Home owners of Lemmy do you have any advice on dealing with the stress of owning a home?
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I remember going from being super excited that I owned the walls and fixtures around me to then realising I owned the walls and fixtures and no-one else was going to fix them. Not everything needs doing now though, so separate the issues into things you can live with, mid-term renovations and now things.
That's how i deal with it.
It's not causing more damage, it can wait.
It's not someone else who's benefiting from my hard earned money
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
It beats having a landlord.
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I learned to fix it. Before YouTube, that usually means not so great. But now, I usually do at least as good as a job as the people I'd hire.
Fixing stuff is easy, and you have to accept that there's no perfect fix.
Ants, set out ant bait traps. Look outside and see if there's a trail, follow it to the source, and spray it with ant poison.
Cracks, YouTube that. They may be nothing.
Leaks, if it's plumbing, you can buy pipes at home Depot and replace them.
Granted, it will take a while. Maybe all day. But you'll get an endorphin rush when it's done and eventually you'll come to know all the ins and outs of your house.
But it's you look at it and it's too big, Google a company to do it. Even if you're halfway, and find you're stuck. No shame in getting help. This shines you don't have a family member or friend who's already handy.
But really, if you can't fix it, can't afford to have it fixed, just do what you can to keep the house clean and work on it a little bit or put aside money till you can. That's hard, but that's owning a house. Like anything in life, it's difficult. But it doesn't have to stay that way, with enough time and practice.
You're already smarter than many, asking for other's opinions. Don't suffer in silence. I believe in you!
Great advice. Here's another hint for first timers: you're going to get it wrong. Spend half a day replacing a faucet, following all the instructions and the collective wisdom of YouTube. Turn the water back on and... drip, drip.
Patching drywall, fixing a drawer slide, replacing a loose electrical outlet... No matter how much you read or watch there is some finesse to each. Practice and experience will make it so you get it right the first time more often, and then when you're an old person like me you reach a point where you can pretty much do it better than the fly-by-night contractor you'd hire.
One more piece of advice. Don't mess with live electricity. Wall current can stop your heart instantly or start a fire in the middle of the night. Turn off breakers and be diligent about tightening connections and keeping things to code, but don't be too afraid of it. A little bit of awareness is all it takes. And the first time you turn that breaker back on it may pop, then you'll see what went wrong and never make that mistake again.
I know I said one more, but here is one more "one more". Hit yard sales or estate sales for cheap tools. You'll have to do this proactively and not when you actually need them. Usually you can pick up stuff for pennies on the dollar. An old caulk gun, adjustable wrench, half box of drywall screws... All good to pickup on the cheap.
I know DIY isn't everyone's favorite past time, but after the first few things you tackle you might find it actually enjoyable. I know the combination of saving money, securing my home's integrity, and completing a job well done is something I look forward to.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Do a task everyday.
Making sure to keep working on a fixer-upper by doing something everyday will help reach the goal of maintaining rather than falling behind. Focus on things that can get worse faster. Leaks and shorts would be a top priority that should not wait. KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF MAIN WATER AND POWER. Make sure this can be done quickly.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Start watching DIY vids and learning how to fix as much as you can yourself. Lowers repair bills and anxiety.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Invest in basic tools and have good relations with local repair persons, try to learn from them too as they fix stuffs. Hands on expertise is more helpful than theoretical how to knowledge. Also invest time in designing fail safe insect and paste management and plumbing. Bit of initial work usually pays off later.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
I don't see enough people mentioning this, but preventative maintenance can save you a lot of money.
Another thing I would recommend is to be familiar with the systems in your house, what fuel does your furnace use? What type of water heater do you have? how old are the fuses in the fuse box? Does your electrical panel have a surge protector? Do you have a water pump should your basement begin to flood? Do you have a generator panel? Knowing how these work can save you money on trouble shooting.
For example, if you live in an area with lots of squirrels, it might be worth putting up chicken wire on any entrance to the attic from the outdoors. Ex: air vents. If I would have done this, I would have saved $900 from chewed wires that could have started a fire.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Remember this is a marathon and not a sprint. So think in long terms for fixing things. Even if you sell the house having something done correctly will increase the value. Fix something and maintain as best as possible to keep it working or as high value. This feels best if you do it room by room so you can enjoy the things you fixed.
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Know when to bodge a fix, and when to nut up and spend some time and money on something.
Damp mouldy patch on the ceiling? Have a look in the ceiling space, see if you can spot the issue, fix it if it's easy. Slap some mould killer on it, done, don't worry about it.
If it comes back? Get it fixed.Writing shit down helps. I've got a whole todo list of things that need to be fixed. It's shitty how long it is, but because it's written down it's already half taken care of and I don't have that random stress of 'oh good that's right there's a leaky shower' and having to remember to do that thing.
List the issues, google one by one how to bodge it, decide if it's worth it.
If you have a damp moldy spot on a ceiling, that's likely leaking from the roof. Roof leaks can be very difficult to find; if you have asphalt shingles that are starting to curl at the corners, then it's probably just time to replace them, along with flashing. Thankfully, depending on the pitch of your roof, re-roofing isn't that awful. It gets ugly it you have a really steep roof pitch, or if you have an flat EPDM roof in a brick home.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Well. No, not really. Owning a house is just stressful, period. And sometimes really expensive things happen that you couldn't foresee.
For ants, you want to get food-safe diatomaceous earth, and a bulb-style dispenser. If you can tell where they're coming from, blow some diatomaceous earth in there. It's completely safe for people and pets, but will kill insects. There's also some non-toxic treatments for wood--Nissin Boracare, for instance--that will help prevent termite, ant, and powderpost beetle infestations.
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Well. No, not really. Owning a house is just stressful, period. And sometimes really expensive things happen that you couldn't foresee.
For ants, you want to get food-safe diatomaceous earth, and a bulb-style dispenser. If you can tell where they're coming from, blow some diatomaceous earth in there. It's completely safe for people and pets, but will kill insects. There's also some non-toxic treatments for wood--Nissin Boracare, for instance--that will help prevent termite, ant, and powderpost beetle infestations.
Personally I haven't had luck with diatomaceous earth and ants, they seemed willing to sacrifice a few ants to push a trail through the powder and then they were fine (I had to admire this strategy, something I would have never considered). I have had great luck with those ant baits that are a mix of sugar water and borax.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
So many people who are mentally and cognitively bankrupt own houses. They never do any maintenance on them, or if they do, they never do it right. And yet, their houses aren’t (always) falling apart.
Houses are more sturdy than our anxieties convince us. Fix things little by little as they come, prioritize what comes first. Your house won’t fall apart or blow up. This is what I tell my wife when she gets nervous about something creaking.
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It beats having a landlord.
This is it for me. There are a lot of things that aren't awesome about owning and maintaining a house, but not dealing with a smug, PITA landlord every month is absolutely worth it to me.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Learn how to fix things in your house and it will give you the confidence to stop worrying about every little thing or sound.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Bought cheap and underestimated the effort needed to make it your ideal. At least that's my experience. It can get overwhelming at times but I find a certain peace I'm taking it as the demon you know. I get a lot of bugs in the spring when the weather starts to warm and it's damn annoying, but know that when the weather gets more stable they'll leave and I can get back to normal. It's sort of a zen thing to recognize that it's almost 100 years old, so yeah, there are going to be some annoyances, can't call it unexpected.
Basically just make it your own, and do what you can when you can. Unless you're rich and have all the resources/time in the world there's no point in getting in a panic that it can't all be done at once.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
It's yours. Every single thing you can fix is one less thing you need to fix and adds towards your home being more yours.
I bought a house almost 100 years old, badly upkept throughout the years (someone thought it was a good idea to cover wood with cement without making sure it would not wick moisture), severely modified (it was divided into 5 separate apartments) and altered (I have a shower stall inside a bedroom!), it has a lot of work to be done and I sure have too litle time but I'll be damned it's mine!
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
I had a shitty house and it is so stressful. Just do things as you can. #1 was metal roof so I didn't have to think about the roof ever again. Get tented for dry wood termites after paying off the roof (they are everywhere here but very slow eaters). Get flooring one room at a time. Learn enough plumbing to replace fixtures, and get new piping throughout house after recovering.
My only real tip is get roommates, split these costs among more wage earners or if you know someone handy and homeless let them live with you for free and pay them a little for the work too.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
You can do anything you put your mind to. I spent a significant amount of effort (~1500 hours over 11 months) completely remolding my partner and my first house, including re wiring and re plumbing with no previous experience.
If something goes wrong or you want to change this, seriously, you can do it all on your own. Spend some time researching the problem and watching videos of other people doing it.
General contractors are mostly just scammers who at best will do a shit job and rip you off, and at worse will actually make the situation worse and still scam you.
