You guys have any conversation starters to offer a poor lemming?
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Not a great lead itself, but a useful poke a hippy at a festival taught me when the opening conversation starts to fizzle out a bit: "what do you want to tell me? It can be anything at all, take a moment to think about it." Then sit with the silence a bit (don't stare at them, let them think).
Some people will tell you some wild shit and/or open up like crazy if given this invitation. The person who used it on me got my whole life story, shit I was trying to work through by (in part) being there in the first place, etc. The last person who I did this with told me some defining moments in the development of their politics and worldview.
Create comfort, give an open invitation and a little space, and you'd be surprised how quickly you might move from small talk to more substantial stuff. Recommend everyone try it once just to see what the outcome is, so far it's been pretty neat.
You might like the "If you could invent anything in the world, what would it be?"
I used to sketch out ppls' answers and give them the drawing to remind them they're creative even if they never considered themselves in that light before. Bc every single person I ask can come up with at least one thing, from jeans with a star patch on the back pocket to a tiny home village arrayed a certain way.
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Yes, this is indeed what it sounds like. But when I wrote it out like that, I couldn't help but imagine seal noises.
Damned seal pirates. Scourge of the seas!
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up!
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I absolutely love this. Also, what's a poke-a-hippy?
A hippie that uses autocorrect.
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I absolutely love this. Also, what's a poke-a-hippy?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Well I mean, obviously they are hippies you can capture and collect. Sometimes people try to get them to battle, but 99% of them don't like/aren't particularly good at fighting, so they are mostly pets.
Lol, j/k. By poke I meant a conversational poke/prod technique, by hippy I meant...well, a hippy that shared the tip.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
A university-specific one: look up what the agenda of your student leadership is currently debating, then say “hey I heard the student body president is trying to [thing]” and go from there. You might accidentally learn about yourself along the way.
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have you ever killed a man?
I'm so sick of guys asking me about my body count...
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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Not much room for dialogue from there.
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Well I mean, obviously they are hippies you can capture and collect. Sometimes people try to get them to battle, but 99% of them don't like/aren't particularly good at fighting, so they are mostly pets.
Lol, j/k. By poke I meant a conversational poke/prod technique, by hippy I meant...well, a hippy that shared the tip.
Aaaaah the poke isn't describing the hippy! Got it
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Aaaaah the poke isn't describing the hippy! Got it
Good! And no worries, that one is on me. It's a very poorly written sentence
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Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
He was sitting on the deck.
The other pirate couldn't steer his ship because the only wheel he had was sticking out of his pants. If you asked if it bothered him he'd say "Yar, it's drivin' me nuts!"
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have you ever killed a man?
In Reno and I watched him die
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As someone who used to be terrible at socializing but had to learn because I'm an extrovert you've more or less summed it up.
Charisma is real and it's a factor, but it's more like having a good voice and natural presence for public speaking rather than the skills to confront stage fright, properly comport yourself on stage, and work with an audience. A person with 0 interpersonal charisma may never be making a living off socialization, but if they build skills they can easily be well liked and have plenty of friends and a partner. Meanwhile a person with a ton of charisma and no social skills is going to have a hard time keeping people around.
But yeah, practice, practice, practice. And as someone else said, benign comments are great tools. "Some weather we've been having", complimenting something someone is wearing especially if it's bold (as someone who likes bold looks "that [thing] is bold and you make it work" is great), or even "ugh this is way too [early/late/midday] for this [everyday bullshit]
Complimenting people on their outfits is a great one. I do this a lot (the folks in my town are great dressers, what can I say?) and while about half just say thank you and move on (perfectly fine), I have had some people follow up with some other comment, like where they got it from. The last compliment I gave was to a woman with a cute skirt and she was like, "Thanks! I keep looking for the pockets."
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Weekend plans are a good conversation topic with anyone you're already talking to. People spend their weekends with the people they like, going to places they like, doing the things they like. Talking about what people did the last weekend reveals what's important to them, and is a glimpse into their interests and hobbies. If those overlap with yours, you've got something to talk about. Even if they don't, maybe ask about them anyway, and see if you can learn something new about a new interest or hobby.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Some classics
include- do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?
- do you wanna get paid to see the world? Just sign here!
But as someone who went to high school and, until the final year, did not know the names of all classmates, it’s fair to say that I didn’t really care about that at all. Maybe I’m just autistic lol
Just talk about the subject you’re getting a Bachelor‘s degree in and go on from there.
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A university-specific one: look up what the agenda of your student leadership is currently debating, then say “hey I heard the student body president is trying to [thing]” and go from there. You might accidentally learn about yourself along the way.
Bruh nobody even cares about the student gov in uni
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You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up!
wrote last edited by [email protected]Hello, fellow Psycho
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This is an old post i saved for this kind of moment so here ya go.
About 6 or 7 years ago my college roommate told me: Conversation isn’t something any one person is good or bad at, it’s a skill like anything else. Everything changed once I thought about it like this.
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The more new people you talk to the easier it is. Especially the opposite sex.
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Everyone else has their own anxieties and fears. They’re just better at hiding it or masking it than you. Use this to your advantage to point out things you have in common and relate to them.
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When someone talks, LISTEN. Don’t worry about your posture, your dog, your clothing. Listen to them. If you don’t understand something, stop them and ask. Engage with them. Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know.
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Ask open ended questions. Don’t ask, “Did you have a good day?” Instead ask “What was the best part about your day?” “What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about your job?” Make them feel important. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. So do you. Take that feeling and shove it way down. When they ask about you, that’s your turn to shine. If they don’t, you don’t really want to be friends anyway.
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Never one-up people. Even if you are way better, or know way more than the person talking to you, build them up.
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If someone is telling a story or saying something and they get cut off, find the next opportunity to bring them back in. “Hey, _______ you were talking about X, what did you want to say?”
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Laugh at their jokes. Laugh at your jokes. We’re all weird brains walking around in these skin things. Don’t take it so seriously.
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You will remember your mistakes WAY more than anyone else. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
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My last and 2nd most important tip. Start every conversation with a compliment. I don’t care if they’re a dude and you’re straight as fuck. I don’t care if they’re mean, evil to you, or disagree with you politically in every way. Find something about the way they look, and compliment it. Someone did this to me once when I was a new guest at someone’s apartment. “Hey man, that’s an awesome jacket, where’d you get it?” I fucking loved that jacket. And I was self conscious about it. I felt instantly at home.
Take the things you like, and be that person for someone else. If you’re on a date, be genuinely interested in that person.
These are things that worked for me. Find your own style.
The #1 tip!! Go into EVERY room as if people will like you. Seriously. Walk through any door, in front of any group of people and smile. They. Will. Like you. Keep that in the front of your mind and you will enjoy conversations with anyone.
With #4, don't be surprised if they give you a short almost unengaged answer. They might not be warmed up, they might have something else going on ,or they just aren't interested. Either way, give them a couple of chances to signal if they want to join your flow. If not, that's cool... Just move on.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Start talking about The Spanish Inquisition. Nobody ever expects that.
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Not much room for dialogue from there.
But it does tell you if the other person likes dark humor or not. Not a given these days, and definitely something you want to know from the jump.
