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  3. Therapists KNOW the answer, they just REFUSE to TELL US

Therapists KNOW the answer, they just REFUSE to TELL US

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  • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
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    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    It's because they are there to act as a sounding board, not to take away executive power from your mind. You need to come to your own conclusions in life, in order to have peace.

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
    • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
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      capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
      capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
      #4

      At least in my professional experience, it really doesn't fucking matter if I tell you what to do... You're probably going to just keep doing the same shit anyway. In fact, most of the time if I actually tell my clients what they should do, they'll just think I'm an asshole. Not a jaded response, by the way, just 11 years of experience, doing it my way and watching others do it wrong over and over.

      I deal with people with severe behavioral disorders. They know what they're doing and they know what they're supposed to do, but impulse almost always wins over reasoning. If I want someone to change, my ultimate goal is to make them come to a realization and to feel like they did so on their own. Then I want them to want to tell me about it. So then, when they come so me and tell me something, I can listen and give feedback based on our previous talks to reinforce what they did. Hopefully, the next time that issue comes up, they can then use that to make the right decision again.

      The reason it's done this way is because someday, I'm not going to be around to tell you what to do, so you need to be able to figure it out on your own. That's my job. I can give you the tools to change. I can kinda tell you how to use them, but I can't force change on you any more than I can live your life for you.

      Think God in Futurama.

      pugjesus@lemmy.worldP T samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS B 4 Replies Last reply
      21
      • capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

        At least in my professional experience, it really doesn't fucking matter if I tell you what to do... You're probably going to just keep doing the same shit anyway. In fact, most of the time if I actually tell my clients what they should do, they'll just think I'm an asshole. Not a jaded response, by the way, just 11 years of experience, doing it my way and watching others do it wrong over and over.

        I deal with people with severe behavioral disorders. They know what they're doing and they know what they're supposed to do, but impulse almost always wins over reasoning. If I want someone to change, my ultimate goal is to make them come to a realization and to feel like they did so on their own. Then I want them to want to tell me about it. So then, when they come so me and tell me something, I can listen and give feedback based on our previous talks to reinforce what they did. Hopefully, the next time that issue comes up, they can then use that to make the right decision again.

        The reason it's done this way is because someday, I'm not going to be around to tell you what to do, so you need to be able to figure it out on your own. That's my job. I can give you the tools to change. I can kinda tell you how to use them, but I can't force change on you any more than I can live your life for you.

        Think God in Futurama.

        pugjesus@lemmy.worldP This user is from outside of this forum
        pugjesus@lemmy.worldP This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Well, the post was just a joke, but that sounds reasonable.

        capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC 1 Reply Last reply
        2
        • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]

          Well, the post was just a joke, but that sounds reasonable.

          capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
          capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          Oh I know, and it's funny as hell even from my end because it's so very true. I would 100% use a throwback just like that!

          I've just known a lot of folks out there who were soured on therapy, even hostile about it, that I felt it might help to kinda explain why one might use it.

          dmmacniel@feddit.orgD other_cat@lemmy.zipO 2 Replies Last reply
          4
          • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
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            C This user is from outside of this forum
            C This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            So true. I go to one but he at least gives us insight.

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            0
            • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
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              L This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              "What should I do?"

              "What do you think you should do?"

              "I think I should ask my therapist for advice on what I should do."

              kolanaki@pawb.socialK D 2 Replies Last reply
              12
              • L [email protected]

                "What should I do?"

                "What do you think you should do?"

                "I think I should ask my therapist for advice on what I should do."

                kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                "And why do you think that is?"

                J 1 Reply Last reply
                6
                • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                  "And why do you think that is?"

                  J This user is from outside of this forum
                  J This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  Because I'm paying them hundreds of dollars per hour for their advice

                  samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS B T 3 Replies Last reply
                  5
                  • L [email protected]

                    "What should I do?"

                    "What do you think you should do?"

                    "I think I should ask my therapist for advice on what I should do."

                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    Stop asking rapists for advice!

                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                      Oh I know, and it's funny as hell even from my end because it's so very true. I would 100% use a throwback just like that!

                      I've just known a lot of folks out there who were soured on therapy, even hostile about it, that I felt it might help to kinda explain why one might use it.

                      dmmacniel@feddit.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
                      dmmacniel@feddit.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      Sooo therapists can't just do a magical reconstruction, leaving out trauma and shit?

                      Why can't shit be easy just once 😞

                      S capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC 2 Replies Last reply
                      1
                      • D [email protected]

                        Stop asking rapists for advice!

                        L This user is from outside of this forum
                        L This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        But....but.....but.....

                        S 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
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                          vickforcella@mastodon.derg.nzV This user is from outside of this forum
                          vickforcella@mastodon.derg.nzV This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          @PugJesus Also the secret to leadership.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • dmmacniel@feddit.orgD [email protected]

                            Sooo therapists can't just do a magical reconstruction, leaving out trauma and shit?

                            Why can't shit be easy just once 😞

                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            Humans are not easy 😕

                            G 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • L [email protected]

                              But....but.....but.....

                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              S This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              How else should I learn how to do it correctly?

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
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                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                In my humble opinion, unless someone comes up with an idea all by themselves, there is no way they will take my advice on anything.

                                theneverfox@pawb.socialT 1 Reply Last reply
                                6
                                • S [email protected]

                                  In my humble opinion, unless someone comes up with an idea all by themselves, there is no way they will take my advice on anything.

                                  theneverfox@pawb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  theneverfox@pawb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  I like to tell people anyways. Then I ask them what they think I'm going to say. Then they tell me what they think I'm going to say unprompted

                                  And eventually, they're correct

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    Humans are not easy 😕

                                    G This user is from outside of this forum
                                    G This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #19

                                    Unless it's your mum

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • pugjesus@lemmy.worldP [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      marialiv@toot.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
                                      marialiv@toot.ioM This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #20

                                      @PugJesus I went to therapy after my abusive relationship in my 20s. The therapist sat in a chair, SMOKING A PIPE while drawing doodles, and every time I asked "what do you think?" he answered "what do you think?" as if he was a bird repeating what I said.

                                      After a while I lost all respect for therapists, and went and talked to my friends instead. That was much more helpful.

                                      T 1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • marialiv@toot.ioM [email protected]

                                        @PugJesus I went to therapy after my abusive relationship in my 20s. The therapist sat in a chair, SMOKING A PIPE while drawing doodles, and every time I asked "what do you think?" he answered "what do you think?" as if he was a bird repeating what I said.

                                        After a while I lost all respect for therapists, and went and talked to my friends instead. That was much more helpful.

                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #21

                                        That doesn’t sound like a good therapist.

                                        marialiv@toot.ioM sixtyforce@sh.itjust.worksS 2 Replies Last reply
                                        2
                                        • capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                                          At least in my professional experience, it really doesn't fucking matter if I tell you what to do... You're probably going to just keep doing the same shit anyway. In fact, most of the time if I actually tell my clients what they should do, they'll just think I'm an asshole. Not a jaded response, by the way, just 11 years of experience, doing it my way and watching others do it wrong over and over.

                                          I deal with people with severe behavioral disorders. They know what they're doing and they know what they're supposed to do, but impulse almost always wins over reasoning. If I want someone to change, my ultimate goal is to make them come to a realization and to feel like they did so on their own. Then I want them to want to tell me about it. So then, when they come so me and tell me something, I can listen and give feedback based on our previous talks to reinforce what they did. Hopefully, the next time that issue comes up, they can then use that to make the right decision again.

                                          The reason it's done this way is because someday, I'm not going to be around to tell you what to do, so you need to be able to figure it out on your own. That's my job. I can give you the tools to change. I can kinda tell you how to use them, but I can't force change on you any more than I can live your life for you.

                                          Think God in Futurama.

                                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #22

                                          Have you watched Shrinking? I know it’s not a particularly ethical representation of therapy, but I’ve been curious to hear a therapist’s opinion of it as escapism.

                                          capt_wolf@lemmy.worldC 1 Reply Last reply
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