Let delivery drivers keep their
-
What does top mean?
To dominate sexually.
-
Excellent answer.
I'd argue that the outfit in the meme is generally considered a Dom outfit which is what triggers the start of this thread.
Although inaccurate it makes the point for the joke. A TOP image would be much more vulgar and hard to find a clean image for.
Exactly.
You can get away with a ... relatively low nudity depiction of a person in a bondage suit.
This also just generally conveys 'sexually curious / active.'
Whereas an actual, more literal depiction of topping someone would essentially by definition be so explicit as to be so blunt that ... it isn't as humorous, because your brain doesn't have to do any work to 'get' the joke.
Not to mention it would probably be censored, and thus far less people would see it.
I dunno, maybe someone can, or has come up with a ... 'help me step-bro, I'm stuck in the washing machine!' ... type of image.
Maybe a cowboy or cowgirl riding a bucking horse ... would be sufficiently understandable visual metaphor?
-
This post did not contain any content.
Aren’t they already being topped by their employers?
-
I hate this heteronormative bullshit that topping is the same as domming
Synonyms are so hetero
lol wtf
-
Synonyms are so hetero
lol wtf
Topping is the act of being the one penetrating their partner, dominating is taking control. They aren't necessarily the same thing
-
So your stance actually is that a woman in a dominatrix suit is always propogating heteronormativity... unless she's wearing a strapon... while could be construed as being used for penetrating either a man or a woman or anyone else.
So in your mind, BDSM is heteronormative unless it explicity is made clear that it is not.
That would mean that in your mind, pegging is not heteronormative, even if it is going on between a heterosexual couple.... even though a man being pegged very, very much goes against the general social view of how sex between a man and a woman works or should work.
... You have a very different understanding of what heteromormativity is and means than I do.
EDIT:
Like, I get the idea that pegging is not heteronormative... but you also seem to think that BDSM... is heteronormative, unless its made very explicitly clear that it is even farther outside the 'normal' realm, with specificity.
BDSM, to the point of owning a dominatrix suit, is absolutely not the standard norm.
It thus is not heteronormative.
We're at about 1 in 5 adults in the US that have tried BDSM once in their lifetimes. It is becoming more popular, but 1 in 5 is still not 'the norm', that'd be at least half.
I can't actually find stats on... how regularly people engage in BDSM as a recurring part of their sex lives, vs people who have just experimented with it... but it is definitionally less than 1 out of 5, likely considerably less.
But then you've also got all the stats on how people who do engage in BDSM are actually much more likely than the general population to actually identify as LGBTQ+ or engage in non-hetero sex... so yeah, thats just another way that BDSM in general just is not heteronormative.
I think the heteronormativity comes from the idea that men are always the ones both doing the penetrating and taking charge in the bedroom lol
-
What does top mean?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]On top during gay sex
-
Beer in the US is too cold. That is the crime here.
Saskatchewan drinks Guinness cold
-
Hmm, as someone relatively deep into lgbtq issues (though particularly trans issues), I'd say the term itself is perhaps a bit misleading. The way I understand it and see it used is that it's about heterosexuality and also gender norms within that traditional heterosexual relationship (so some people think that even in a homosexual relationship there's always "a man" (dominant) and "a woman" (submissive)).
In that sense (to directly relate to the post) a dominant woman in a relationship with a submissive man would actually go against heteronormativity a bit.
On second thought I guess I can see the relation though, in the sense that the traditional "man is dominant in a hetero relationship" combined with the fact that by default most men probably mostly top could make someone see "topping is considered dominant" as reinforcing those traditional relationship norms. Still feels very overreactive by the original commenter but eh.
Your second thought was my first thought tbh
-
Aren’t they already being topped by their employers?
Only when delivering subs
-
Only when delivering subs
Lemmy won't let me reply to your DM. It says you don't exist. Which is kinda funny, since your name is Owl and Lemmy is being like "Who?"
-
Lemmy won't let me reply to your DM. It says you don't exist. Which is kinda funny, since your name is Owl and Lemmy is being like "Who?"
Lemmy is mocking me
-
This post did not contain any content.
Second user's name: "Warm beer is a war crime"
Klok fans: "Now listen here you tyfusleijer"
::: spoiler context
Klok is a Dutch beer, where a common meme is "een man van cultuur drinkt zijn Klok op kamertemperatuur," i.e. a man of culture drinks their Klok at room temperature.
::: -
On top during gay sex
Not just gay sex, any sex with power exchange. Can also include completely heterosexual mild BDSM.
-
Not just gay sex, any sex with power exchange. Can also include completely heterosexual mild BDSM.
Maybe it’s me being old but it was never outside of gay sex when I was young
-
Maybe it’s me being old but it was never outside of gay sex when I was young
From what I've gathered, it's entirely possible that some previously exclusively gay terms are now more generally applied.
-
Hmm, as someone relatively deep into lgbtq issues (though particularly trans issues), I'd say the term itself is perhaps a bit misleading. The way I understand it and see it used is that it's about heterosexuality and also gender norms within that traditional heterosexual relationship (so some people think that even in a homosexual relationship there's always "a man" (dominant) and "a woman" (submissive)).
In that sense (to directly relate to the post) a dominant woman in a relationship with a submissive man would actually go against heteronormativity a bit.
On second thought I guess I can see the relation though, in the sense that the traditional "man is dominant in a hetero relationship" combined with the fact that by default most men probably mostly top could make someone see "topping is considered dominant" as reinforcing those traditional relationship norms. Still feels very overreactive by the original commenter but eh.
Thanks for taking the time to walk through your thoughts - I appreciate the conversation.
I think the particularly egregious problem with interpreting the comment as referring to the association of man=top=dom is that the meme has a gal as the dom, as you've pointed out, which does go against heteronormativity.
-
Not just gay sex, any sex with power exchange. Can also include completely heterosexual mild BDSM.
top means the one who penetrates the other. What you're describing is a dom
-
Maybe it’s me being old but it was never outside of gay sex when I was young
For vanilla cis hetero sex it doesn't apply since the man is always the top and the woman is always the bottom.
-
To dominate sexually.
That is dom. Top means to penetrate the other
