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  3. what’s the difference between a narcissistic person and just an asshole?

what’s the difference between a narcissistic person and just an asshole?

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  • O [email protected]

    Functionally, not much I can see , the former's slur for people with NPD (or whom person saying it thinks has NPD)

    drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
    drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #21

    it’s a slur? let me change the title then

    O 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • N [email protected]

      Every narcissist is an asshole, but not every asshole is a narcissist

      maven@lemmy.zipM This user is from outside of this forum
      maven@lemmy.zipM This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #22

      That's definitely not true. Narcissism is a personality disorder like any other. If it's worked on and treated it can be fine.

      There are no mental disorders that inherently make someone a bad person.

      N 1 Reply Last reply
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      • drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD [email protected]

        it’s a slur? let me change the title then

        O This user is from outside of this forum
        O This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote on last edited by
        #23

        🆗️ so what differentiates some one with (NPD|just some asshole) is one obviously has disability while the other dœsn't (necessarily)

        NPD ≠ asshole disorder . More complex than that , and (assholish|selfcentered)ness isn't innate trait some peops have

        Not gꝏd with explaining , srry

        drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD 1 Reply Last reply
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        • drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD [email protected]

          how would you tell, since “narcissist” is used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.

          R This user is from outside of this forum
          R This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote on last edited by
          #24

          I am not a narcissist. I don't think I'm better or more important than anyone else. I don't think I'm the center of the universe.

          I am however, an asshole. Knowing you are not the best or smartest, doesn't mean you can't be arrogant and insufferable.

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          • O [email protected]

            🆗️ so what differentiates some one with (NPD|just some asshole) is one obviously has disability while the other dœsn't (necessarily)

            NPD ≠ asshole disorder . More complex than that , and (assholish|selfcentered)ness isn't innate trait some peops have

            Not gꝏd with explaining , srry

            drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
            drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #25

            ohh, thanks!

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            • drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD [email protected]

              how would you tell, since “narcissist” is used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.

              D This user is from outside of this forum
              D This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote on last edited by
              #26

              Sam Vikins... "Malignant self love" explains everything. Or check out his yt.

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              • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]

                That's definitely not true. Narcissism is a personality disorder like any other. If it's worked on and treated it can be fine.

                There are no mental disorders that inherently make someone a bad person.

                N This user is from outside of this forum
                N This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #27

                That's a fair and valid point

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                • B [email protected]

                  Good thing is BPD is treatable with DBT. The therapy teaches them how to balance the rapidly shifting emotions, and how to break the feeling, judgement,action chain that drives their behaviours.

                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                  B This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote on last edited by
                  #28

                  Treatable is an optimistic way to describe it. My therapist friend says it's virtually like starting from scratch with every session she does with a borderline, they're super resistant to treatment and have very poor insight.

                  B 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD [email protected]

                    how would you tell, since “narcissist” is used so often to describe a regular, typical asshole.

                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #29

                    I spend a lot of time mulling this over, since my therapist thinks that both my SO and MIL have malignant narcissism.

                    What I can say about both of them is that they really find doing emotionally disruptive things absolutely vital to their lives. MIL likes to pit her kids against each other so she can watch them fight, and she smiles like a vampire who just had a delicious blood feast when she sees it. Her only grandchild develops an eating disorder? Nothing will do but to run out and buy her some size XXL pyjamas to make her feel worse. Everything for her is a provocation and meant to trigger a negative reaction, because that's what she gets off on. It's beyond being an asshole, it's pathological and emotionally disturbing.

                    My SO, one of the biggest examples is the gifts he buys me. They're usually highly thoughtful and unique, but they're also really for him (it's several times been a piece of art), and part of it is so he can take pictures of them for Instagram and display his fine taste in things to everyone. If I tried to move out and take those things with me, he'd probably break my arm. Nothing is really a gift with him, it's just a way for him to get himself something he can show off with. Or he'll spend a long time taking pictures of things we've bought on trips just to show what interesting and unique tastes he has and how therefore he's better than anyone else. It's really tone deaf and it really reflects how he doesn't actually enjoy anything, but rather what doing something or buying something will help to elevate his status in his mind. It's tiresome and tone deaf. It isn't that I don't like the gifts, but the whole point is that they're not really gifts at all, and my birthday or whatever is just an excuse to acquire something that makes him feel important.

                    I think an asshole would just not be bothered with anything so deliberately manipulative, but just be really careless with your feelings and react badly when they get angry. I think that's the difference is the deep rooted pathological nature of it.

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                    • B [email protected]

                      Treatable is an optimistic way to describe it. My therapist friend says it's virtually like starting from scratch with every session she does with a borderline, they're super resistant to treatment and have very poor insight.

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #30

                      Depends on the person, but yeah some therapists give up. The patient has to be willing to monitor themselves and mark their DBT skills card daily. If they put in no effort they get no result.

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