resistant to treatment and have very poor insight.
Depends on the person, but yeah some therapists give up. The patient has to be willing to monitor themselves and mark their DBT skills card daily. If they put in no effort they get no result.
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