Expectations vs reality for those who moved from a city to a small town?
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
The selection shrinks... on everything. 30 beers on tap at that nice brewhouse becomes 3 at the local watering hole. 20 different unique restaraunts becomes a subway and a chinese place. Groceries? Sure, enjoy your walmart and dollar general.
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How small are we talking? I moved from a large city (Ft. Lauderdale, FL 185k people) to an insanley large city (Brooklyn, NY 2.6 million) then as a sort of whip lash decided I wanted rural living so I took my RV to an area I was thinking of buying a few acres in (Mossyrock, WA ~1000 people) and plopped for a few months. It was not for me. Real "one coffee shop, one restaraunt, one bar" type place and while I loved it initially, the pain-in-the ass of day to day living was too much. Think 20 min drives to the closest gas station, 45 min drives to the nearest large grocer.
After moving around the area quite a bit, I landed on a place with ~35k people and to me, after two years, I am still loving it. Feels like small town rural living but downtown is a 10 min drive away with a bunch of eateries, bars, nightlife, etc.
Pros of 'smaller' town living (after trying a few areas that passed the vibe check):
- Community. With everything going on in the world right now it feels like you are powerless. Shrinking the scope of your action to your neighbors and your immediate area empowers you to make change in a way you've never felt before. You can participate and have direct impact in all sorts of ways, from city council meetings, to improvement projects, to just participating in a local farmers market.
- Safety. Some people may see this as a negative, and I guess it could be depending on how invasive your direct neighbors are lol, but for me on 5 acres it's been incredible. Everyone knows if something is amiss and are not afraid to 'ring the alarm' as it were. When I first bought the property I was parking along the road as it was very overgrown, countless people stopped and asked if I needed help with the car (assuming I had broken down) then proceeded to introduce themselves and have met a ton of people in this way.
- Affordability. Land and housing is cheaper, groceries stay the same (assuming you are near a main interstate). You can buy a house for the price of an apartment in a large city.
- Quiet. Being in a large city is being in the belly of the beast. The gears are turning all night long. With smaller city living, it's the opposite, peace and quiet, take a deep breath and relax. Night life and night owls still exist, but you have to go hunt them down.
- Less Police Presence. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
- Gardens and Greenery. Speaks for itself, less population density == less concrete paradise == more biodiversity.
Cons:
- Commute. If you don't have a WFH gig, most smaller cities will not have an abundance of the type of work you do. You'll most likely have a commute so somewhere with light rail might be awesome for you if that's the case.
- Gentrification. Depending on where you come from and where you are moving to, you might be seen as a sort of 'colonizer.' I don't get that sneer but I did get several people making sure I was not coming from California LOL.
- Slower Pace. In FL it's known colloquially as "Cuban Time" basically meaning that time estimates should be taken with a grain of salt. The pace of the life is slower in a small town and you might find services taking forever to be completed. If you can relax and go with the flow though, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Ok this turned into an essay, this new coffee bean smacks. Best of luck!
- **Less Police Presence**. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
That’s not the impression I got from Twin Peaks 🧐
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The slutty farmer’s daughter is usually ugly but always a great lay.
Username totally checks out.
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The selection shrinks... on everything. 30 beers on tap at that nice brewhouse becomes 3 at the local watering hole. 20 different unique restaraunts becomes a subway and a chinese place. Groceries? Sure, enjoy your walmart and dollar general.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Bar culture is a waste of money anyways.
You can get more variety at a cheaper price from grocery stores. It doesn't make sense to pay more money to drink at a bar with people who you're not close enough to visit each other's homes.
Anyone who spends $7 on a shot when an entire bottle costs $12 isn't using their brain.
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My only surprise was how shit every nearby restaurant is
Doesn't surprise me that the main thing city people complain about is they need more places to spend their money.
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wrote last edited by [email protected]
I'm experiencing the exact opposite, personally.
My neighbors have been extremely kind and generous, on a level that couldn't even be dreamed of in the city.
They've literally helped me cut my grass on several occasions out of pure kindness because they have a riding mower and I have a push one. And that's just one family.
My car has also never been broken into after years of living here. In the city, all of my friends' cars have been broken into.
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Bar culture is a waste of money anyways.
You can get more variety at a cheaper price from grocery stores. It doesn't make sense to pay more money to drink at a bar with people who you're not close enough to visit each other's homes.
Anyone who spends $7 on a shot when an entire bottle costs $12 isn't using their brain.
I was with you until you said grocery store beer. No selection at grocery stores in my area unless you want a lager.
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I was with you until you said grocery store beer. No selection at grocery stores in my area unless you want a lager.
I'm mostly referring to liquor because it's the most economical way to get drunk.
My local Walmart has a decent selection of beers, but I've been to HEBs that have entire sections devoted to craft beers. It may depend on the grocery store in question.
You can still get a better selection at a cheaper price at liquor stores than bars.
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Small town only feel safer until you end up pissing off the wrong person with the right influence. And then it feels like living in some Mafia nightmare. It doesn't even take pissing people off either. Tell someone you are gay in secret? Now half the town thinks you are a pedophile.
Small town "safety" is a myth for the privileged. The crime gap is also kind of a myth. Most small town police departments won't even write a report for domestic violence unless someone ends up in the hospital.
I'm sorry you have had bad experiences and they've stuck with you. I wish you the best in the future!
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A lot of people from California come to the smaller cities near bigger cities in southern Missouri. What sucks is that they're driving up the costs of homes and real estate. Wish I could go somewhere that's still kinda nice and get a bigger nicer house for 1\4 the cost and retire early.
I get it, I often daydream about life as a member of the lucky sperm club lol
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- **Less Police Presence**. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
That’s not the impression I got from Twin Peaks 🧐
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How small we talking?
Around 2,000 people
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Around 2,000 people
Oh wow, yeah, truly small. It depends on your own outlook and how willing you are to assimilate, or if you're okay with being kind of an outcast who sticks to themselves. If for instance you're a young progressive atheist moving to a rural Tennessee town of deeply religious conservatives, yeah that's not going to be fun. Small Vermont ski town? You'll fit right in. Alaskan town? They'll be conservative, sure, but given the weather and isolation, people have a tendency to rely upon each other and that brings the community closer together.
I grew up rural just outside a town of about 30,000 that was just transitioning to a formally-designated small city. You could go to the grocery store and not see people you knew 2 out of 3 times, I'd say. It's not always bad. We're social creatures and the internet has gotten us away from that, somewhat detrimentally.
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Bar culture is a waste of money anyways.
You can get more variety at a cheaper price from grocery stores. It doesn't make sense to pay more money to drink at a bar with people who you're not close enough to visit each other's homes.
Anyone who spends $7 on a shot when an entire bottle costs $12 isn't using their brain.
Meeting people at the grocery store:
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The slutty farmer’s daughter is usually ugly but always a great lay.
Yeah. She will always be there when nobody responds to your booty call. Sluts are the real friends in your life.
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The pond gets small really fucking quick. You will run into someone you know almost every time you leave the house. You can't just blend in and get away from anything. Including whatever reputation you develop.
It's honestly fucking awful.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Y'know, that's the primary thing people cite as being nice about a small town. Interesting it was a nasty surprise for you.
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Meeting people at the grocery store:
Yeah, I'm a pretty cheap person, but I don't go to a bar to save money, I go to relax and socialize.
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Y'know, that's the primary thing people cite as being nice about a small town. Interesting it was a nasty surprise for you.
He couldn't hide his reputation enough lmao
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Meeting people at the grocery store:
wrote last edited by [email protected]If you're not living a boring life, then you should naturally come across plenty of different people with plenty of different opportunities to make connections.
"Meeting people at the grocery store" is a lazy and ignorant excuse to justify going to bars. If you think those are your only two options, then you're the problem and I pity anyone who gets caught in your web.
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Y'know, that's the primary thing people cite as being nice about a small town. Interesting it was a nasty surprise for you.
"Why don't you go to church?" gets tedious after the 14,000th time.
